Chaos

 This is the most chaotic work schedule I have ever worked. I have worked early in the morning and then late at night and then in the afternoon. It has happened in all a week. I even skipped the two days I was going to get off to go to work. So my sleep has been put through some strain, but I seem to be good still.

 I feel good that I am working again; I really do.  What I am in the process of doing right now is re-establishing balance. I have had over a year vacation where I had all the time in the world to do whatever I want. Sort of, because I had to devote a lot of time to recovery. I eventually established a balance that was working. Now with these manic hours I work, I am truly thrown off. Work has helped me a lot mentally, but unfortunately has thrown of my Kung fu temporarily. 

I have every motivation to get my Kung fu back on my path. It is just a little difficult with the wack-a-doodle schedule at work. They have told me my schedule should be a little more main stream in a week or 2, but once it becomes manageable I might be thrown to work night shift. So many more challenges ahead to come. If they move me to nights I might not be able to go to any classes for a while, but there will still be kung fu.    

Sifu Langner

Sick

 So I am sick. I am currently going through whole days where I feel dizzy. Even as I write this I find it difficult to type. I will say so far Covid negative but that could change by next test. Besides the sickness I still am going to try and work on my 3 star form. I am not sure how yet. Even thinking for awhile about complex ideas is like a squirrel with ADHD. As I am writing I am rethinking about trying to work on my 3 star drum form. I am having a hard time writing this blog properly. 

I think I will work on my breathing meditation. It is hard to breath sometimes, but right now I am good. I might not be able to think to logically right now, but I believe a lot of value in just breathing, besides the obvious reasons.  I am breathing in, I am breathing out. 

I am looking forward to what I might learn once I start this. I have done breathing mediations before just normally not dizzy and sick. Every breath might have a cough, but I will do what I can. Small gentle breathing. I look forward to my first session.

Sifu Langner  

Getting Closer

 I have had some really stressful weeks and I started to go down a bitter path well traveled. I had to be reminded of the silver lining to bad situations. It may be a thin line sometimes, but it is always there. I am also sorry for missing my normal blog day I have been so out of whack these past couple of weeks, that I forgot the best tool to help me through is blogging.

Now to get into the blog I really want to blog about. I am getting so close to completing my 3 star drumming form. All that is left is the closing drum. I was really struggling with what move would make sense before I go into the unicorn stepping. I have finally found the move. It turns out it was a leg sweep. Thanks a lot Sihing Lindstrom for helping me smooth out the transition. I am looking forward to having a completed beta version of my form, so I can drum to my form. I have never gone on such a crazy learning experience making a form. I have made many in the past, but this one is the one I will treasure the longest. 

I have grown better in understanding Drumming, and how my body moves, and making transitions that make sense. There is a reason for why if my original forms could be lacking, it could be my transition. I would say Sai's are my favorite weapon, but this drum form is becoming my favorite fast.

Sihing Langner

Unicorn Stepping

 I have gotten to the unicorn step I will be adding into my 3 star drum form. It is definitely another challenge. I realized that the way I do the unicorn stepping is still to the beat, but it was slower than what I needed for the form. For some reason I could not think of the steps to the beat of the 3 star drum. Sihing Lindstrom helped me reconnected the steps to the 3 star beat. My issue was I was preparing the unicorn step at the clack, and I should of done it at the single thump. Once I had that figured out I started to add techniques to the unicorn stepping. 

The big issue I am having now is because I am doing every beat has a technique it makes the unicorn step a little weird. I am trying to make it the techniques make sense and have purpose. I am trying to not just place the unicorn step in my form just for the sake of  having it. I am trying to make it make sense. I am aiming for intent.   I won't lie the unicorn step in my form seems more like poses, but it is not a bad thing to have poses. I am just not really liking the transitions in between the unicorn stepping. 

It is the defining moments of the clack that seem like to me right now "oh yeah I need to do something" The flow and transition into these clacks make some sense, but I feel as I can do better. 

