Hey everyone I would just like to say firstly that I have been going through a lot of personal battles. I have been wishing bad things for myself and completely hiding behind a mask. It is really hard for me to type this up right now, but I feel like I need must.
Right now in life things for me seem to be going pretty good, I am making big discoveries in my own kung fu and my-self, yet I feel empty. I have never had a more exciting life right now and yet I feel timid. I feel like I am pushing people away unintentionally. I feel like I am super selfish when I think that I have issues when my life could not be any better. I just feel like when am I gonna grow up and get over my-self.
I have said this before, but I focus on the negative so easily, and always forget the positive.
Negatives: I am not happy. I feel like there is a void. I feel alone. I am a good liar. I hate that part the most. I am not actually ever telling lies verbally to or about someone, but I am very good at hiding my personal troubles, not all of them, but the ones I am ashamed of. That is what I lie about. I am my own worst enemy. I don't accept who I am today, and think it is all a farce.
Positives: I have amazing friends, I finally have a career that I enjoy. I have two parents that love me so much. I lost so much weight. I am a lot more healthier than I used to be. I am more of a social person now. I have never truly love my kung fu as much as I do now. The demo that I have made up has made really happy in what everyone did and accomplished in one go through. I know that the demo could still be axed or completely changed, but I at least feel proud about it; and would still like to continue spearheading the demo. I will always see the good in others and the greatest potential in others. I don't get mad at people when they clearly do something wrong to me, becasue I assume that either something is not right in there life right now, or their are just having a bad day.
See I know my positives yet I really have a hard time ignoring the negatives.
I am sorry for more negativity from me. I am pretty much just being a big baby, and I should start to realize just how good I really have it. You all have always help me change and grow as a better person. I don't know what my life would be like if I was not in kung fu or the I Ho Chuan team.
The true meaning of the I Ho Chuan for me is the people and the lives we change everyday. So I just want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart. You all mean so much to me and I sincerely hope you all have great lives and continue on this amazing journey we all have embarked on.
Well hopefully in my next blog I won't be so gloomy, but I guess I will see you all next time.
Sifu. R Langner
Sunday, 26 June 2016
Sunday, 12 June 2016
Horse Lessons
Hello everyone I have gotten a little sick after yesterday at the horse seminar. It started to rain and hail and we all decided to stay and tough it out. It was a blast I would choose to be sick over an over again to have the experience we had that day.
We got to learn not just how to handle a horse, but how to handle ourselves. One of the biggest lessons I took was be conscious of our energy that we put out there, because the horse will pick up on whatever energy's you are giving and react to them. If you are nervous and panicked the horse will most likely feel uncomfortable around you. If you project confidence and leadership the horse was more likely to respond to you in a positive manner and easy to handle.
Now I know we were using very well trained horses, but I think it still applie's. I think I should also adapt this attitude for myself and start projecting confidence in what I am doing and hopefully project some leadership.
I would maybe talk more about this, but my head is just pounding right now. So I am going to take a little nap.
Remember every one stay extraordinary.
Sifu R. Langner
We got to learn not just how to handle a horse, but how to handle ourselves. One of the biggest lessons I took was be conscious of our energy that we put out there, because the horse will pick up on whatever energy's you are giving and react to them. If you are nervous and panicked the horse will most likely feel uncomfortable around you. If you project confidence and leadership the horse was more likely to respond to you in a positive manner and easy to handle.
Now I know we were using very well trained horses, but I think it still applie's. I think I should also adapt this attitude for myself and start projecting confidence in what I am doing and hopefully project some leadership.
I would maybe talk more about this, but my head is just pounding right now. So I am going to take a little nap.
Remember every one stay extraordinary.
Sifu R. Langner
Sunday, 5 June 2016
Energy Level
Hello everyone I just want to say real quick that the parade was a huge success and I am so happy to see everyone that participated. I think for me this was one of best parades to date. Mainly for me is not just the float, but how many people showed up and had a super fun day.
Ok now the blog I have missed a few, and that's what this blog is about; a little bit. Mainly my kung fu though. When I was younger I did not like kung fu and if anything I hated it. I would make up excuses on why not to go to kung fu. I usually felt pretty tired and just wanted to do nothing and not go to kung fu. Which eventually lead me to quitting kung fu; really bad decision for me there. I saw no value.
What I did not realize yet is all the opportunity's that our kung fu provided for me. Kung fu helped me develop self-confidence, social skills, leadership skills, new friends, and new and improved me. It was a program (if you chose to use it) to change the very way you live for the better.
Now recently my energy levels have been where they used to be when I hated kung fu, but this time I am not in the spot of hating kung fu, but right now I know the value, but still make the same decision way back then. It kinda scares me knowing I can so easily slip back into bad habits.
