Late, Tired, Sleepy.

  All I want to do right now is sleep. It was a long day and as I lay my head to rest, I remembered it was Sunday; blogging time. 

 I have put in my life right now as blogging is a high priority for me. It is my life line to me and kung fu. If I miss a week, even if it was a reasonable excuse, I will fall off. Every time I started skipping or not writing my blogs is when my life and kung fu get worse.

 Blogging is the very tool that has changed my life. I don’t personally like writing these blogs all the time, but it keeps me engaged in life and more focused on kung fu. Blogging forces me to see my flaws and see my successes. I see the great value blogging has to offer me and I try to use it. 

  If I lived in my comfort zone I would not blog. It can be tedious, and sometimes keeping me awake before I go to bed. I still go to blogs because they are a source of extraordinary events and miracles. If I use the blog it will help me build a better person. 

  Even knowing I said some negative things about blogging. I would recommend anyone to start blogging if they are going through something. It might not fix, or will, but one thing for sure it will help. Not an instant fix, but a start.

 Blogging might be the greatest tool I was ever given. 

   My mind is a fuzzy right now and I’m not sure if I was coherent in my blog, but I hope you all had a great day and of course thank you for reading my fuzzy blog.

Anyways here are some numbers:

Acts of kindness: 600

Km: 600

Sit ups: 5150

Push ups: 5150

Da mu hsing: 85

Drum stick form: 119

Spar: 108

Also Introvert

 I remember when I first learn what this word means. I always thought my parents were very out going people, but then later realized we were family of introverts. I thought they were extroverts, because they could talk for a very long time, but later realized that was to people they were comfortable with. I turned out the same way. Once I am comfortable with you I talk up a storm.

  I would say I have always preferred not interacting with anyone. If I could live life without ever having to be responsible to the outside world I might take it, but I’m not a 100 % introvert.

   I want to make my friend group size bigger without talking. I want to maybe meet someone, someday with out interacting with the world. I want more introverted friends, but normally we all keep to ourselves. 

 I find sometimes being an introvert has some advantages. I don’t mind going to Japan for month by myself. I enjoy staying home and watching random YouTube or reading. I enjoy most of the time being self reliant and living in my small little world; It is cozy. For the most of my time I am content with myself.

  Extroverts are sometimes scary people to me. They want to go out all the time and hang out just for the sake of hanging out. Not hang out at home, but go somewhere and meet up. Extroverts have this weird ability to strike up a conversation with random people and become invested and even look forward to maybe meeting these people again.

 I have been trying to learn to have more extrovert like tendencies in my life. Not that I don’t value who I am. I personally don’t think anyone is a pure extrovert or introvert ; we all lean a little to one side or the other. I also think it’s not good to be purely one or the other. 

 I am just trying to be me, but also put myself out there like others. I have tried to learn the good and bad of both traits the best I can. I am trying to not go months without any human interaction and being perfectly content with that. 

  I am trying to find my balance of where I can freely want to hang out with people and then also be content with zero interaction at home. 

  Kung fu was minimal, but not zero. I have been busy, but not efficient with my time. I would say this is a huge success for me, because normally it’s zero, but I will always strive for better, because I know I can do better. 

Anyways thanks again for reading my blog. It is always amazing that you do this. Here are my numbers.

Acts of kindness: 550

Km: 500

Sit ups: 5000

Push ups: 5000

Da mu hsing: 80

Drum stick form: 112

Spar: 108

Weird Cold + Do Better + Tiger Challenge

 Since near the end of my work week I swear my hotel I was staying at made me have a weird cold. My nose is producing excessive mucus and at the same time hardening inside my nose. I have been actively taking medicine and resting for pretty much my whole week off from work. 

 Cold in the past for me are normally just small inconvenience I might be down in the dumps for a short while, but eventually I get better. It seems to be a long one this time.  I want to say I am on the tail end now of this cold. My nose feels clear sort of and the hardening has also gone down.

 As far as kung fu goes I saw the small challenge offered to me and was able to do some kung fu. It was better than what I normally do which is zero kung fu. You could say I am doing the bare minimum to be in engaged in kung fu. 

 I do tend to take the more negative stance on when I am doing something positive in my life. Instead of me being happy that I’m doing some kung fu than none. I just see myself as a lazy person who could have done more. I’m praising myself for kinda trying. When I should say I can do better.

  In reality I need both. I need to be proud of when I am at least making an attempt, but also have the drive to want to do more. Doing something is better than nothing at all, but I should not settle if I am capable of doing more. 

I had mixed feelings about missing tiger challenge. One side of me was happy and ecstatic about not having to participate. I had a legitimate reason for not going, because I was working. The tiger challenge was giving me a lot of anxiety. The other side of me though was disappointed that I thought like this and missing an opportunity to be responsible for myself and getting an opportunity to be social. 