I am having a hard time with this form, but I am also learning so much about myself and my drumming, and even my unicorn stepping. I am actually having a lot of fun right now.

Sihing Langner  

Friends

  The value of good friends. I remember I used to think when I was younger that someone having tons of friends must have a really great life. They may actually have one, but I found myself during those younger years to have very few to one friend. I found that when I made friends they were of high quality in what they bring to my life. I found friends that  are willing to go the extra mile for me if I asked and I for them. I always got rid of the people in my life that harmed me mentally or physically. Now I am surrounds with a solid group of friends. If I could tell my younger self how amazing things will become I would. Younger me was very isolated. I don't feel alone anymore.

Sifu Langner

Working

 I have been in B.C for a week now just working for Dan and Mel. I have been helping them with some electrical at there house that they are building. I have been really enjoying visiting with them, and I never realized how much having a regular work time all the time actually help me a lot mentally. Having an 8 hour day brings me a peace of mind. Rather than just having a lot of time on my hands to do anything, it is time dedicated to accomplishing a goal. I have been feeling a satisfaction of completing work, and figuring out problems. I never thought I would miss having to work. 

I remember I used to think I cannot wait until I don't have to work anymore, and I got to experience it. It was not my choice though. I had a car accident that let me have the opportunity to not have to work everyday. It was not a fun time off, since most of the time was spent getting ready to go back to work. I did grow greatly as a human because of the accident. I also got to learn to be very grateful for when I find a job. I would not say I was not grateful before, but I would say I am even more grateful now for when I get a job. 

It still boggles my mind that I enjoy working. I believe kung fu helped me come to this conclusion. Kung fu taught me discipline and hard work can amount to wonderous achievements. If I continuously train and progress wisely I will receive results for the hard work. I see the same values in my job. I would go to work continuously and plan accordingly. I put the time and effort to do a good job and eventually I get results for all my hard work. 

Sifu Langner          

5 Star Wall

 In my 3 star form I have been having a really hard time doing a proper technique sequence for when the 5 star comes in. I have been struggling and not liking what ever I was coming up with, and I think I have finally found a movement that I am mostly happy with. This 5 star has really stalled my progress of my form. It has stalled in the sense of adding new moves, and has greatly increase the understanding of the 5 star and the way my body moves. 

I have been really learning so much about drumming and my kung fu. I would find one way to complete the 5 star then I would see the faults of my choices. I had to re imagine the 5 star and really break it down. Learning the The 5 star down to it's core gave me better insights in what were  the possibilities of what I could do for the form.   I am truly having a love hate relationship with my form, and it has been so exciting what I have been learning.

It truly feels like I am on a roller coaster with this form. So much fun.

Sifu Langner 

I Am Humble

 I have always found this word very interesting. If I declared myself humble am I really humble? I have thought about this question a lot. The paradox in that statement seems really interesting to me. I have joked with my friends before about it. I would say "I am so humble, I am like the most humble person ever".  I think you actually become less humble if you brag all the time that your humble. To be humble to me is someone who does not flaunt their success, or think of themselves and the ultimate human. I don't think it is bad to have at least some of those qualities, because being proud of who you are and what you have done is a good thing to within reason. I think being humble within reason applies as well.   

In all sincerity I believe myself to be a humble person. My Aunt tells me all the time I should brag more about my accomplishments. I find myself very proud of my kung fu and my accomplishments, but a lot of my family members or friends and work don't even know I am in kung fu. When a by chance event happens where I am asked, I will tell them I am in kung fu, but not even the fact I am a 3rd degree black belt. If the question is never asked I don't find the need to let them know. I find the more important aspect for me is the fact I am still training and growing in kung fu and who ever knows is not important to me. 

