Step 2

So this week went a little better but not perfect. I had some help to accomplish more this week. I got to go to kung fu and it all started from a little help from a simple text and everyone's support. What I have learned is that now that I have a plan and a way to enact the plan; it is time for some follow through, action, execution. No plan will succeed if you don't start trying to do something.
  I am still trying and struggling a bit, but it does not seem as hard before. It is still going to be a long journey for me to try become more active and more motivated in my life, but I guess in life your journey is always growing and evolving.
  Also I just finished a school learning test that is done by a psychologist. So I learned that 100 means your average, but kinda smart, and 120 means your a genius. So my scores were for math 108 and 113 so pretty good there. I had one kinda low score at 84 for pronouncing fake words. Apparently there is a system to say words correctly even if it is made up. What surprised me the most was the essay I wrote in 10 minutes(essay was about kung fu); the score I got for that was 148. Shocked the heck out of me, but what the psychologist found out is that I have a low level of ADHD. I have been diagnose this before, but last time they diagnose me they said I had full blown ADHD. Which I did not believe and proved them wrong. Apparently though even low levels of ADHD can have a huge impact on my life. Like for example if I am really interested in something and motivated to accomplish it I will do so very easily, but if I show no motivation or even not a lot of interest like my own well being I will struggle with trying to focus on it and be easily distracted and become unmotivated. Also found out that is effects my short term memory. So basically I found out why it is so easy for me sometimes to make the bad decision verses the right decision.
  I am not gonna blame everything that has happen to me on this low level of ADHD, but it does help knowing why I make some of the choices I have made in life.
 Anyways I will see you all next time so remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary actions.

Sifu R. Langner

The Comfy Space

 I am really struggling right now. I don't know how else to put it other that I am really struggling. I live in my world where I want change, but I do nothing. My LifeRPG was really good, but I was not I failed completing some task I set for myself, but I did complete some. I studied some Japanese and did some running for 2 days, did my push ups and sit ups for 2 days, but failed to go to kung fu. I tried to set my goals and task to not be to harsh to handle, but I fall back into default mode. I have 30 mins of running Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I study Japanese for 30 mins on the same days and I was doing 50 counter push ups and 150 sit ups.
  I live my life in a space that is comfy, but has no potential for change or growth. If anything right now I barely felt like writing this blog, but I am writing this blog right now because I feel like this is my last saving hope. It is my doorway to being apart of some change I could become. I feel as though I am giving up on my own life. I don't care what happens to me, I feel as though I am slowly fading away. I try to bring myself out of this state, but it is so tempting to me to stay in that life, because it requires minimal effort to live.
  I really do contemplate the value of my life all the time and how poorly I treat myself and why do I keep trying when I keep giving up. It's so frustrating. I want to be apart of change, I want to become change, I want to start change, but no will to do it. I stick to my little comfy space and I end up accomplishing a whole lot of nothing. The hole I dig myself keeps getting deeper and deeper, and it is getting harder and harder to climb back out. I am sorry, I seem to do a lot of complaining on here.
  Well I guess that is all I will write for now, I guess I am gonna try again this week, but I don't know if I can do it.Hopefully the next one I write is better.


Sifu R. Langner

Step 1

Hello everyone I hope you are having a good time right now. I have been working a lot of ot lately. It is all voluntary ot, but I am doing this to show my worth to the company and in hopes of them not wanting to lay me off. I show my worth through not only staying for ot if needed, but I have been working hard to do good work and learn as much as I can. They are not currently struggling to give me work, but I am just trying to solidify a good foundation. Currently right now I do feel pretty good about my job and how safe it is, but I know it can change in an instant. I am trying to focus on the positives.
 Anyways to the real reason why I am writing this blog. I have downloaded an app that is a planner, but it is called LifeRPG. It pretty much makes your normal planner things like appointments, or goals, or events into missions. If you complete the missions you get experience and jewels. For me this app looks interesting because I am a huge gamer and this turns my life kinda into a game.
  Now it is only and fancy planner, but with a twist, but I though I would give it a try, because I can set up goals to achieve, and missions to do that will notify me when I have yet to complete them. The app also track how much time I have in my day to complete all my missions.So I am really looking forward to seeing how this will work for me. I think I will be able to do it. I am honestly excited about playing a game called my life.
 This app LifeRPG is my step one at getting out of a rut. It helps me put a face to my goals and what time I actually have to complete them. I have been wanting to accomplish so much and wanting to do so much, but I never got organized, or ever took that first step. I have been making plans to get a schedule for myself for the longest time yet never doing it and now I am taking my first step towards the extraordinary. Also one of the first mission I completed was write a blog yeah lvl 2 here I come.

Remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary actions.

