What are blogs?

Hello once again, so where are you? and what are you doing?   
ha ha made you stop and think, which is not a bad thing, obviously you are reading my blog and possibly just killing time. But what are you really doing when you read blogs? Do you become a better person for reading them? or do you comment to see if you can help, or just liked there blog? What does reading other people's blogs actually do? Well it can do a number of things, but it is up to you what those things are. Does a blog make you happy, sad, angry, inspired, what do they do for you? What I think for me reading someone elses blog is an opprotunity for me to grow as a person and do better understand someone emotionally sometimes. So what blogs, that you read and write are just a giant bag of opprotunity for you to take advantage of. Whether you dip your hand into that bag of opprotunity is up to you, and up to you how to use it. hmm this awfully sounds familar in what kung fu seems to offer, I wonder if they have a big bag of opprotunity as well?( by the way yes they do) Reading and writing blogs is a small way of letting you figure out the small opprotunity you get to have that can benifit you. Then eventually you can learn that you are surrounded by opprotunity, and now there seem like there so much for you to take now. But as I have learn its is the smallest opprotunitys that can change your life forever. Like how my friends grandparent messed up the name of the martial arts my friend was actually taking. Kung fu or Taekwondo. Such a small thing changed my life forever. So next time you read a blog stop and think what is actually happening to you at that very moment as you read the blog or write it, and take in that opprotunity you have just taken and possibly make it great. So remember everyone stay extrodinary.


Sifu R. Langner

Hello numbers

Hello everyone, I have really dropped the ball on journalling,but I am journalling now so here we go. What I am about to share is something that first made me appericate the mircale of the small things. When I was in high school a teacher challeged our class to write to a million. Our teacher bet his house, his car, and everything he had in his bank. If we could write to one million in 6 months. We all thought "what ane asy challege easy money here we come". The rules were that we had to hand write the number down and they had to be put in this form "1,2,3,4....ect." Well we all started to write to a million that day. Much to our surprise in about a week we did not have that much done yet, I think we got to around 3200. Everyone else in the class ended up giving up and decided that it was impossible. I was the only one left to keep going. I still belived that I could do it I just had to increase the amout of number I wrote a day. I just thought they had no ambition. I ended up writing 2000 numbers a day. I was doing this during school hour; not my smartest move, but I was determined. eventually I got to 10,000 and I was thinking off giving up, but then my teacher unintentionally challeged me again. He said the last time he asked his class to do this a kid wrote up to 23,000. I was now on a mission to destroy that kids accomplishment and do it better. So I continued to write the number. As I got higher in the number it was harder to keep my 2000 a day quota; also my hand was beginning to hurt. I eventually matched the prevouis kids number, now I wanted to destroy them and make sure no one else would ever try and beat my number. So I ended up writing 10,000 more than the previous person. Now about now it has been 6 months since I started writing to a million.I decided for sure now to throw in the towel, my hand was cramping a lot, and I was not paying attention in class. So I went up to my teacher and asked him if he would make a deal with me, since no other of his students ever got as high as me ( which I think was around 33,320) I offered to give him my binder of number for $50, He thought about it, then he said ok I will give you $50. It was a bitter sweet moment for me, because I was giving away 6 months of my time that I spent on these numbers for $50. Also I had all these numbers in a 2" binder with it decently full of paper with numbers on them. That day I learned just how big a million really was and I made $50. So when I Ho Chaun said lets do 50,000 push ups and sit ups I proably had a better understanding in what I was getting myself into. And the messed up part about this the 50,000 push ups and sit ups are easier to achieve then when I wrote to 33,320. mainly because no repeating yourself. example . 31,111 , 31,112,  31,113... etc. I got so sick of rewriting the same number, but in the end I learned a vauble lesson, and if I could go back, I would probaly still do it again. Anyways I guess that's my spiel so remmber stay extrodinary.


