Shaky

 I want to just start out with congrats to everyone and the banquet. To those who got promoted and to those that help put together and run the banquet.

Now for the blog. My mind is a bit of a jumble right now and I am having a hard time picking what I want to share right now. It is not that I don't know what to write right now; it is more related to I am still thinking how to say it. I feel as though I am wary of wanting to share. I will have to end it here for now. This is at least a start.

Sihing Langner

Chaos

 This is the most chaotic work schedule I have ever worked. I have worked early in the morning and then late at night and then in the afternoon. It has happened in all a week. I even skipped the two days I was going to get off to go to work. So my sleep has been put through some strain, but I seem to be good still.

 I feel good that I am working again; I really do.  What I am in the process of doing right now is re-establishing balance. I have had over a year vacation where I had all the time in the world to do whatever I want. Sort of, because I had to devote a lot of time to recovery. I eventually established a balance that was working. Now with these manic hours I work, I am truly thrown off. Work has helped me a lot mentally, but unfortunately has thrown of my Kung fu temporarily. 

I have every motivation to get my Kung fu back on my path. It is just a little difficult with the wack-a-doodle schedule at work. They have told me my schedule should be a little more main stream in a week or 2, but once it becomes manageable I might be thrown to work night shift. So many more challenges ahead to come. If they move me to nights I might not be able to go to any classes for a while, but there will still be kung fu.    

Sifu Langner

Sick

 So I am sick. I am currently going through whole days where I feel dizzy. Even as I write this I find it difficult to type. I will say so far Covid negative but that could change by next test. Besides the sickness I still am going to try and work on my 3 star form. I am not sure how yet. Even thinking for awhile about complex ideas is like a squirrel with ADHD. As I am writing I am rethinking about trying to work on my 3 star drum form. I am having a hard time writing this blog properly. 

I think I will work on my breathing meditation. It is hard to breath sometimes, but right now I am good. I might not be able to think to logically right now, but I believe a lot of value in just breathing, besides the obvious reasons.  I am breathing in, I am breathing out. 

I am looking forward to what I might learn once I start this. I have done breathing mediations before just normally not dizzy and sick. Every breath might have a cough, but I will do what I can. Small gentle breathing. I look forward to my first session.

Sifu Langner  

Getting Closer

 I have had some really stressful weeks and I started to go down a bitter path well traveled. I had to be reminded of the silver lining to bad situations. It may be a thin line sometimes, but it is always there. I am also sorry for missing my normal blog day I have been so out of whack these past couple of weeks, that I forgot the best tool to help me through is blogging.

Now to get into the blog I really want to blog about. I am getting so close to completing my 3 star drumming form. All that is left is the closing drum. I was really struggling with what move would make sense before I go into the unicorn stepping. I have finally found the move. It turns out it was a leg sweep. Thanks a lot Sihing Lindstrom for helping me smooth out the transition. I am looking forward to having a completed beta version of my form, so I can drum to my form. I have never gone on such a crazy learning experience making a form. I have made many in the past, but this one is the one I will treasure the longest. 

I have grown better in understanding Drumming, and how my body moves, and making transitions that make sense. There is a reason for why if my original forms could be lacking, it could be my transition. I would say Sai's are my favorite weapon, but this drum form is becoming my favorite fast.

Sihing Langner

Unicorn Stepping

 I have gotten to the unicorn step I will be adding into my 3 star drum form. It is definitely another challenge. I realized that the way I do the unicorn stepping is still to the beat, but it was slower than what I needed for the form. For some reason I could not think of the steps to the beat of the 3 star drum. Sihing Lindstrom helped me reconnected the steps to the 3 star beat. My issue was I was preparing the unicorn step at the clack, and I should of done it at the single thump. Once I had that figured out I started to add techniques to the unicorn stepping. 

The big issue I am having now is because I am doing every beat has a technique it makes the unicorn step a little weird. I am trying to make it the techniques make sense and have purpose. I am trying to not just place the unicorn step in my form just for the sake of  having it. I am trying to make it make sense. I am aiming for intent.   I won't lie the unicorn step in my form seems more like poses, but it is not a bad thing to have poses. I am just not really liking the transitions in between the unicorn stepping. 

It is the defining moments of the clack that seem like to me right now "oh yeah I need to do something" The flow and transition into these clacks make some sense, but I feel as I can do better. 

I am having a hard time with this form, but I am also learning so much about myself and my drumming, and even my unicorn stepping. I am actually having a lot of fun right now.

Sihing Langner  

Friends

  The value of good friends. I remember I used to think when I was younger that someone having tons of friends must have a really great life. They may actually have one, but I found myself during those younger years to have very few to one friend. I found that when I made friends they were of high quality in what they bring to my life. I found friends that  are willing to go the extra mile for me if I asked and I for them. I always got rid of the people in my life that harmed me mentally or physically. Now I am surrounds with a solid group of friends. If I could tell my younger self how amazing things will become I would. Younger me was very isolated. I don't feel alone anymore.

Sifu Langner

Working

 I have been in B.C for a week now just working for Dan and Mel. I have been helping them with some electrical at there house that they are building. I have been really enjoying visiting with them, and I never realized how much having a regular work time all the time actually help me a lot mentally. Having an 8 hour day brings me a peace of mind. Rather than just having a lot of time on my hands to do anything, it is time dedicated to accomplishing a goal. I have been feeling a satisfaction of completing work, and figuring out problems. I never thought I would miss having to work. 

I remember I used to think I cannot wait until I don't have to work anymore, and I got to experience it. It was not my choice though. I had a car accident that let me have the opportunity to not have to work everyday. It was not a fun time off, since most of the time was spent getting ready to go back to work. I did grow greatly as a human because of the accident. I also got to learn to be very grateful for when I find a job. I would not say I was not grateful before, but I would say I am even more grateful now for when I get a job. 

It still boggles my mind that I enjoy working. I believe kung fu helped me come to this conclusion. Kung fu taught me discipline and hard work can amount to wonderous achievements. If I continuously train and progress wisely I will receive results for the hard work. I see the same values in my job. I would go to work continuously and plan accordingly. I put the time and effort to do a good job and eventually I get results for all my hard work. 

Sifu Langner