Sifu R. Langner

Smile

 Before I start I just want to say how much fun I had at the Onaway parade. It was fun like always and we got to win 1st place back to back. Which is pretty cool.
   Now in my life I have have become accustom to not smiling a lot. Now I know what you might think, but Randy I have seen you smile a lot before. Well yes and no. When I am with friends it is easy to smile, when I am with family it is easy to smile, but when I am by myself I don't smile at all. I spend a lot of time by myself. I could watch something hilarious, but won't find the need to laugh or smile. I have had friends in my past and all the way to the present, but I did not hang out with them all the time maybe once or twice a week, and on good months multiple times in a week. Growing up my parent worked a lot to help give me the future I have now and I am grateful for that, but I was alone for a good portion of my life. I do not blame my parents for any of my alone time, but I did nothing to stop it either.
   What I have difficultly in doing is smiling when it is called for. For example being friendly to someone, or someone smiles at you and normally you smile back. What happens for me is I either don't smile at all so I kinda look like a jerk, or I think I am smiling, but in reality I am barely smirking. I used to not smile a lot as a kid either, but I have definitely improved since then.
    When I have successfully smiled at others when appropriate I found the action difficult and embarrassing. My cheeks always feel so heavy whenever I try to smile. Then one day I was told it is like any other muscle you have, if you never practice you never get any better at it and won't build muscle. So I guess you could say I kinda practice smiling now; not always in public, but mostly at home. It still feels weird to do, but I guess it is better then walking with a depressed or doom and gloom look on my face all day. Also I am not trying to fake it, I just want to be more approachable, if someone were to need help or if they wanted to become friends. It is kinda difficult to explain my goal, because I do have realistic expectation from what I am just having a hard time explaining it.
    I would definitely say most of my smiling happens at kung fu. It is the one place where I am the happiest. Mainly because of the people in Kung fu that make me happy. This might be one of my more weirder blogs I have written, but I guess this helps me writing all this down for me to see.
I will end it here so remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary actions.


Sifu. R. Langner

Pandamodium 24 Hours of Greatness

Firsts things first I am sorry for not blogging regularly. Also I am sorry I could not make some classes and parades. I am sure you all had a blast. I have just being going to appointments for my mental health and I did not inform you all. So once again I am sorry for not being as vocal as to why I have been missing some events. But I am glad I did not have to miss one event, and that was panadmodium.
 Every year it comes new and cherished memory's are made for everyone. Awareness it raised and new and old friendships are made or strengthen. I decided this year to do the all 24 hours challenge again; it's my third time. Which by the way I got to enjoy with my good buddy Dan. All 24 hours is a task that ask a lot from you, but you never regret it by the time your done the day. You get to see people you never meet at kung fu normally, and you get to practice a whole lot of kung fu, and see people you have not seen for a long time. You also get to experience new and wonderful moment in that time your there.
  Probably the most favorite thing I did at the Pandamodium was getting to practice drumming. I have always wanted to learn more on drumming and that is exactly what I got. If I had to relive a moment in my life I would choose the time I was drumming that day. It filled me with such joy.
  I would say every hour of the Panadamodium has it's unique experience and not everybody get to enjoy it do to some circumstances. I will say this year was a little more quieter then others, but the energy and people that attended made it feel like a success. I believe there is always room for doing better, but when action still take place in my books something has been achieved and now we look towards the future to make things greater.
  I would highly recommend more people trying to attend the full 24 hours of the pandamodium. Even if it is only once. We all have a whole year to plan for the next one and I hope to see ton's of people try all 24 hours. Like I said it does take a toll on the body, but I can assure anyone, you might get addicted to it and try a few more times. Doing all 24 hours requires some planning and discipline. In the end you will get something out of it and you will remember it for a very long time.

Well I have blogged enough for now so remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary action.


Sifu R. Langner

Kung Fu

Hello everyone It has been awhile and I am sorry for that. I have been thinking a lot about what is my next step in life right now is gonna be. I worried and crammed to finish school, then I had no job, and at was job hunting for a week, then I get a job with really strange shifts. I am told they will become normal soon enough, but just need to adjust for 2 weeks. I think myself incredibly lucky yo have not only found a job, but found a job in what I want to do in life as a career; an electrician.
  Then I start to think what am I gonna do in my kung fu life. I would have to say this year in I ho chaun has been a hard one for me to stay engaged with my kung fu. I still love it and know the wonderful opportunity's kung fu provides me, yet I do not take them. I have gain quite a bit if weight since my school days. Which has made doing the kung fu I love harder for me.
  I guess you could say I have lost motivation to continue to strive for better things for myself in kung fu. I won't quit though because I already made that mistake once. I like to think that I have it under control in what I want to do in life and kung fu, but what I lack is action. I wake up tired and unmotivated to want to do anything, but in the back of my mind I know I should do something. Then what ends up winning is the side that did not want to do anything, because I am to tired.
 Kung fu has taught me so many valuable lessons, that I just can't give up on something that has truly changed my life for the better. I have great friends I hang out with, and have amazing family of other martial artists that want to achieve the extraordinary. My life goal is to achieve the extraordinary and in order to so I went back to basics and thought what does kung fu mean, it means HARD WORK. It is just two words hard work, but the power behind these words could change your life. Most people are just not naturally good at something. Most of the time they became really good or accomplished something all through the power of working hard. Almost everything we have today in our society  was built around hard work of people, who were willing to do the hard work to accomplish the extraordinary.
  I vow to start working hard in my life and my kung fu and start using the tools around to become the best martial artist I can become. That is it for now so remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary action.


Sifu R. Langner

Progressing Wisely

Hello everyone I am almost done my schooling. Last week, then back to normal life. There have been some things I have learned about myself. I learned that when I want to get something done I put everything I have into the goal, and forget everything else. It is not a bad trait, but at the same time for me it could be dangerous. I make my life an unsustainable turn and when I finish there is sometimes repercussions for the way of life I was living. It is a way of life I am used to that is not necessarily bad , but not really a good either. I have yet to learn the art of gradually doing something that is sustainable for me. A way of progressing wisely. Every time I think I have figured it out I am actually only half way there, or not at all. I know the concept, I have some ideas, on how to do it, but then I always stay in my comfort zone, and end up paying the price later. 
  You know it is times like these that I feel so blessed to be apart of kung fu and all the opportunity is has afforded me. I appreciate everything that kung fu has helped me accomplish and everything it helped me in life. I am here today blogging right now and feeling happy. All because of one small moment in my life that changed my life forever. Maybe I will write about that in my next blog, but for now I think this is not bad, so remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary action.

Sifu R. Langner