Sifu R. Langner

Learning about Chi and my Kung Fu

Hello everyone in my black belt class I've been learning so many new things every time I go there. Sifu Brinker once said that he was jealous of white belts because everything they learn is all new to them and exciting and once you become a black belt that tends to almost completely be gone by then. For me it does not end there in black belt class it's like all the forms I ever did and all the techniques I ever did have become new again. I feel like a white belt at a black belt level thing seem new and exciting, yet I've done all these forms and techniques thousands of times already. The most recent thing were learning in Black belt class is feeling your chi in your forms. I have to tell you when I first focus on my chi while doing forms was crazy. After each form he made us to over again I felt very cold after finishing a form, but I would warm up later.
    I Also found a technique in kempo 3 that for me uses chi to great lengths. Two moves before the three deep breaths near the end of kempo 3. I feel all my chi in my stomach then I blast it out in one direction (with the double fist) then the other, and in that moment I feel really cold, but then the next step is to take those three big breaths and for me that is where I take back some of the chi I have just released. So how can I not be really excited about kung fu when I'm still learning more about myself and about kung fu. Even as I talk now I am feeling more pumped up right now like I got to get up and do it right now.
    Also another thing about chi, Sifu Brinker said before that when he does opening bow(past master  east) he is already warmed up and ready to go and his blood is pumping. I thought I try and use my chi in the opening bow, and holy cow I finally felt what he was talking about I was ready to go I was pumped; it was so awesome. Now I have not been able to do this repeatably yet, mainly because for me I have to really focus to do it. It gets me to thinking that to truly be in that moment of the opening bow you have commit everything to it and when you do you get the feeling Sifu Brinker has talked about. It's no easy task, but so amazing at the same time.
    Side note: I have yet to have a black belt class where I was not having my mind blown or mesmerized by something.
 Well that's all for now so remember stay extraordinary. (side note 2: I just realized to spell extraordinary you need ordinary lol)



Sifu R. Langner

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Part 3

Hello well this is the final installment to this blog series.

The Good

   Well now that your all caught up with what has been happening to me it's about time to hear what I'm doing now. I had a long talk with my aunt, my Dad, my mom, Sharida Csillag, and most recently Jeff Brinker. They all had some great words to say to me and I thank all the people that took the time to talk to me. During all that depressed time the one thing that kept me going was my Friday night kung fu sessions. My black belt class, Sihing class, I Ho Chuan, and even San Sao; this day was my only anchor in life at the moment. 

   I had some talks that gave me a kick in the butt and others that got me to start thinking differently. I am no longer consumed by wanting a girlfriend; I still want one but it will happen when it happens. I still feel a little bad about what happened with my university, but I can move passed it now. Now thanks to my Dad I'm considering becoming a cop; so I have a goal in life again. Also I'm beginning to live life again it's no longer passing me by anymore. To be completely honest I'm still working through this depression of mine, but I'm no where near where I was a week ago; I'm definitely in a better mental state right now. Also I know my family would ever judge me harshly, because that is not the type of people you all are. It was just me overreacting and over thinking. 

    Also now I know that all depression has merit to everyone own problems, and should be treated seriously. Seeking help and dealing with it is better then saying that your depression is not as important as others; as I did. When I first got really depressed I was silent for far to long, but as soon as I started to talk with others I was becoming mentally and emotionally healed. Again I thank those that lent a listening ear and some encouraging advice.

   My aunt is doing well my life seem to be getting back on track again. I'm no longer have the feelings I described in part 2. I have been planning over a week on how to write this blog and now that I have, I feel even lighter. With ever talk I went through I have been feeling lighter and lighter and with this blog series even lighter now. I only have up to go from here now. I thank all of you who took the time to read this little series and if there is one thing that I have learned in this month is that talking about it truly is the best way to get better. You might not feel the need to go public like I did, but for me this was the best way to let everyone know what is happening with me. I started with the private talks first and now this blog. I can tell you for sure a month ago I would not even been able to write any of this down. So with everything said this is the end of  "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly" blog series and I hope we can all stay extraordinary.

Sifu R. Langner

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Part 2

Hello well here is the next installment.

The Ugly

   Well after all that happened and now becoming consumed by wanted a girlfriend so bad I began to become very much so mentally unstable, and very depressed. I also became very ashamed for being kicked out of university. I started to think that I had disappointed my family and everyone at kung fu and scared to tell anyone what happen; in fear of being judged harshly. At the same time when I found out I was kicked out of university I thought to myself I'm not completely upset that I got kicked out, because I was not happy in university and that made me feel worse.

