Step 2

So this week went a little better but not perfect. I had some help to accomplish more this week. I got to go to kung fu and it all started from a little help from a simple text and everyone's support. What I have learned is that now that I have a plan and a way to enact the plan; it is time for some follow through, action, execution. No plan will succeed if you don't start trying to do something.
  I am still trying and struggling a bit, but it does not seem as hard before. It is still going to be a long journey for me to try become more active and more motivated in my life, but I guess in life your journey is always growing and evolving.
  Also I just finished a school learning test that is done by a psychologist. So I learned that 100 means your average, but kinda smart, and 120 means your a genius. So my scores were for math 108 and 113 so pretty good there. I had one kinda low score at 84 for pronouncing fake words. Apparently there is a system to say words correctly even if it is made up. What surprised me the most was the essay I wrote in 10 minutes(essay was about kung fu); the score I got for that was 148. Shocked the heck out of me, but what the psychologist found out is that I have a low level of ADHD. I have been diagnose this before, but last time they diagnose me they said I had full blown ADHD. Which I did not believe and proved them wrong. Apparently though even low levels of ADHD can have a huge impact on my life. Like for example if I am really interested in something and motivated to accomplish it I will do so very easily, but if I show no motivation or even not a lot of interest like my own well being I will struggle with trying to focus on it and be easily distracted and become unmotivated. Also found out that is effects my short term memory. So basically I found out why it is so easy for me sometimes to make the bad decision verses the right decision.
  I am not gonna blame everything that has happen to me on this low level of ADHD, but it does help knowing why I make some of the choices I have made in life.
 Anyways I will see you all next time so remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary actions.

Sifu R. Langner

The Comfy Space

 I am really struggling right now. I don't know how else to put it other that I am really struggling. I live in my world where I want change, but I do nothing. My LifeRPG was really good, but I was not I failed completing some task I set for myself, but I did complete some. I studied some Japanese and did some running for 2 days, did my push ups and sit ups for 2 days, but failed to go to kung fu. I tried to set my goals and task to not be to harsh to handle, but I fall back into default mode. I have 30 mins of running Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I study Japanese for 30 mins on the same days and I was doing 50 counter push ups and 150 sit ups.
  I live my life in a space that is comfy, but has no potential for change or growth. If anything right now I barely felt like writing this blog, but I am writing this blog right now because I feel like this is my last saving hope. It is my doorway to being apart of some change I could become. I feel as though I am giving up on my own life. I don't care what happens to me, I feel as though I am slowly fading away. I try to bring myself out of this state, but it is so tempting to me to stay in that life, because it requires minimal effort to live.
  I really do contemplate the value of my life all the time and how poorly I treat myself and why do I keep trying when I keep giving up. It's so frustrating. I want to be apart of change, I want to become change, I want to start change, but no will to do it. I stick to my little comfy space and I end up accomplishing a whole lot of nothing. The hole I dig myself keeps getting deeper and deeper, and it is getting harder and harder to climb back out. I am sorry, I seem to do a lot of complaining on here.
  Well I guess that is all I will write for now, I guess I am gonna try again this week, but I don't know if I can do it.Hopefully the next one I write is better.


Sifu R. Langner

Step 1

Hello everyone I hope you are having a good time right now. I have been working a lot of ot lately. It is all voluntary ot, but I am doing this to show my worth to the company and in hopes of them not wanting to lay me off. I show my worth through not only staying for ot if needed, but I have been working hard to do good work and learn as much as I can. They are not currently struggling to give me work, but I am just trying to solidify a good foundation. Currently right now I do feel pretty good about my job and how safe it is, but I know it can change in an instant. I am trying to focus on the positives.
 Anyways to the real reason why I am writing this blog. I have downloaded an app that is a planner, but it is called LifeRPG. It pretty much makes your normal planner things like appointments, or goals, or events into missions. If you complete the missions you get experience and jewels. For me this app looks interesting because I am a huge gamer and this turns my life kinda into a game.
  Now it is only and fancy planner, but with a twist, but I though I would give it a try, because I can set up goals to achieve, and missions to do that will notify me when I have yet to complete them. The app also track how much time I have in my day to complete all my missions.So I am really looking forward to seeing how this will work for me. I think I will be able to do it. I am honestly excited about playing a game called my life.
 This app LifeRPG is my step one at getting out of a rut. It helps me put a face to my goals and what time I actually have to complete them. I have been wanting to accomplish so much and wanting to do so much, but I never got organized, or ever took that first step. I have been making plans to get a schedule for myself for the longest time yet never doing it and now I am taking my first step towards the extraordinary. Also one of the first mission I completed was write a blog yeah lvl 2 here I come.

Remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary actions.

Sifu R. Langner