Oh boy

 So I am unfortunately realizing once again I missed my blog day. I will say what has been happening to me. I have been recently very busy with hurting my lower back. 

  I have been at the moment have only seen the work site paramedic and doctor. So far they say it is most likely a strain muscle and all that can be done is put some heat on it and take it easy. 

  For the first time ever in the trades I have been offered modified duty’s that are easy on my back. Qa/Qc (quality assurance/ quality control). I have done the job here before and it is a very simple job and zero ways to use my back.

   So besides the back I don’t want to continue to miss my blog day. It has great importance in my life now. It has become a direct reflection of how life and my kung fu is doing. The more often I miss the blog the more I pull away. 

  I’m a little paper boat slowing sailing into an open drain. I have done that path before and it does not end well for me.

 So more unfortunately I don’t have any new numbers to add. The lower back problems pretty much started on Monday. So I have done zero kung fu and apparently not very engaged enough to be on time for my blog.

  I know sometime in life things can happen out of your control, but I have done plenty of other things or lack there of in my control.  I have been curious lately about why do we self sabotage sometimes or a lot of the times.

 I know I do it to myself a lot and think back why did I make a choice that would hurt me more on the long run. Bluntly put lazy, procrastination, easy way out. 

 At least that why I think I have self sabotage so much. I know what are my limitations and I keep myself to far in them. It smart to not go so far to break yourself, but not great if zero change happens as well.

 I have been extra jumbled this week because of my, back, but my mind clearly was not on kung fu when there was opportunity to do so.

 Well thank you for your time and hopefully I smarten up.

Life and Value

Ok so two things happening here we will talk about the first one life. Life has been going haywire for me and is getting out of control. I need to become engaged in my life again and become more active and make more of an effort to my commitments. 

  I have been taking a path well traveled to the more worse version of myself. I am needing to do not only kung fu at home, but more importantly go to classes. I don’t want to continuously feeling horrified. I know my route to success begins with kung fu. 

  Not just simply the classes and practices, but the lesson and mastery taught by our school to take and apply it to my life. I know when I do this my life becomes so much better, because I have done it before. This time I have new challenges to deal with, but it’s still doable. 

 I would say at the moment I’m at a certain rock bottom feeling. I know my life could be worse, but I am just barely making a blip in my life and choices I am making. 

 I would like to start by saying  I will be going to my black belt class this Tuesday. I am going to start telling people on my blog that I am going to put more accountability on myself, and make me feel really bad if I decide not to go to class, because lazy.

  So beside feeling I’m in crisis there is good happening. That would be the value part of this blog. It relates to how work is going for me at the moment. It is going well and enjoying more than I thought I would.

   I learned for the first time to value my knowledge and my capabilities to work fast and efficiently and effectively in my electrical trade. I have as some might know always have kept a very low opinion of myself. I tend to think the sludge on the bottom of your shoe has more value than me. 

  I am always so negative when it comes to me, but like I said for the first time I finally see my value. It made me surprised and happy. 

I did a task at my job with another colleague  of mine and both had the same task to accomplish. The only difference was I had one cable that had to be re-pulled, because it was to short. So the task for both of us was to terminate (connect) seven 3 pair cables to the panel and ignore the cable with 19 wires and for me the cable that needed to be re-pulled. 

  I found the job to be easy, because for me it was. I completed the seven 3 pair cables, then the cable with 19 wires. Then finally the re-pulled and  terminate the cable on both sides with some time to spare. So I finished the panel to completion. 

 It was a decent amount of work, but nothing to challenging in my opinion. I have done this type of work before and there was more to the job then just terminating, but I have already explained maybe to much that is needed, for what I learned.

 At the end of the day my colleague was still  preparing the 7 cables to be terminated at the end of the day. The lead hand told me that he did not expect me to be so fast, or that I would complete the panel today. 

 My colleague is a good person and has their own learning curve that they are doing. I just finally valued my skill as an electrician. I finally for the first time found value in me when it comes to being an electrician.

 I never thought I was any good or not great by any means, but I have come a long way since I started the trade. I still have lots to learn, but I am good at it as well.

 So really long blog today, but I need to wake up and change my life. I will continue getting worse if I do nothing or start appreciating myself more. Life can be hard or hard with accomplishment. I want accomplishment. 

 This is not the first blog I have done the whole ra ra ra let’s go, so this blog sort of falls flat on me for the moment. Until I actually do the ra ra stuff this is simply a blog to please the people and hide  behind a mask until it falls off again. 

 So I have a lot of mixed feelings right now. I want to succeed, but let’s see what the next few blogs say and see if I followed through or just another empty ra ra blog.

  Thank you for reading a long one today here are some numbers:

Acts of kindness: 700

Km: 700

Sit ups: 1250

Push ups: 850

Da mu hsing: 71

Drum stick form: 75

Spar: 10

Elliptical(minutes):12900

Social outings:2

Family or Friends contacted:2

Blogs:18

  

Time

 I am really sorry I have let time get away from me. I have been so busy with work I have let time slip by and missed my blog day and informing those of my whereabouts when needed. 

  I have not even been looking at what day it is. It has all been numbers. I work, I sleep, I get some kung fu I and then I eat and then repeat. 

 I have not been engaged enough to be making better decisions. 

  Honestly all my days seem to have been like a merge. Like there is no difference between what day it is. The only thing I have been focusing on is the sun up ok work or day off. Is the sun down ok sleep time( well try to).

 I did not realize that we were very much so passed Sunday until now. I have a lot to reflect on to make myself better and try to not make the same mistakes again. 

Thanks you for reading my blog and sorry again for messing up.

  So not great numbers this time either but here they are.

Acts of kindness: 680

Km: 680

Sit ups: 1200

Push ups: 820

Da mu hsing: 70

Drum stick form: 74

Spar: 10

Elliptical(minutes):12900

Social outings:2

Family or Friends contacted:1

Sick

 I have been kinda sick this week. I did not start the week as such, but I had to call into work sick. Luckily it was on my 3 days off so I was off for 4 days. 

So honestly I spend multiple days just sleeping. I was so tired. It was like my body was trying to catch up on all the sleep I have been missing. 

  I was starting to feel better coming close to the parade day, but unfortunately I got worse on the day of. I was looking forward to being in the parade and to do some drumming. So I slept a lot that day as well. 

 I am on the way to climbing back to better health again. I finally do feel more rested now. It’s kinda inevitable, almost sleeping almost all four days.

  I am not 100 percent but I’m feel like 70 to 80 right now.

  So I do have some numbers but back to the numbers I was doing before which was not a lot.

Acts of kindness: 650

Km: 660

Sit ups: 1040

Push ups: 800

Da mu hsing: 68

Drum stick form: 71

Spar: 10

Elliptical(minutes):12900

Social outings:2

Family or Friends contacted:1