    Now that I was being consumed by wanting a girlfriend so bad, that I would feel my heart hurt so bad (literally) whenever I thought about not having a girlfriend. Then it got worse I began to feel ashamed for being as depressed as I was. I thought to myself I have so much positivity in my life and at my disposal; while others only wish they were in my situation. I have a loving family, great friends at kung fu, and of course kung fu itself. I started to think how selfish of me to be depressed over getting kicked out of university, almost losing my aunt, and not having a girl friend when I have so much else going in my life.

   I guess you can say I was on a downward spiral in life it just got worse and worse. I started to not enjoy having game night with my mom and friends. I only did it because I was just keeping up appearances. I began to live life as nothing but an empty shell; life began to pass me by I was no longer apart of it I became an inconvenience to life. This is how I was thinking about myself I had so much hatred and depression for myself I shut down.

    I will be ending this one here the last one The Good will be the next and again please leave any comment you might want to make till the last one.

Sifu R. Langner

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Part 1

Hello everyone I will be doing a 3 part blog about me and what has been happening with me. I have so much to say that I think there will be lots of information that will be coming your way. Anyways here we go.

The Bad

Well for me this all started in the beginning of July. I went camping with my aunt and my mother. We were having a great time, until on the last day before we were going home I woke up and my aunt was still sleeping or so I thought. Me and my mom thought it be a good idea to let here sleep in since she has not been sleeping well. A couple hours later my aunt is still sleeping, so I thought i should go wake her up, but when I got in her tent she was laying face down on the ground in a little puddle of water in her tent. I tried waking her up, but she did not respond. I told my mom we need the ambulance. After she was finally picked up by the ambulance and in the hospital she flat line 3 times. I found out about this information after she was okay. By the way my aunt is doing a lot better now. Before we went camping she was told she had an intestinal cancer, but they were wrong it turned out she had Pancreatitis and because it was not being taken care of properly she almost died from it. 

     Now after all this I come home from camping feeling worried so I decided to check my e-mail and when I do I find out that I have been kicked out of university do to my low grades. I had a plan for my second year that would of helped me increase my grades, but obviously I never got to implement it. Also I was allowed to appeal there decision, but I got that e-mail 10 days after the due date to appeal.

     My whole world seem to be falling apart on me. When I was going to university I thought I may be alone right now, but at least I have a goal I'm aiming for. Now that was taken away from me, and almost losing a loved one. For me the realization on how badly I wanted a girlfriend consumed me, not wanting to be alone.

   I will have to end this one here for now, because the next one is definitely where it gets ugly. Also please leave don't leave any comment on here till the third blog that is post.



Sifu R. Langner

Topsy Turvy

Hello everyone my life right now has been so topsy turvy. A lot of things have been happening to me, but the one thing that remains a constant for me is kung fu. Sometime I don't appreciate as much as I should, but for the most part I'm grateful for it most of the time. I'm still enjoying kung fu that's for sure and that for me will never change. By what I mean I don't always appreciate it is that sometimes I take it for granted that I have this huge opportunity for kung fu everyday of my life, yet I don't take it all the time. Maybe right now my life is getting in the way a bit, but kung fu is a opportunity for me to re focus my mind and body. Going to kung fu is the one place I feel for sure I'm doing something right in my life. Also doing kung fu makes me feel the same way. I have some pretty big decision I have to make in my life right now mainly cause there is a huge wrench in in right now (nothing kung fu related). I admit sometime my life come into my kung fu and I really feel it in my forms. For me when I'm not doing well in life my forms tell everyone(to me it feels this way), but when my life is going well my forms tell everyone that things are going good. My emotions are directly connected to my forms, because for me forms are a way of showing who you are and what type of person you are (to a certain extent) forms are a sign of your own progress in life and your martial arts. Now of course as I say all this, this is just how forms feel for me, if anyone else feel the same then great if not then great. This is just how kung fu works for me =). Kung fu will always be my rock, because it is the one constant I have, and even and I say it the one constant I have it is also always changing for me. Kung fu for me right now is this whole new world to explore and I have yet to even touch the surface of what everything it has to offer. The biggest thing also the people that do kung fu as well. I see some of the more experienced black belts and they have so much that they have gained from kung fu, but at the same time are only a little deeper into the mystery's of kung fu then I am and they are still discovering so many things about it. Of course that little bit ahead of me is still a whole heck of  a lot, but it makes me happy knowing when I am there in kung fu for longer period I will still have the same look of amazement on my face that a white belt might have when first starting kung fu. It may be more advance by then but I know it will still be there. You know even as I typed this all out I smiled. Well that's all I have for now remember stay extraordinary.