I guess it is so easy to slip back into it, because it goes down hill and when you have worked your way to the top it sometimes easier to roll back down a bit; wrong choice.
I have been working on becoming more involved with my kung fu again, becasue I am still learning and making leaps and bounds in my life thanks to kung fu. The ironic thing for me aboout the low energy is before kung fu I feel no motivation, but when I go to kung fu I become full of energy and excited for what the future holds for me in my kung fu life.
Well that my rant for now so remember everyone stay extraordinary.
Sifu R. Langner
Ok now the blog I have missed a few, and that's what this blog is about; a little bit. Mainly my kung fu though. When I was younger I did not like kung fu and if anything I hated it. I would make up excuses on why not to go to kung fu. I usually felt pretty tired and just wanted to do nothing and not go to kung fu. Which eventually lead me to quitting kung fu; really bad decision for me there. I saw no value.
What I did not realize yet is all the opportunity's that our kung fu provided for me. Kung fu helped me develop self-confidence, social skills, leadership skills, new friends, and new and improved me. It was a program (if you chose to use it) to change the very way you live for the better.
Now recently my energy levels have been where they used to be when I hated kung fu, but this time I am not in the spot of hating kung fu, but right now I know the value, but still make the same decision way back then. It kinda scares me knowing I can so easily slip back into bad habits.
I guess it is so easy to slip back into it, because it goes down hill and when you have worked your way to the top it sometimes easier to roll back down a bit; wrong choice.
I have been working on becoming more involved with my kung fu again, becasue I am still learning and making leaps and bounds in my life thanks to kung fu. The ironic thing for me aboout the low energy is before kung fu I feel no motivation, but when I go to kung fu I become full of energy and excited for what the future holds for me in my kung fu life.
Well that my rant for now so remember everyone stay extraordinary.
Sifu R. Langner
Sunday, 1 May 2016
Pandamonium
Hello everyone I just wanted to talk about Pandamonium and what it means to me. For me Pandamonium was always an opportunity to get to live in the moment to the fullest without any interruptions. Also an unique experience to have; and many miracles happen all in 24 hours. Now Pandamonium is still all these things to me, but I realized I never truly understood what Pandamonium was all about. I got lost in myself and my own experiences I forgot to think of why I was participating.
For a Pandamonium day for me it went a little like this. kung fu, event, event, kung fu, event, miracle, new friend, fun, kung fu, food, kung fu, rest, ice, kung fu, charity, kung fu, event, food, laughter, water, pain, almost there, big finish, done. You see I barely even notice the charity, and that is on me.
After when I went to Alabama last year I realized that our Pandamonium was our own little Greensboro project, but with way more resources. We have all theses charity's that we are trying to make a difference in, but for some reason I feel it has become the after thought of the day. Pandamonium happens, we all have a great time, then most of us move on with our lives. With this I think a lot of us including me miss the point of Pandamonium. I personally think I have about 50% of it for sure, but the other half is the charity side that I normally don't think to much about.
This is a huge portion of why the Pandamonium is held in the first place. We are trying to raise awareness and change the lives of the people or animals in our charity's. Inspire others to become passionate about the charity's we support; in return hopefully they inspire others and so on. This whole event is all about Northern Lights Wildlife Wolf Center, Children's Ability Fund, SCARS - Second Chance Animal Rescue Society, Atsikana Pa Ulendo - Malawi Girls on the Move, Healing Hands. All of these charity's have been chosen pacifically, becasue these charity's are actually making a difference with the money that is donated to them.
I still need to learn a lot more about our charity's, but I will say this, this Pandamonium coming up remember to think of the reasons why are you participating? Are you trying to change your self ? Are you trying to make a difference? Or are you trying to learn empathy and passion? Or to inspire and raise awareness? because on Pandamonium day I think all of these thing should happen, but the one most forgotten is the charity. I am partially to blame for that.
So next time you go to the kwoon pick up a Pandamonium sheet and read the reason why we hold Pandamonium and possibly become more involved with just one charity. Then I believe we can make all the difference in the world. Here are all the links to the charity's and I urge you to check them out, because if you ever wanted to be apart of something great; this is definitely one of them. Unfortunately I don't think there is a website for helping hands, but you can still read some of it on the Pandamonium sheets.
http://www.northernlightswildlife.com/
http://www.childrensabilityfund.ca/
http://www.scarscare.org/
http://malawigirlsonthemove.com/
So remember everyone stay extraordinary.