 The tiger challenge offers nothing but good experiences and lots of self growth opportunities. It is a really good event and I was happy to miss it. My way of thinking is wrong. I should feel sad or upset that I did not get the chance to go the tiger challenge, but I don’t. I’m upset that I think this way at all. Why should I be happy about missing an opportunity that would make me a better person. 

 I seem to be striving for mediocracy. Mediocracy is easy and comfy while becoming extraordinary is difficult and a path filled with challenges to make me a better me. I should rush at opportunities given to me when I get them and act appropriately when I miss out on some. It is not the end of the world if I miss some opportunities, but the attitude I take should be appropriate as well. 

I missed tiger challenge, but I could have still practiced my forms and did what I could anyways. There is always a solution to most of my issues I just need to start taking the answers and start applying them. 

  I just want to say this to everyone who participated in the tiger challenge congratulations on making a good choice and be proud of the achievement of going to the tiger challenge. It will always be an extraordinary experience that you will always have in your life. I hope I will do the same if I get the opportunity next time. I hope if I can’t make it due to work, I will be down hearted, but still wish I could have been there. 

 I am truly trying to become a better person even if my actions or blogs could be saying otherwise. I will tell you all now if I miss a blog I will be officially running away from kung fu. It is a pattern of mine that I have done before. It is easier to hide my faults and disconnection by not blogging. Because I will be trying to disappear from your memories. So no one can reach me. That what me not blogging will mean. 

So I will try and continue to blog and continue to make the effort of keeping kung fu in my life. Even if it is a bit wobbly sometimes.

  Well today blog was certainly all over the place. I had to update my title three times. I just want to thank you once again for reading this blog. The extraordinary thing of reading another persons blog is always so impressive to me. Anyways here are some numbers.

Acts of kindness: 500

Km: 400

Sit ups: 4850

Push ups: 4850

Da mu hsing: 77

Drum stick form: 108

Spar: 108

Small Victories

  So I watch a short video about a guy listing his new super powers he acquired from his weight loss. He informed The viewers he can now stand up without using arms, and that he can even hang for a really short period on the chin up bar. These small little things he could not do before because he was really overweight was the exemplification of gratitude of making progress, even if it’s little. 

  It made me think that he is working his hardest to do what little he can and seeing results even if it small. Being proud of the small results that I could not do before. I am making the tiniest progress in my journey, but I am making progress. 

  I do know I need to keep trying my best and try harder to accomplish my goals. I just got to appreciate the small progress I make here and there. 

 I did a little kung fu. I need to do more. I did have a difficult time this week, mainly due to the fact that my feet hurt really bad from my steel toes. I was limping and in constant agonizing pain, but I was able to fix the Problem. I got new steel toes And feel a whole lot better now. I’m still recovering from the pain of my last steel toes, but I’m doing better.

Well this time I have some number and thanks again for reading my blog.

Acts of kindness: 450

Km: 383

Sit ups: 4700

Push ups: 4700

Da mu hsing: 75

Drum stick form: 105

Spar: 108

Work

    So I have been off work for awhile and I always dread the day I go back to work. Not because I dislike my job, but because I get lost in it. I push away everything and prefer to only care about rest time after work and not kung fu; I prioritize laziness. 

  I get this new opportunity in Dawson BC. I am working to build a new hospital.It seems all interesting but this past week zero practice time. Zero I Ho Chaun time. I do take elements of kung fu into my life, but that is more mentally than physically. 

  The physical aspect is very important to me and I know if I keep going down this road I will run away again. I don’t want this. I want kung fu to be in my life not only mentally, but physically. 

  This bad habit of mine is screaming “just ignore kung fu everybody will eventually stop asking me about my progress or even when will I be back. I will just keep using my good excuse that I won’t be there because of work” Work should never dictate my life yet I use it to do so. Work is a convenient excuse for me to start distancing myself from kung fu and the group. 

  I “want” and “will” are two very distinctive differences. I will do the cheerleading into “want” to keep kung fu in my life, but “will” I. Honestly I can’t confidently say I will. I know I will try, but the bad habit says “will see”. I am going to try some new things like attending the zoom, but I I guess I will have to wait and see. The solution is right in front of me I just have to grab it now.

 After work my feet are truly killing me right now. I guess not really working for 5 or 6 months has an effect. Unfortunately no new numbers to post, but anyways thanks for reading this little blog of mine

Kung Fu

  My relationship with kung fu has always been up and down. I have told my story multiple times on this blog and it still baffles me today on where I am now because of kung fu.

I started kung fu because my friends grandparents got the name of martial arts wrong. He actually joined tae kwon do and I joined kung fu. The direction of my life was separated by left door kung fu and right door tae kwon do. I feel normally on that situation one would quit to join their friend. I did not. I thought it at the time to be impolite to quit after I joined. 

  I stayed many years with kung fu after the fact my friend even quit tae kwon do. I was never truly interested in kung fu at the time. I went week after week of classes of simply just existing and thinking everything that kung fu is made of is a waste of time. I had this train of thought from orange belt to 2nd degree brown belt. It took a very long time to get there, but I was just a blob moving through the motions. I knew the moves and the steps, but I had zero intent. I was a truly horrible student. I only stayed in something I despised for so long because I thought I would hurt the sifus feelings. 

