Intent and Action

 Intent and action are two completely different concepts, but if they work together you accomplish extraordinary outcomes. Having intent to accomplish a goal, but without action the goal will not be reached. Doing action without intent will make the goal not serve you. Both intent and action used together will make the goal reached and the goal serve you.

 If I want to see a change in myself I need to have intent and action. My intent is to see that change, but it will not happen if I do not take action. If I do actions without intent then achieving my goal will likely fail. Having intent will find value in my actions. 

 Actions and intent can be applied on the grander scale of big life goals, or as small as a single punch. If I apply both intent and action to both it will serve me greatly.

 I have been really finding the great things about how powerful intent and action work together. I find that I have experience all three ways before and have seen the results. I used to put in only action as a younger guy in kung fu. I would show up then leave. That was my action with kung fu, because I had no real intent kung fu served no purpose for me at the time; so I quit. I had intent to go back to kung fu, but never took action. I found my intent, and initiated my action to go back, and then kung fu served me greatly; which helped me achieve extraordinary goals.  

Sifu Langner

 

Murphy's Law

So last week we finally finished some home improvement. My uncle really helped us a lot in finishing our new floors. We really appreciate all the hard work he did for us. We now have laminate flooring and tile bathroom. It was a project my parents wanted done for a very long time. Reason I bring up the construction, because I was helping my uncle throughout the whole process. We were finishing up the bathroom and he was reattaching the water line to the toilet. I was putting some caulking on some base boards. He asked my aunt to pass him an adjustable wrench; it was a fairly big wrench. Well in the passing of the wrench over my head the pass did not make it and dropped on the back of my head. In the very spot that whenever I applied any sort of pressure it would send me into a dizzy spell. 

   This area on the back of my head was more sensitive before and someone just poking the back of my head would make me dizzy. I have come a long way to now it did not effect me at all anymore. Initially after getting hit I was a little worried, but nothing happened right away. Until the adrenalin wore off; I became dizzy and it lasted for two days. Not continuous dizziness, but off and on. 

  I am feeling better now. The tiny event that happened to me seem to not faze me, like other times I have become dizzy. Before I would be really frustrated, or upset at the lack of control I have over my body, and mind. This time I was more mentally ready. It sucks that this random bad thing happened to me, but it is okay. I got to really connect with my aunt and uncle, and that is what stuck in my mind; besides the wrench that hit it. 

Sifu Langner

Nervous

So I am closing in on my re-evaluation from the brain doctor. It will be in January, still 2 months at least. I am not nervous to see if I will be going back to work or not. I am nervous if I do get the green light to go back to work. I wonder if I will find a job, or even still be a somewhat competent electrician. I am still a fairly new journeyman and I worry that even if I find a job I will possibly lose it do to not performing well enough. 

  Coming November 16 will be my anniversary of my accident. That means I have not worked for over a year by the time I get a job again. I have been learning a lot about myself in this year, both mentally and physically. I may be moving towards a better future for myself, but nervousness still wreaks havoc for me when it comes to work. Even before the accident I would always worry that my work could be not good enough, or I am not getting the job done fast enough. I am a man who thinks that I am never doing good enough at my job so I work harder. Even if I am told they are really happy with my work I don't let up, because compliancy produces poor work, or causes harm. I have seen once a worker feels as though they do not have to earn their job, are normally the first ones to go.

  I am developing a new strategy for my way of thinking when going back to work. I need to get the thought process of work hard and not settle for mediocracy, and also show gratitude when I am told I am doing well. I need to maintain my high standards, while not beating myself up. I am just wasting time and energy when I do this. I need to be aware of the negative events that could happen, but not dwell on them. Focus on the possibility of my future and how I will accomplish it. 

  I think this accident has helped me prepare for the return to work, but this time better mentally. Oh boy this is going to be a lot of hard work here, but I am ready for it.

(Side note: Honestly I was feeling a lot more nervous until I wrote this blog and made this plan. The power of The Blog.)

Sifu Langner

Workouts

I have been fairly sore these past few weeks. I have been consistently going to the gym 3 times a week. I had talked with a personal trainer at the beginning and established the amount of times I would be going to the gym. Ideally the number of times per week should be 4 to 5, but I knew that was an unrealistic goal for myself. If I did 5 times a week I would burn out half way through on the 2nd week. Also I was not physically able to achieve that anyways, but even if I could I knew my limitations. 

  Currently I am enjoying just trying to build a solid foundation by learning from a master. I am developing a progression that I can maintain and that is not to extreme; a nice gentle turn of the wheel.  I do have a goal someday to increase the amount of times of going to the gym. I am starting this gym event within my new found limits, but I am slowly testing beyond the limits I have set for myself. Lots of frustrations and wanting to quit, or not wanting to show up to the next work out day. I am still trying to develop a better attitude about going, but it is getting better. Have not miss a workout day yet.

  Right now I need to build my strong foundation to build my future.  I have limits, but they do not hold me back. I push beyond my limits, but not so far to create more. To little of a push accomplishes nothing new, push to much and backwards I will fall. This journey of rebuilding my strength and balance back has been a huge up hill battle. I can't say that all this has been fun, but I can say I am thankful for it.

Sifu Langner