Sifu R. Langner
For a Pandamonium day for me it went a little like this. kung fu, event, event, kung fu, event, miracle, new friend, fun, kung fu, food, kung fu, rest, ice, kung fu, charity, kung fu, event, food, laughter, water, pain, almost there, big finish, done. You see I barely even notice the charity, and that is on me.
After when I went to Alabama last year I realized that our Pandamonium was our own little Greensboro project, but with way more resources. We have all theses charity's that we are trying to make a difference in, but for some reason I feel it has become the after thought of the day. Pandamonium happens, we all have a great time, then most of us move on with our lives. With this I think a lot of us including me miss the point of Pandamonium. I personally think I have about 50% of it for sure, but the other half is the charity side that I normally don't think to much about.
This is a huge portion of why the Pandamonium is held in the first place. We are trying to raise awareness and change the lives of the people or animals in our charity's. Inspire others to become passionate about the charity's we support; in return hopefully they inspire others and so on. This whole event is all about Northern Lights Wildlife Wolf Center, Children's Ability Fund, SCARS - Second Chance Animal Rescue Society, Atsikana Pa Ulendo - Malawi Girls on the Move, Healing Hands. All of these charity's have been chosen pacifically, becasue these charity's are actually making a difference with the money that is donated to them.
I still need to learn a lot more about our charity's, but I will say this, this Pandamonium coming up remember to think of the reasons why are you participating? Are you trying to change your self ? Are you trying to make a difference? Or are you trying to learn empathy and passion? Or to inspire and raise awareness? because on Pandamonium day I think all of these thing should happen, but the one most forgotten is the charity. I am partially to blame for that.
So next time you go to the kwoon pick up a Pandamonium sheet and read the reason why we hold Pandamonium and possibly become more involved with just one charity. Then I believe we can make all the difference in the world. Here are all the links to the charity's and I urge you to check them out, because if you ever wanted to be apart of something great; this is definitely one of them. Unfortunately I don't think there is a website for helping hands, but you can still read some of it on the Pandamonium sheets.
http://www.northernlightswildlife.com/
http://www.childrensabilityfund.ca/
http://www.scarscare.org/
http://malawigirlsonthemove.com/
So remember everyone stay extraordinary.
Sifu R. Langner
Monday, 25 April 2016
Self Reflection
Hello everyone I just want to say I am sorry to you and myself for
not making the effort to make it to classes. I have been making
excuses and letting those excuses do the thinking for me. Some of the
ones I have missed were legit ones, but that's like maybe one or
two. I have missed going to kung fu and my classes.
I have gained weight, and I am not in the best of shape anymore, and I am doing nothing about it. For me I am letting these things control me to much. I personally feel ashamed that I have let myself get like this.
For some who may not know I used to be 310 lbs and then I lost 100 lbs, and now I am around 230lbs. So weight for me has always been a struggle. I worked hard last time to lose all of that weight, but last time I was not injured. so This time around should not be that hard since I know everything I need to do to accomplish it, but I don't do it.
Because of all this I have been feeling a little down, and afraid to go back, becasue I am not as good as I used to be; but who is when they get older. Again these are all just excuses I have been hiding behind and need to stop. These excuses used to be where I was very comfortable for majority of my life.
I know the easy solution is to just start going to kung fu and show up; which it is, but I still hesitate.
I always assume the worst out of myself; I know I am a huge pessimist who is trying to become more optimistic. I realized I am a huge pessimist, when me, Dan, and, Mel were just playing some crib and Mel said "the way things are going we might all win one"(paraphrasing). I instantly said "no that makes us all losers, becasue we did not try and we let each other win one". When that was not the way she met at all. I was being sarcastic, but still I went negative.
I am a person who thinks harshly of himself, and highly of others, and it is a flaw of mine I need to change. I always see the amazing in others lives, and usually nothing in my own. It is not that I am not aware of the good things in my life; I just don't focus on them when I should be doing that.
Anyways enough of my belly aching and I just want to let you all know I will change and this will happen. For one thing I know is that kung fu and the I Ho Chuan has changed my life for the better on more than one occasion and I have faith that it will do it again I just need to put in the effort.
Until next time remember everyone stay extraordinary, and I will take a little of my own quote too.
Sifu R. Langner
I have gained weight, and I am not in the best of shape anymore, and I am doing nothing about it. For me I am letting these things control me to much. I personally feel ashamed that I have let myself get like this.
For some who may not know I used to be 310 lbs and then I lost 100 lbs, and now I am around 230lbs. So weight for me has always been a struggle. I worked hard last time to lose all of that weight, but last time I was not injured. so This time around should not be that hard since I know everything I need to do to accomplish it, but I don't do it.
