Imbalance

 My engagement must be low since I have a hard time of thinking of what to blog. When I am unsure of what to blog it can be a sign of lack of engagement in life for me. I have been working in the extremes. If I don’t work I do nothing. If I work I work hard. No middle ground.

  I found this Sunday to be one of my laziest. I pretty much almost slept all day and I’m still a little tired. Sunday has always been a rest day to refocus, but to sleep almost all day is a bit much. I have been working non stop for awhile now, but 2 days off is good.

 Down side of this sleep all day is now my sleep schedule for a little bit is going to be thrown off. That’s the consequence of my actions though or rather inaction. 

 I need to establish a better routine in my life where it’s more sustainable and more positive for me. Working is good to make money, but not living life at all is bad. I always thinks it’s funny to me that when I work or not in both scenarios I did not really live life. When I had time I stayed at home, and now that I don’t have time I have a better excuse for not living life.

  I don’t like being proficient in mediocrity. It is the skill I have a Doctorate in. I am good at calling myself out( mainly just the negative things , not the positive side), but then it’s the next step that I have issues with. It’s the apply a solution step. It acquires me to stop being mediocre. 

 Step one in always in getting better is acknowledging your faults so you can learn and grow from them. If I were to say I don’t know why I am so mediocre then that’s a lie to myself. I can’t start fixing my problems if I can’t even acknowledge what I am doing to sabotage myself. 

Acknowledging the problem is easy for me, but it’s literally just the beginning of a great change. It’s the action step that take a lot of willpower and determination and motivation to accomplish.

  I’m always up and down mentally. I have more time in the down side of things mentally, but I know what the good side is like. Blogging has been my core anchor for me this year. It has helped me not stay in the darkest side of my mind. Blogging has helped me not stay there.

 I don’t have any new numbers. I thank you for reading this blog of mine

Stay Awake

I am having a hard time writing this blog tonight. I am literally trying to fight off me sleeping. I think it’s interesting that I went from an unlimited schedule to be doing anything, to be non stop working.  I have been working non stop with crazy hours. 

It’s kinda funny how when I had al the time in the world I did not do much kung fu, but now that I am super busy with work, I am trying harder to keep kung fu in my life 

 I almost dozed off to bed and realized I had not written a blog. These Blogs are important to me. They have kept me afloat for the whole year. I feel as if I had missed a blog I would have already fallen off the wagon completely.

  My kung fu journey is a never ending one. I’m at least happy to say kung fu is a part of my life, even if it’s only a little right now. 

 Thank you for reading short blog today. I do have some numbers this time:

Acts of kindness: 2050

Km: 1650

Sit ups: 7600

Push ups: 7600

Da mu hsing: 160

Drum stick form: 270

The Power of Poke

   I have been poked a few times. It can really work for some or a complete miss for others, but I find I fall into the category of it works. I sometimes get a poke about how am I doing mentally or if I’m going to kung fu. It is a simple gesture that carries no ill will and simply tosses the ball into my court.

  I have had days where I was simply exhausted from work and getting ready for bed, then a little poke happens and says Kung fu maybe? Maybe not exactly like that, but it is the jist. I know whatever answer I put it would not be looked down upon. 

 It is a simple poke that just wants the best for me. If I am working sure, if I am about to make a lazy decision maybe not anymore. 

  Being able to do a good poke has a bit of finesse to it as well. The best ones are normally simple for me, but it changes for everyone to what they respond to. 

 The other poke for my mental was simply asking what anime or manga I’m into or if I’m practicing . Not asking if I’m mentally stable, because I was quite wobbly, but simply starting a conversation. Eventually Maybe making a new friend. 

  The poke did not feel like any pressure and simply made me feel responsible for my actions and wanting more for myself. It all helped a lot.

 The art of being a good poker is like walking on a tight rope it’s a very effective tool, but poke to hard and it completely collapses. This again depends on the person. Everyone is different. I have just be lucky enough to have good pokers in my life. 

  I want to thank the people who have poked me to maybe make better decisions on my life and still every now then send me a poke. It’s the smallest gesture with grand impact.

Also thank you everyone for reading this blog. The skill for doing so is always admired by me. Anyways I have some new numbers to put:

Acts of kindness: 2010

Km: 1620

Sit ups: 7570

Push ups: 7570

Da mu hsing: 160

Drum stick form: 269

Spar: 108

Reflection

  My year in I Ho Chaun has been one heck of a roller coaster. The highs and lows were very educational about myself and how kung fu serves me and me to it. This year was about bringing aspects of kung fu back into my life. Training and the mental side of things as well.

  Hiding from responsibilities is easy, procrastinating is easy, thinking negatively is also easy for me. I certainly did not accomplish everything I wanted to accomplish, but I did get to see some results out of this year.

   Blogging every week kept me from giving up and just going into hiding. It kept my issues I had at the forefront to let me know what I need to continuously work on. It helped me stay engaged not only in kung fu, but my life as well. I can confidently say I have not missed my blogs this year ( maybe some a little late) blogging has been one of the most important tools I could use this year. MVP

  The acts of kindness were the easiest thing in the world for me to accomplish. I have always tried to be kind when I can, but what I like about the challenge is it helps me see who else in my life is kind as well, and acknowledge when someone else is being kind to me. It’s very easy to become absorbed into what I am doing for others, but then miss what others are doing as well. I feel lucky that I have a lot of kind people in my life.

   The fitness aspect of it has always been a challenge. I have had better years with the fitness aspect of it, but it helps me feel some sense of accomplishment even if I was not able to complete the fitness. I will and can do better. I did learn to be proud of not zero, but still knowing I can do better. I am not trying to justify to put in bare minimum effort, but instead try to reinforce the aspect of I can do better, but I did not do zero. 

  I have had to many years of zero, and  the years where I had low numbers I used it as fuel to be a showcase of how big of a failure I am and deserve the worst things because of it. I re-introduced of looking at it as more positive and saying I can do better and not give up.

  The forms have always been a lot of fun to do and sometimes the biggest frustrations. I have been enjoying Da mu hsing as for me it was the first form I got to learn. You would think I am an expert at this form now, but I’m not. That is probably the best part. I get to keep learning about Da mu hsing even knowing it’s the oldest form I know. There will always be more to learn and I love it.

  The weapon form I have this year is my drum stick form. It has  been my little project for quite a few years. It has brought me more than enough frustrations, but also a sense of pride for how far this form has come for me. It is a form that helped me define every beat in the drumming sequence and make my moves and the drum one. When I am able to have a drum beat and my form together it makes me extremely happy when I can pull it off.

    I would not say this year for me was a huge success, but at least a step in the right direction. If I’m looking at just that then this was a successful year. I will continue to make poor decisions, but I will also be more active about doing the good ones as well. Me specifically trying to focus more on the positive has always been one of my biggest hurdles in life, but I have been practicing.

  Anyways thank you all for joining me on my I ho chuan journey. It has been a crazy ride and this years I ho chuan is coming closer to the end. I do have some numbers:

Acts of kindness: 2000

Km: 1600

Sit ups: 7550

Push ups: 7550

Da mu hsing: 159

Drum stick form: 264

Spar: 108