Sifu R Langner

Camping with some fun meditation

Camping yay I'm going camping in a few days and really looking forward to it. My goal for the trip is to do push ups in awesome looking places also doing my forms. I'm also gonna do a mediation I'm actually looking forward to it. For me mediation is where the intensity starts. First you clear your mind then slowly count to ten(or down) each with a big breath and as you get closer to the end of counting I can start to control my heart beat. It's the weirdest thing but I will consciously slow my heart down and feel every beat. Then I start feeling everything that my body is doing. My blood being pumped to every limb, the sensation of my lungs moving my body. After all this then I start to move out of my body and then i feel what my skin feels warm , cold, wet, windy, hot and all this information is going to my brain telling me how I feel. Also I feel the hairs on my arms and legs and head how all of them are growing just a little bit( that one make me feel itchy). Then the next part for me is hearing everything that is happening around me, the birds, the rustle of the forest, my breathing, sound of a thunder storm, a gentle breeze of gust of wind, insects flying moving around, and if I'm lucky a running river and water fall. All of these noise come rushing into my mind and I create my own world from it. Finally I decide sometimes to open my eyes and see everything all these feelings and sound now come together and pop. I see the luscious green leaves and then the cool blue water and the birds( if there was any) the moist soil beneath my feet, tall strong trees everywhere. Everything around me exist the leaves photosynthesize, the birds collecting food, the insects surviving, and the earth moving. In the end I count down from ten (or up) and come back to myself a let nature and myself go back to it all. To tell you the truth I maybe only explained 2 mins or less worth of mediation; just as you start. I do longer ones then that for sure, but to explain absolutely everything would be way longer. Meditation is like a grand adventure yet you moved no where. How many times can you say you experienced everything in your environment once? most likely we haven't cause it takes awhile to do it. To absorb everything in what your environment offered you is pretty intense especially if you think about how every little thing was made to be possible for you to see, hear or feel it. Well that's ll for now and remember stay extraordinary.


Sifu R Langner

Making a comeback

Hello it's been awhile I have been neglecting my blogging again. I guess more apology's from me are useless now. What will say more for me now is action. What I mean by that is writing my blogs again, there was never a good excuse to why I have not been blogging, it was simply laziness. I actually enjoy blogging, it lets me refresh my head. Well now that's said let get to my blog.

I have been having an awesome time lately with the parades we been having. Both of those parades made me smile and grow closer to more of my friends at kung fu. I really wish we had more there and I missed the dragon, but all in all it was a great time. This I Ho Chuan year for me seems to be another special one for me. I seem to grow and change and learn new things about myself every year. The way I think also seems to change from year to year. This is why I should blog more often I have so much in my mind I want to say but can't translate everything I want to say. My mind just goes fuzzy on me when I try to think about how to write it all down.(lol) Anyways in our I Ho Chuan team this year I saw a lot of people do amazing forms and I am seeing how there weapon forms are changing them as well. It is just so amazing. Also I will give an update on the girlfriend thing I'm doing, still no luck all the woman I seem to find all have boyfriends. I'm starting to think that no one left is single but me (lol)I'm obviously still trying. Well I will leave this for now so remember everyone stay extraordinary.