Because of all this I have been feeling a little down, and afraid to go back, becasue I am not as good as I used to be; but who is when they get older. Again these are all just excuses I have been hiding behind and need to stop. These excuses used to be where I was very comfortable for majority of my life.
I know the easy solution is to just start going to kung fu and show up; which it is, but I still hesitate.
I always assume the worst out of myself; I know I am a huge pessimist who is trying to become more optimistic. I realized I am a huge pessimist, when me, Dan, and, Mel were just playing some crib and Mel said "the way things are going we might all win one"(paraphrasing). I instantly said "no that makes us all losers, becasue we did not try and we let each other win one". When that was not the way she met at all. I was being sarcastic, but still I went negative.
I am a person who thinks harshly of himself, and highly of others, and it is a flaw of mine I need to change. I always see the amazing in others lives, and usually nothing in my own. It is not that I am not aware of the good things in my life; I just don't focus on them when I should be doing that.
Anyways enough of my belly aching and I just want to let you all know I will change and this will happen. For one thing I know is that kung fu and the I Ho Chuan has changed my life for the better on more than one occasion and I have faith that it will do it again I just need to put in the effort.
Until next time remember everyone stay extraordinary, and I will take a little of my own quote too.
Sifu R. Langner
Sunday, 10 April 2016
The Art of Balance
Hello everyone I have been having a little issue with balance in my life right now. When I obtain a "balance" I function pretty well and things tend to go on the up and up for me. Sometimes though I upset the balance I achieved; to strive for the extraordinary. Once I have destroyed my balance I have a hard time getting it back and I start going into my old bad habits that I eliminated when I had balance.
For example before I went to school to become an electrician I had pretty decent balance. I was engaged with my kung fu , I worked, had a good social life, and even some decent down time to rest. To me this was a nice balance.
Once I started school I made the conscious decision to throw off my balance and I stopped doing kung fu almost all together. I was not showing up for classes and not practicing at all. For this action I had done there were consequences. One I became the top student in my class and got 91% on my A.I.T exam. Which I am glad I did focus so much on, becasue this will be my future. Now I have a job working 5 days a week for Canadian power pac; I am pretty happy about this.
But now I am done school and trying to revive my old balance I used to have, but because I upset my balance I awoke my own bad habits that I thought were gone. Procrastination, laziness, eating to much, nervousness, and scared.
For me these things used to be the bread and butter of the type of person I used to be, and for me it took a long time to get rid of these bad traits of myself. Now I am not saying I am full blown like that now, but I saw everyone of these traits of mine creep back up on me.
I know how to get rid of these traits of mine, because I have done it before, but I am still a bit flustered of the situation.
If anything I learned about balance is that it is hard to mastery, but not impossible, it's hard to maintain, but not impossible. Sometimes you have to break the balance to do something amazing, but all I really know is that balance will always be there if you want it to be, so you might not ever need to stop having a balanced life to achieve a goal, but for me I am still figuring it out. Most likely I will be trying to figure it out for the rest for my life and I am okay with that. It just means my life in the future will be hopefully exciting and fun.
Anyways that's my view on the art of balance. So remember everyone stay extraordinary.
Sifu R. Langner
For example before I went to school to become an electrician I had pretty decent balance. I was engaged with my kung fu , I worked, had a good social life, and even some decent down time to rest. To me this was a nice balance.
Once I started school I made the conscious decision to throw off my balance and I stopped doing kung fu almost all together. I was not showing up for classes and not practicing at all. For this action I had done there were consequences. One I became the top student in my class and got 91% on my A.I.T exam. Which I am glad I did focus so much on, becasue this will be my future. Now I have a job working 5 days a week for Canadian power pac; I am pretty happy about this.
But now I am done school and trying to revive my old balance I used to have, but because I upset my balance I awoke my own bad habits that I thought were gone. Procrastination, laziness, eating to much, nervousness, and scared.
For me these things used to be the bread and butter of the type of person I used to be, and for me it took a long time to get rid of these bad traits of myself. Now I am not saying I am full blown like that now, but I saw everyone of these traits of mine creep back up on me.
I know how to get rid of these traits of mine, because I have done it before, but I am still a bit flustered of the situation.
If anything I learned about balance is that it is hard to mastery, but not impossible, it's hard to maintain, but not impossible. Sometimes you have to break the balance to do something amazing, but all I really know is that balance will always be there if you want it to be, so you might not ever need to stop having a balanced life to achieve a goal, but for me I am still figuring it out. Most likely I will be trying to figure it out for the rest for my life and I am okay with that. It just means my life in the future will be hopefully exciting and fun.
Anyways that's my view on the art of balance. So remember everyone stay extraordinary.
Sifu R. Langner
Sunday, 3 April 2016
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