Slow and Steady

So doing my forms still aggravates my right shoulder, but I am able to use more of my shoulder. I am able to do 2 or 3 forms completely before I feel my right shoulder becomes sore. Once that happens I move onto repeating moves in the form that I am trying to work on. Normally the ones that are not heavily right shoulder based. I work on making my body flow and feel completely connected. 

When I start to work on just the moves of my form is when I focus on my hips the most. My hips give me power and flow when it is aligned properly. It is an easy place to cheat to get to the next move. 

I may not being doing a lot of kung fu, but I have been more consistent about it. Work is certainly getting in the way, but it is not blocking it.

Sihing Langner

I Did Some Kung Fu

 Normally, every week I look at the blank white screen with nothing in my mind to write. Mainly because I have not been doing kung fu. Work has been keeping me busy from going to any classes, but I still could’ve practised at home; I didn’t. I got home my right shoulder was sore so I did some Physio and called it a day. 

My negative way of thinking, and self deprecating made me want to do avoid my kung fu. Kung fu started to bring me, fear and anxiety; pushing me further away from wanting to do kung fu.

Yesterday I finally did some kung fu. I worked on my drum stick farm, and Lau Gar form. It was nerve-wracking to start, but they did it. I was out of breath and sore, but it helped. I just need to remain consistent and practice when I don’t want to at all. All I can say for right now is thank you.

Sihing Langner

Acceptance

 I feel as though I am desperately searching for acceptance. Mainly my acceptance of me. I reject who I am and not be grateful for who I am. I reject my reality and try and live in a existence that does not work. 

I need to adapt to what troubles me and use those troubles as my new foundation to build me up mentally and physically.That new foundation becomes my new opportunity’s to improve me and those around me. I know I hesitate to take this step, because I know it will be very hard for me. Although not doing either brings more hardships as well. 

 Because this is difficult for me means I absolutely need to do it. It will push me out of a negative and semi-comfy zone. 

Sihing Langner

I Need Blogging

I honestly don’t feel like blogging tonight. Which also tells me I absolutely need to blog. I don’t want to start missing blogs, because I know once I start missing my post date I will inevitably be missing more; to the point of just not doing them. 

  Blogging is currently my life line of trying to stay on track with my life. Me not wanting to blog also tells me I need to become more engaged in what I am doing in my life. Until I become more engaged in my life, my blogs will remain shallow.

  I remember when I first joined I Ho Chuan. I saw blogging to be a very difficult tool for me to use. It was new and foreign to me, but all I know is that when I was consistently blogging things eventually got better for me. Blogging helped me figure my issues out and helped me re learn to become engaged. Life was always hardest for me when I was not blogging. I never thought I would be a person who is very pro blogging. 

   Blogging has changed my life forever for the better. As much value I put into blogging I know it is just a step in the right direction; I need to do more physical steps.

Sihing Langner

Shoulders

   I have had bum shoulders before. I used to be called a T rex when doing my forms, because well I looked like one. I could not extend my arms to far without suffering repercussions. Then one day I got into a car accident and finally started to take care of my bum shoulders; with physiotherapy. 

   Now I have a single bum shoulder this time. The two differences for me this time is the first time I waited so long to get better and my flow was slightly off kilter, because both shoulder did the same thing; not move. This time I have seeked out physiotherapy sooner, but my flow when doing forms is immensely thrown off.

  I have to be careful of not using my right shoulder carelessly and hold back which in return subconsciously make me do the wrong move or hold back as well with the good shoulder. I will pull a punch with the good shoulder when it could throw properly.

  The injury in my right shoulder is actually not a major injury at all. I was making fast healing progress in the beginning of this injury, but now it seems to have plateaued. I am sort of getting better. There is no major pain but I feel a lot of soreness. It could just be the healing process. 

  All I can do is keep up with my Physio. I know it will be better someday. This time it hopefully just takes a few more months or less. Rather than me taking years like last time, but to be fair the first time I just thought I had no time and I can just deal with it. So making better decisions already.

Sihing Langner