Another side of being humble is how humbled I feel when I teach or learn at kung fu. I can learn so much about kung fu through those who are entering the kung fu world. I also get to learn that the people who have been doing kung fu much longer than me have such deep insights about kung fu. I realize I still have a very long way to go. I get humbled when I see someone younger than me at kung fu can do something better than me. It let's me learn my physical limitations, and I get to see really amazing kung fu being done by the young and the older. For me being humble lets me have access to amazing opportunity's to grow. Also allows me to not think I am so much better than others. I get to see the unique perspective form old and new. 

I would like to wrap it up by saying that I know for a fact that the ideas and training from kung fu, it helped me learn to what being humble is today.  I am humble.

Sifu Langner

3 Star Drumming Form

It has been quite interesting developing this form. I had decided to define every drum hit and clack with a move. I am not sure if is the wrong way of doing it, but it feels right to me right now. I have also decided to include a single 5 star drumming in my form and it has been giving me some issues. I think as I write this write now I might have found a another approach on how to install a 5 star beat into my form. Truly the power of blogging is immense. 

  I started to think how would I ever even contrive a form for a 7 star drumming with the thought process of doing it to ever beat. Then I broke that 7 star down to individual parts 1,2....1,2,3....1,2 (7 star). A 5 star is made up of 5 beats then a clack then 7 more beats. I have been having a hard time with those 7. I think I am going to have to experiment with this, because I have been unhappy with what I had come with so far for the 7 beats. Exciting stuff.

Sifu Langner

Family

 I had a great night tonight. I was able to spend a lot of time with my cousins and uncle. I have not spent so much time with them before and they have always been a short drive away. I used to  never hang out with them because at the time they were to young to do anything with and I was in their words a giant. I finally have lots of activities that they are into and so am I. I only started to become close with them recently, because my grandfather passed away. Oddly enough his passing brought me closer to family. I still miss my Grandpa, but I thank him for him bringing me closer to others. 

I always wondered why do we have to experience hardships before we take gratitude in what we have. It is a lesson that has to be re learned, and re taught every new generation. Sometimes the older people will try and pass that wisdom on, but for the most part almost everyone when their young will ignore this golden advice. I am pretty sure I fall under the latter of not taking the golden advice when I was younger. I am just really happy right now and I hope you all have an amazing day.

Sifu Langner 

Drumming Sticks

 I am actually really liking my chosen weapon form. I am using the drum sticks I have drummed many times in my past. I have been swimming with ideas and possibilities of what form I will be doing with these drum sticks. First I thought about making a form that follows a lion dance, but I was not sure yet on how to do the thunder drumming in a form. So then I was thinking of doing a 7 star drumming form, but it seemed a bit to fast for me. Then I finally realized that I should start with the 3 star drumming.  

I personally thought it was kinda funny how I was trying to tackle the hardest version to accomplish. When I should of establish a base first. Currently I am up to a 5 star movement in my 3 star form. Having a bit of an issue in what I should do there, but it has been a lot of fun creating forms again. I am really enjoying the challenge of trying to fix my form issues. 

  I would say I am having a blast doing my kung fu. I would not say coming up with the form has been smooth at all, but I am truly loving this new trial of struggle. I am learning so much. 

Sifu Langner  

Banquet

Congratulations to the two new black belts and the black belts who got promoted. It was a really great night. Honestly those nights are a really good reset button and motivator for me. My new year truly does not change for me until I go to the banquet. I look forward to the new year with vim and vigor. Any heavy weights I have been carrying wash away with the banquet. The banquet always reminds me of how amazing everyone's journey inspires me to keep going. 

I know I might have said this before, but it means a lot for me to let you all know.

Thank you all for being apart of my life, and letting me be apart of yours as well. You are all beautiful people.

Sifu Langner

Blog Before I Sleep

I did not plan my day well today for writing a blog. I don't normally have a plan going into my blogs, but normally I have maybe 1 to 2 hours to think about it. My day was a full and busy day and I knew it was gonna happen. I had some time early in the morning, but I chose to rest. Now I have to go to bed now to get up early for tomorrow. I could try and save my blogging for tomorrow, but I would allow mediocrity to slowly come into my life. 

