Expectations

I've been learning a lot about expectations lately. Having them and not having them.
 If you have expectations they can lead to disappointment, being let down. People can meet or supersede your expectations or fall short. Your expectations can be for yourself which could drive you to greater things, or for the people around you hoping more for them, or simply having expectations of food being tasty. Having expectations can lead to being hurt, or onto great and wonderful things. It is simply having faith in yourself or others.
  Not having expectations leads to great surprises, no pressure to please, no way of disappointment. If you don't expect someone to do something anyways. When they don't do it you won't be shocked by it. Oddly enough not having expectations of someone is exactly having expectations for them just your expectations are nothing.
In my own personal opinion I believe living with expectations will have better results. I do believe there's more pressure, and more responsibility when it comes to expectations. In the long run of things I believe if you can expect more of yourself you'll drive yourself to become better and do more things, if you expect more from your friends and family then maybe they will try more as well. Unfortunately it could lead to failure. Such as life. if our expectations are set too high and are unrealistic they are doomed to fail and you build resentment. If you build expectations that are achievable and attainable you can gain great achievements for yourself. If you build expectations within the realm of possibility for those around you they too can achieve greatness. I believe expectations can drive you to greater possibilities in life, but also hurt you. I've been hanging out with this person lately and they got hurt a lot by putting expectations on others then they failed them. The expectations they were expecting out of these people weren't that high, very doable, but the people felt such a simple task and it hurt them. Now I feel sad for them they don't want to live their life with any expectations, because you can't get hurt if you don't expect it. So when they do fail you saw it coming. I would like to change their mind about expectation someday, but that might take a bit of time.


Sifu Langner

My Journey

My life has changed so much since I came back to Kung Fu. I used to be an anti social, social phobic, anti life, and 310 lbs. I also used to hate and resent Kung Fu. I thought everything they did was a hoop to jump through. Any changes they made I thought they were just trying to make becoming a black belt an impossibility. I quit for 3 years.

 Later I realized any changes that were made in Kung Fu was to help and make a better black belts. I also realized I approached the whole situation incorrectly. I made getting the black belt a prize to be won. There goal was never to make it a prize to be had, but a journey to be on the path towards mastery. It was a journey towards becoming a better person, helping me get out of my comfort zone, pushing me to be better then the day before. Making me more self aware when mediocracy creeps in and how to expel it. 

  I now thankful and appreciate every day the miracle the fact I started Kung Fu at all. It has help me calm my anger. It has helped me become more social; finding new friends (great ones). I lost all my weight to now a comfortable 200. I do love life a more. Now I am learning Japanese. I have grown so much more this past year as well. Moving out on my own. It has changed both me and my parents for the better.
    All this was possible because Kung Fu and the I ho chuan has taught me to become the extraordinary and to appreciate the little things. I have learned to become more empathetic to others and myself. It is ok to like yourself. It has helped me in trying to stay in shape. It has helped me into always pushing the limits. It has also let me meet some crazy cool people.
   I thank you all for giving me the miracle of getting to know all of you, and for letting me grow into a better human being.


Sifu Langner

Trust

Trust is something interesting to me. There are three type of people when it comes to trust when first meeting someone new. One is the person who immediately trust you when they first meet you. Putting there faith into humanity that you are someone to trust and rely on. It's not that they are a fools to do so, it just means they are trying to see the best in you right off the hop. This could lead to problematic situations, like trusting the wrong people that could hurt you or someone you care about.Second one is the person who will kinda trusts you, but kinda don't as well. These are the people that will be on the fence thinking whether or not they can trust you. They will trust you to go do a task, but then double check that you did the task right. Not a bad thing it is probably the most practice way of trust. Third person is the trust no one type. Now this seems like it could be a really bad thing, but these are also normally people that have had there trust broken many times, so it is just better for them to assume the worst in you. They are more cautious for sure, but then when they find someone they can trust that person is of high caliber.
 So in my opinion none of these people are wrong in the way they trust new people. They all have there benefits to them and there draw backs. I personally think everyone has a level of trust they all give everyone when they first meet someone. I believe trust is can always be earned and built upon, but that normally takes years, months, days, or a few seconds; depending what your ideal of trust is. I believe hard work in earning trust. Unfortunately trust is also the most easiest thing to lose. You could of built this great deal of trust with someone and lose it all in a blink of an eye. Starting from scratch again. Now there is a big dilemma to trust them again or not at all. Is the person worth your time and effort to regain there trust? Was it an honest mistake? Can they learn from this?
   I think trust is interesting because at kung fu as instructors, they have to trust you that you will practice and respect others and not abuse what you are learning. Students have to trust the instructors that they are being lead down the correct path and not being lead astray. It is a relationship that is formed right off the bat that tends to not waver all the way until you make it to becoming an instructor and the process repeats itself.
  For me trust can be easily lost, but grown anew depending on the situation. I would say I am all three people. I meet some people I trust right away, most of those people are at kung fu. I am normally on the fence about people when it comes to work. I don't know if they are any good at there job, and will double check there work after there done, which in return will either build my trust in  them or diminish it. I don't trust any girl that shows interested in me. So many girls that I have met that showed romantic interest in me at all turned out to be scams. So when a girl is interested in me my alarms go up, because that never happens to me, and when it does it was just a scam. I am not even sure if I would know what it would be like if a woman did like me for real. To me it just seems like a fantasy that it would never happen. I have been burned way to many times to trust that a woman would actually be into me, but in the end I still have to put some trust out there every time, if I ever want to meet someone.
  I have lost trust, gain trust, and earned trust and given trust. Trust is so much more then what I wrote here today. If I went through everything I thought about trust it would be an even longer blog. I will end it here for now. Have a good day!!