  One summer I took some time off kung fu and then just never went back. I was finally released from the shackles I turned kung fu into. I was gone for 3 years and then an extraordinary event happened. My mother earned her black belt. I believed her chasing a pipe dream about getting a black belt, because I believed the school was unfair. So when my mom got her black belt and I went to her banquet I was proven wrong. She accomplished to what I thought was the impossible. 

  I had found a renewed vigour for kung fu. I started to realize what kung fu was trying to teach me finally. Everyone at kung fu was always pushing me to become better, to be the best me possible. I realized the great potential kung fu had for me. I found every form I had to re-learn and learn the new ones to be exhilarating. I no longer held myself back and earned my black belt.

  Since my mother has earned her black belt I have never been bored to do the same form or technique over and over again. It always felt new and refreshing. I feel as though I get to live my black belt life as a professional white belt. I have learned time and time again my life is better when I have kung fu in it; because I practice more often what kung fu teaches. 

  I may have times in my life where I won’t get the opportunity to have lots of kung fu in my life, but kung fu will always be there for me. My fellow classmates and teachers and friends will always welcome me back at kung fu. Kung fu is a place where I can be me. I won’t always make the best choices in life, but kung fu has helped me greatly to always find my way back home. 

   Well this was a shorter one of my blogs, but thank you for your time and effort to read my blog once again. Anyways here are some numbers.

Acts of kindness: 400

Km: 263

Sit ups: 4600

Push ups: 4600

Da mu hsing: 72

Drum stick form: 100

Spar: 108

Downward Spiral Trap and Update

   I noticed a pattern with each of my blogs. Normally I start kinda nervous, then evolves into confidence, then eventually a negative tone will take over, then eventually ends up with me no longer writing blogs. Then of course rinse repeat once I get back into blogging. 

  I think me confronting and writing my flaws in my blog is a good thing, but then I let it take control. I let mediocracy get back into my life over and over again. I know not every blog will be a 10 out of 10, life is good and I am pumped for life, but life is better when I focus more on it. I definitely do not ignore what is wrong, or struggles in my life, but I tend to forget easily about what is good. 

   I’m still avoiding the world and choosing to use a water bottle to hammer a nail in. I guess you could say I am getting closer on making that jump into connecting with others outside my hobbit hole. For me getting closer to going out is actively making it a possibility. I keep failing, but I am trying to keep making progress. I slowly pick up the hammer then at the last second water bottle.

  So relationship with the outside still sucks, but not all things suck. I have been making some headway on my drumstick form. It used to feel always kinda off, but now it is clicking. It is a form I am becoming more proud of. There still feels like there is still some kinks, but I’m moving forwards. 

 My push ups have turn into on the wall and physio stretchy band. I was making progress for push ups on the ground, but my shoulder started acting up. I am in no pain right now, but whenever I start doing ground push ups my shoulders tell me “not yet, Will let you do some, but if you keep this up we will bring pain”. Sit ups are going good though. Those have always been the old faithful for me. 

 Sparring is normally a lot of shadow boxing for me. I do tend to forget this one, but it is something that I have been bring back into my life. I used to be very nervous, now I’m just out of shape. I find sparring the best time to practice technique. Being quick or having longer limbs makes some sparring easier, but methodically making a plan of attack and executing it is a whole other ball game. I am not quick right now, but I remember when I was in better shape I used my limbs and surprise quickness to my advantage. 

 The power of throwing a proper round house was my favourite, because if you use proper technique most of the time people do not see it coming, because at the last second it changes. It could be a front thrust kick then last second round house head shot. 

 One of the requirements I tend to never blog about is kind acts. I find them the easiest to do out of all the requirements, next to kms. For kind acts I find every little minute thing and count it. I washed and clean the dishes. I helped clean the floors. I said hello to a roommate. I believe acknowledging someone’s existence to be a kind jester, rather then walking passed them and ignoring them completely. I do things that would make me happy if others did that for me. I have bigger kind acts I have also done. 

  It has been a long time, but I used to pay for the person behind me in drive through. Definitely not all the time, but no matter the cost I paid it. One was over $100.00 one time. I saw it was a big vehicle with lots of people and decided to buy their lunch. I will never know if they were happy or even if they did it for someone else. I just felt good that maybe I put a good permanent memory for them.

 Doing acts of kindness can be more complicated or something as small as giving a smile to a stranger. Not all acts of kindness will land for others, but it might hit someone someday and change the rest of their day or life for the better.

 Anyways that’s me blog for today. Thank you for your time and effort in reading my blog. Here’s some numbers.

Acts of kindness: 370

Km: 256

Sit ups: 4400

Push ups: 4400

Da mu hsing: 72

Drum stick form: 99

Spar: 108