  So this might not be a great blog, but I have to remain consistent. If I let one day slip it will be easier to slip the next one. I am having a hard time thinking right now; do to the sleepiness, but a blog will go up before I fall asleep. 

 This blog will be my reminder to stay more vigilant for next time. Also to never skip a day of blogging. The blogging tool has changed my life more times than one. 

Sifu Langner

Kindness

Kindness is something that really makes me really apart of the world around me. Acknowledging when I give it and when I receive it. Recording the acts of kindness I find is another tool that makes me more engaged with my surroundings. 

When I first recorded acts of kindness many years ago, I just counted simply an act like picking up someone's pen. Sure it is a kind act, but I was simply just trying to play the system.  I did become aware of the little things that could be considered kind. I would write I opened a door for someone, and then immediately think "tick" another one done. I would like to say I did all these kind acts because I was kind, but I did them so I could count them. I completely missed the mark behind kindness.

  Being kind is understanding others around you to a certain extent. Seeing when others are just simply needing a smile because you can tell they are having a rough day. Feeling excited for someone when they are doing good. To become kind is to be empathetic.

 Making supper for my parents. I know it relives the stress for my father and make him happy. My mother is also happy and appreciative. I have learned from them that sometimes when I have made the supper my dad was still stressed. Which gave me the opportunity to simply ask whats up? I do barely any talking, and he just simply needed an ear. I found myself wanting to produce happiness for others. I was not looking for a "tick" nor looking for acknowledgement from them for me being kind. I just wanted people to be happy. I started to think what can I do to make them happy, within reason. 

  I feel as though I am still learning lots of great things about empathy and being kind. Doing kinds acts I have found to be fairly easy, but to be fully engaged into what I am being kind about I found difficult. I am trying to be more aware of how I make people feel, and how it makes me feel. I try to look for more mindful ways to be kind, and not make the act a hoop. Once my acts of kindness become a hoop, I need help. Acts of kindness should never be a hoop, but a ladder to greater understanding of yourself and those around you.

Sifu Langner

Mastery

Mastery is never ending. I have met people who have been deemed masters, but only the really good one's that I noticed were not self proclaimed masters. They earned the title by the people around them, but each master I have ever met has never considered themselves a master. It could be that they are just simply humble, but I believe in something even greater. I believe that they still believe that there is still room to grow.

  A true mastery for me is someone who always pursues the knowledge from wherever the source might be. A master will always take an opportunity to become better. A master remains open minded, knowing life is ever changing. A master will always certainly be very knowledgeable, but the best will normally say there is more to learn.  The tools they have accumulated in their journey still helps them to this day and even help those around them. A master will fail more times than I have ever tried.

  A true master of their craft would never know they became one, because in my mind they are still pursuing such lofty goals. The goal of a master is not normally to become one, it is something through hard work and time that eventually evolves into something amazing. 

  I know I have said before I am in the pursuit of mastery, but in reality I am in the pursuit of growing as a person, an electrician, and a martial artist. I want to excel in all 3 categories. Hitting mastery should not be my goal, but the goal of becoming very knowledgeable and using that knowledge wisely, and remain open minded for the opportunity to learn. 

Sifu Langner 

  

Demo

 It was really awesome to be able to do a form this year for banquet. Last year I did not get a choice in doing my form. I could barely walk 20 meters let alone do a form last year. The year ending has taught me many valuable lesson, and the new year looks even more promising. I do not know what will be happing this year, but I do know I am excited.

Sifu Langner

Happy New Year

 Happy New Year I have gone on quite the journey this past year with you all. I have had to rebuild myself from the ground up. I have got to see the world in a new light. Last year could of easily been the worst year ever for me, but it turned into something amazing. The miracle of simply living with more gratitude. I look forward to what my future holds. I thank you all for going on this journey with me and to let me be apart of yours as well. 

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift, that is why it's called the present." - Kung Fu Panda Oogway.

Sifu Langner