Sifu Langner

Kindness and Missed Opportunities

So the other day I went to a bar after work with a bunch of coworkers. It's not like I drunk anything; since I dislike the taste of alcohol. I still had fun hanging out with everyone anyways.
The strange thing about that night I was refused to achieve an act of kindness. I am still counting it but it seems weird to. I offered to pay the bill for everyone; there was only like five or six of us. The waitress did put everything on one bill and I did pay it all. Then immediately everyone gave me twenty bucks afterwards. Nullifying the act of me paying for them, but I still managed to pay for one person. Unfortunately the next day that person came in with $10 and gave it to me to pay for their share. I tried telling them all that this is okay and I was okay with flipping the bill, but in the end I ended up just paying for my own meal and a tip.
I also realized I don't talk a lot about my kung fu on here. Which makes me realize how little I'm actually doing in the sense of training. Not much to talk about when you don't practice. I really do miss going to classes. I do realize that is kung fu every day in our lives. That everyday is an opportunity to practice kung fu. I think that's what blacks in my life right now. Me not taking the time to practice my kung fu whenever I have the chance. I have about an hour or two every day before I go to work. I know it's doable because there's people I go to work with that go to the gym everyday before we they go to work. If they can do something they love then I think I can do something I love.


Sifu Langner

Timing

So when I went open trading this Saturday, I noticed my timing felt all off. I would throw a front thrust or a side heel and it would feel disconnected.  Some kicks felt like I used only my leg to kick others felt like I use my hip and forgot my leg. I was able to throws some good kicks just was really weird.


Sifu Langner

The Middleman

Something happened to me today that hasn't happened in a while. I was the middleman for a dispute between family members. This time was a little different though. Normally I'm the one who has to be calming one family member down or the other. Then I rationalized and calmly speak to the other one to clearly state what the other party was trying to say. 

  This time though one family member just ask me for advice and how to approach the other person. I gave them my advice and then they followed through with it. The outcome was as I predicted. It got a bit messy, but the person did not want to make me the middleman. They were trying to figure it out on their own. After they talked to that person they called me back and said how it went and thank me for the advice. Then the other side called me and I had a good idea why. I knew their mannerisms and how they would react then I pointed them out and rationalized the other party's grief. 

  The thing is though they both felt a lot better after they talked with me. I guess that makes me feel good that I can help my family when they need it, and I know they're trying to learn to become better people.

  I just think having family members that are quick to upset or anger I got used to always being the calm one. Which is ironic when I went to school in junior high I was a very angry kid and now I try to keep my anger under control.  I try to keep calm most of the time. 

  I think that the reason why the middleman works is because the  middleman is normally a neutral party, and is trying to understand both sides. Then on top of that explaining the side of one party to the other and vice versa. It's like the illusion of the person who's in the middle has no invested interest in the dispute but they can see it with a clear mind. 

   I've already been into two talks this week that was just airing the grievances. I'm surrounded by good people who if we have issues with one another we don't let it sit in boil to get to a point where we resent and hate each other. We bring it up almost as soon as it happens, almost. we try to solve the problem right then and there and it normally ends with a hug or a handshake depending on parties. 

  Sometimes I think though the hardest thing to tell someone is the truth and sometimes the truth hurts. All I know is if something is making you unhappy, or angry,or sad and it's being caused by a loved one even if it's unintentional. It's good to let them know because they might not know what they are doing.  I've learned a lot about being the middleman it's being calm, collective, patient, sympathetic, rational, caring, understanding, empathetic, and a good listener. I don't add or say anything extra. Normally when I'm the middle man I just point out what I know, what the facts are between them, and what each of them are trying to convey, and how they feel. 

  I would not say I enjoy being the middleman, but sometimes someone's got to do it. I've gained quite a lot of good skills out of being one. 

Sifu Langner

Peanut Butter Blogging Time

I did not forget about blogging, ok maybe a little. So my engagement in my Kung Fu has gone way done since I started this new night shift job. The only days I go to Kung Fu is on Saturday. I miss my classes and the ones I got to help in. Also I keep forgetting about Monday, and Wednesday morning classes. Even as I write this blog I realized I forgot that it was Monday. 

  I did not get to stay very long at the potato bake but it was a lot of fun. Potatoes were amazing, and I enjoyed our private performance.

  Also I thought it was kinda cool that I learned there is a group of cool people that play tag every year. Reminds me of that movie about those friends that played every year for a month no matter what. Literally they tagged this one guy when he wife was actually having a baby; delivery day. Those group of friends did it so they would never lose touch with each other. It's such a simple thing but powerful at the same time.  

  One more thing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with banana in them are amazing.

  

Sifu Langner