When I first recorded acts of kindness many years ago, I just counted simply an act like picking up someone's pen. Sure it is a kind act, but I was simply just trying to play the system. I did become aware of the little things that could be considered kind. I would write I opened a door for someone, and then immediately think "tick" another one done. I would like to say I did all these kind acts because I was kind, but I did them so I could count them. I completely missed the mark behind kindness.
Being kind is understanding others around you to a certain extent. Seeing when others are just simply needing a smile because you can tell they are having a rough day. Feeling excited for someone when they are doing good. To become kind is to be empathetic.
Making supper for my parents. I know it relives the stress for my father and make him happy. My mother is also happy and appreciative. I have learned from them that sometimes when I have made the supper my dad was still stressed. Which gave me the opportunity to simply ask whats up? I do barely any talking, and he just simply needed an ear. I found myself wanting to produce happiness for others. I was not looking for a "tick" nor looking for acknowledgement from them for me being kind. I just wanted people to be happy. I started to think what can I do to make them happy, within reason.
I feel as though I am still learning lots of great things about empathy and being kind. Doing kinds acts I have found to be fairly easy, but to be fully engaged into what I am being kind about I found difficult. I am trying to be more aware of how I make people feel, and how it makes me feel. I try to look for more mindful ways to be kind, and not make the act a hoop. Once my acts of kindness become a hoop, I need help. Acts of kindness should never be a hoop, but a ladder to greater understanding of yourself and those around you.
Sifu Langner
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