Foggy Will

Hello it's been awhile since I have blogged. I also realized that I missed to write it yesterday; when I said I would. I am sorry for that. I have had great life accomplishments in my life as of this month. I have become officially a journeyman electrician and also have been getting closer to my girlfriend.
   I find myself right now with a foggy mind. A state of limbo. I find myself a bit lost with my kung fu this year. I really wanted a great year this year and it all came to a screeching halt when some random person wanted to fight me. I was making an attempt to not let my bad shoulders control me again, not let my attitude degrade again. I wanted to change.
  I believe this time I am better than last time and that I have been able to keep my very negative attitude down.
  I know for a fact I will still have an amazing year because I have to believe that I can achieve this. It really helps that my relationship is going good and that, my job is going very good, and I am not in a deep depression.
  I have always had an easy time believing in others and wanting them to succeed, but believing in myself was probably the hardest thing I have ever tried to achieve. It is easy to say I will try, because now I have gave myself a possible future excuse to fail. It is harder to say I will do, because now I have made a promise and breaking that promise carries a heavy weight; depending how much you value your word.
  I for one value my word quite highly and feel really bad when I don't come through with it. I have learned it is always easy to say I will or I can, but there must absolutely be a follow through with action. Not only do I have to believe in what I say, but follow through with what I say.
   It can get dangerous if I start saying I will do, but not following through, because now I won't be valuing my word and disregarding my life, and the feelings of others. I know I have faltered om my word sometimes, but I don't want that to be me I want to be the person who can say I will do and follow through. I will become that person. I will have a great kung fu year.

Sifu Langner