Coming November 16 will be my anniversary of my accident. That means I have not worked for over a year by the time I get a job again. I have been learning a lot about myself in this year, both mentally and physically. I may be moving towards a better future for myself, but nervousness still wreaks havoc for me when it comes to work. Even before the accident I would always worry that my work could be not good enough, or I am not getting the job done fast enough. I am a man who thinks that I am never doing good enough at my job so I work harder. Even if I am told they are really happy with my work I don't let up, because compliancy produces poor work, or causes harm. I have seen once a worker feels as though they do not have to earn their job, are normally the first ones to go.
I am developing a new strategy for my way of thinking when going back to work. I need to get the thought process of work hard and not settle for mediocracy, and also show gratitude when I am told I am doing well. I need to maintain my high standards, while not beating myself up. I am just wasting time and energy when I do this. I need to be aware of the negative events that could happen, but not dwell on them. Focus on the possibility of my future and how I will accomplish it.
I think this accident has helped me prepare for the return to work, but this time better mentally. Oh boy this is going to be a lot of hard work here, but I am ready for it.
(Side note: Honestly I was feeling a lot more nervous until I wrote this blog and made this plan. The power of The Blog.)
Sifu Langner
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