4 Months

 So I thought I would give an  update on my well being, and situation. I met with my brain doctor last week and I was unsure what I was hoping for, but also ignoring the most likely outcome of our meeting. I have made really great progress form where I started, but I know I am still recovering. 

I still have balance issues, but that has done a lot better now. I used to need a walker to walk 15 m, now I do 50 mins on the elliptical. I still  have a lot of issues with doing forms and stances and even standing in one spot sometimes. My body now naturally sways like if buoy in the ocean. It has gotten better as well It used to be a sway like in a storm, now I am more like a windy day. 

Whenever I over exert myself physically I become dizzy and it becomes a lot harder to speak. I stutter and cannot remember the simplest words like 'car'; only when I become dizzy though so that is good.  I would say whenever I get into that state I start an internal fight with myself. I tell myself you can say those words without stuttering and you do know the next word. I might be to hard on myself for when I start feeling dizzy. I refuse the idea that I am in this current situation, but I am.

My meeting went good for the most part, but then do to the complications I am still experiencing I got another 4 months off of work. I don't know how to feel about it. Happy that I get more time to get back to functional, or sad and angry for having to do another 4 months. I know I have to take care of my health first, but mentally it takes a toll. These 4 months are gonna take me back to the anniversary the day I got into an accident. It will be 1 year since I last worked.

The mental side of things I would consider myself a late bloomer in the sense of starting my own life. I moved out of my parents home in my late 20's. I finally found a career I really enjoyed. I finally became an journeyman electrician, then I got into an accident. It feels as if I have had to rewind some of my life's progress. I will always fully appreciate everything my parents have done for me, and that they helped me greatly. If anything it made me love them more.

 I know I am getting better, because I am able to do kung fu again. I don't hate the fact I have been in the accident. I have learned a lot of valuable lessons and I am grateful for them and more to come.  I am not super happy about it either, but I have still been coming to terms with the process of everything. Maybe when I get dizzy it s okay that it makes me stutter. I know those moments of dizziness are also slowly disappearing. Past week I have not had any dizzy spells and I was more active. The physio is working.  I will never be where I used to be, but I will be better.

Sifu Langner

5 Animals

I have a theory about the five animals and what they mean to me. I have thought a lot about how animals connect to our kung fu and the reasoning behind it. Simple answer is because  they move through instinct and we try to emulate those animals.  

Crane= balance, Snake=flow, Leopard= speed, Tiger= power Dragon=chi/mastery. 

  This is the very simple answer. They are far more complex than this and that is what is very interesting to me. For me they are also connected to 5 elements as well, air, water, fire, earth, and spirit. 

 All of the animals also emulate each other as well to a certain extent, but I am just going to try and focus on the main points that stick out for me on all the animals even knowing there is more.

Crane

Cranes are known for what we try to emulate balance and I associate air with them. Cranes have a medium body, long neck and long legs. They're many animals that have great balance ,so why cranes? Could be as simple as someone just simply pick them, because it was the first time they started to look at animals for inspirations. I like to think that not only is their balance is to be admired, but when they open their wings and begin to fly it reminds me of taking a deep breath in and proceeding forward with great balance. Hence why I believe air to be with the crane. In windy days you need great balance especially if you walk over a thin beam and remember to breath so you don't panic. Cranes can achieve this with ease even on a windy day. I believe the crane also promotes breathing. Always remember to breath and you will be as calm as a sorrowing crane. With breath and balance we can achieve a clear mind.

Snake

Snakes are known for there stealthy approach for hunting, but we use it for flow instead. It is how they're able to achieve that stealth that shows flow. The fluidity of how a snake moves allows it to strike from different angles, and as it traps it's prey the snake figures out the preys rhythm and uses it against them. I associate water for snakes. Water moves and flows through multiple terrains and watching water articulate it's way can be very peaceful with it's rhythmic ways. Every muscle and bone methodically move to achieve it's goal. Natural flow.  With the combine control and movement of our body's we can achieve harmony within ourselves.

Leopard

Leopard known for the incredible speed and agility they can output. Leopard's calculated quick strikes to catch their prey. The embodiment of speed and motion. Not only does it move fast, but thinks just as quick. I associate fire for leopard. Fire can burn with a high heat in an instant when started, but after that the fire eventually dies down, but if an ember get out and lands in kindling a slow dying fire can charge ahead once again with unimaginable speed and chaos. To have control over our speed and agility can provide a quick thinking during critical times and to finish off the opponent swiftly. If our speed is left unchecked chaos is sure to follow. As a fire and leopard start with quick thinking and control they can accomplish great feats. We can achieve control over our speed and motion.   

Tiger

Tiger is highly notable for their immense strength and taking conflict head on. Tiger's strike with much ferocity and powerful strikes. Tigers strike most from where they are strongest, because they are also methodical thinkers. I associate tiger with earth. Earth is grounded and when brought together mighty sturdy mountains form. Trying to push a mountain in near impossible. Tigers have full control over their strength and use it to their advantage. Tiger's align their skeleton and muscle to achieve a unstoppable strike, using the ground to their advantage. We can achieve powerful strikes through proper alignment in our skeleton and form that emanate from the earth and using our strength to the best of our ability's. 

 

Dragon

 I know of the komodo dragon, and the dragon fly, but for me that is not the dragon that fits the 5. So why make an a creature that does not exist apart of the animals we practice? Dragon for me is the most personable one. Dragon is an abstract concept, but in lore they are mainly depicted as great beings that are far beyond our reach and filled with immense magical power, and a soaring intellect and wisdom. Seems unattainable, so why choose such unrealistic standards? I say why not? Do I think I will ever achieve this? I think maybe. It is a state of mind of thinking once we have achieved a understanding of the other 4 animals. Once that is done all that is left is understanding your chi within yourself and around you. I don't believe I have mastered any of the animals but the dragon helps me see how they all work together and how my own chi works within the animals. Chi can help all aspects of the animals. I feel as I may only know 1% of my capabilities and understanding and that excites me to know there is so much more for me to explore and understand. So for me it makes all the sense in the world to put the Dragon as the 5th. To achieve great things in life sometimes you got to aim high. I associate spirit as the 5th element. spirit is everywhere and everything, and you. Spirit helps you find who you are and drive your intent into chi then into strength. Dragon is having a  great understanding of yourself and how to implement yourself. Achieving dragon is mastery over all 4 animals and internal and external energy's and of ones self. Dragon is the extraordinary we all pursue in are daily lives. To me this sounds like one heck of an amazing journey waiting for me to have, and I am looking forward to it.

There is more to explore with all 5 animals, but i am pretty sure a would need a novel. So that are some of my ideas on how the five animals work in kung fu.

For those that made it to the last line I thank you for taking the time to read it all, or skimming, or this is the first time you're actually reading this big blog(ha ha).

Sifu Langner