The Ugly
Well after all that happened and now becoming consumed by wanted a girlfriend so bad I began to become very much so mentally unstable, and very depressed. I also became very ashamed for being kicked out of university. I started to think that I had disappointed my family and everyone at kung fu and scared to tell anyone what happen; in fear of being judged harshly. At the same time when I found out I was kicked out of university I thought to myself I'm not completely upset that I got kicked out, because I was not happy in university and that made me feel worse.
Now that I was being consumed by wanting a girlfriend so bad, that I would feel my heart hurt so bad (literally) whenever I thought about not having a girlfriend. Then it got worse I began to feel ashamed for being as depressed as I was. I thought to myself I have so much positivity in my life and at my disposal; while others only wish they were in my situation. I have a loving family, great friends at kung fu, and of course kung fu itself. I started to think how selfish of me to be depressed over getting kicked out of university, almost losing my aunt, and not having a girl friend when I have so much else going in my life.
I guess you can say I was on a downward spiral in life it just got worse and worse. I started to not enjoy having game night with my mom and friends. I only did it because I was just keeping up appearances. I began to live life as nothing but an empty shell; life began to pass me by I was no longer apart of it I became an inconvenience to life. This is how I was thinking about myself I had so much hatred and depression for myself I shut down.
I will be ending this one here the last one The Good will be the next and again please leave any comment you might want to make till the last one.
Sifu R. Langner
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