Hello everyone the big day of the banquet has got my stomach twisting and turning in so many different directions. I know it is not even my black belt day and i am sure the candidates are feeling more pressure than i am, but my social phobia is starting to kick into high gear. I know most likely my demo vision will kick in when i finally do the performances and forms, but the worst part is the waiting for the actual day to come. To tell you the truth i will probably have to watch the recording, because eventually my demo vision will kick in and I won't even really remember want happened. One second i want to puke, the next, it is time to clean up and go home. I am even finding it harder to socialize just with some of my teammates, i will have something to add to the conversation and i won't say a word, because i am frozen in place. I do know the candidates are actually going to be the people who have to say there speeches, which takes a lot of bravery and courage i think. I know i would need some of that to do what they are doing, and someday i really do want to do what there are doing and maybe the pain i feel now might be ten times worse or i will try to conquer my fears. I prefer the second option, but it will be super hard, but anything easy isn't worth doing. If everything was easy no one would every need to evolve as a human being or as a person. I will get my stomach issues under control, but this is just another stepping stone i will be taking to get passed my social phobia fear.
Sihing Langner
You have come such a long way this year, it's truly amazing. Don't forget to breathe and remember that there is a circle of team mates/friends who are supporting you. Have fun and rock it out!
ReplyDeleteYour going to do great!
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day if you did your best their is nothing to worry about. Besides, we've all seen you do your stuff at the kwoon and we know you've got mad skills!