Sifu R Langner

Broadsword

Hello everyone it's been awhile. I would have to say right now I'm struggling with my broad sword form. I have to say when I picked the form I was not expecting it to be so difficult, but I did not realize I pick a form that was almost polar opposite of me. The form has so much flow and goes a lot slower than what I'm used to. I guess a easy way to say it, this form has everything I need. I was ok with flow, but now I see it is a super difficult form that challenges for me everything you have. It may be a slow form, but it is defensively the hardest form I have ever done. I pick this form also because I wanted a safer weapon that could not injury me. So far ever year I have be injured by every weapon, so this weapon slower and duller, but the most difficult. I happy I have such a hard form for me I am learning so much about myself. remember stay extraordinary.

Sifu R. Langner

Shame

hello everyone i have not been blogging as much as i should be and i am truly sorry for this I've let you down and myself down. my excuses i could easily say is i been involved so much lately with school and everything i have been pushing other things aside. but in reality this blog takes me 5- 10 mins to write an no excuse why i haven't been blogging. i can and i will write more often, because i when i first started writing blogs i hated and had nothing to say, but the longer i have done this the more value i have seen in it. i always feel lighter or better after blogging now. it is now a stress relief for me. so when i was not doing it because of school; it was a poor excuse.if anything it most likely would have helped me more if i blogged more. Blogging for me it like having some time to just think abut yourself and everything your feeling at that moment. And i deprived myself of that extraordinary opportunity that i love most. a chance to just let it all go. im sorry for not blogging my best but i will turn that around now. i have been doing I Ho Chuan for awhile, i may have failed some things, and i have passed quite a bit of things, but blogging for me is key an one part of an essential tool for keeping me engaged in life and things around me. i always try to strive for extraordinary and blogging is the most easiest ways to do so if  you let it. so remember guys stay extraordinary.




Sifu R Langner

Forms

hello everyone another blog for me, actually lately I've been really enjoying doing forms. most likely because im learning a lot of new forms, but in the same time these new forms im learning are making me appreciate my older forms that i know now. the amount of work and sweat i had to put into learning a new form is huge. when i finally learned the whole tai chi broad sword form, i immediately wanted to improve it and change little things here and there.  i remember when i first learned Da Ma Sing i thought to myself well this is fun and easy, but now that i've been doing kung fu so long i sorta stopped seeing it in that way, but now i realize when i first learned it i did not respect it. there was so much that da ma sing could teach me so many opportunities that da ma sing provide for me. i got to work on my basics, my centering, and my flow, and so much more. Doing the tai chi broad sword has made me realize this forms are these huge chances of extraordinary little experiences. all by having a different attitude and putting more passion into my forms. i want them to be awesome, but never perfect for if my forms were perfect it would mean i have nothing more to gain from them. remember everyone stay extraordinary.


Sifu R Langner

effort, trying, priorities

hello this recent meeting that the i ho chuan had got me thinking about if you don't try or put in the effort you will be guaranteed nothing, and also about what is your priority which ranks higher in your life.
  for the trying and putting in effort one i started to think about what do i do that try and put effort in? i figured i put effort in my kung fu and my school. i really want to succeed in both so i put effort into it. and for trying things i found out that i dont really ask out to many girls mainly because i think that im scared of not being accepted for who i am and for what i look like. but after hearing myself say this i realize that i wont get anywhere with women if i dont put some effort into it. so i got to thinking if you don;t try you gain nothing but if you try and put in some effort in it you will always get a result weather it be positive or negative, at least your doing something, which is better then nothing. i have to realize that doing nothing will give me nothing, but do something will give me something. this sound simple enough, but this is for sure a lot harder to do. its easy to say but to actually do it in real life is two different things. im defiantly going to try harder and put more effort into finding a girlfriend, but not saying that it will be easy, but i am more aware of how hard im trying now.
    for where are my priorities i would have to say right now my university is top priority for me right now. i still keep kung fu up there, but i have already not attended some classes due to school, they were not my actual classes, but i see all the classes i can attend as my classes, because i always see and learn new things about myself or about other people.whenever i start thinking about priority i start thinking about balance. it good to have a top priority, but no one every has one priority. to tell you the truth i have yet to figure out how to perfectly balance all my priorities, but i'm pretty sure im not to bad at doing it. i dont think actually that someone could ever be perfectly balance in there priorities. i think that we just try to do our best and sometimes we exclude one, but then others might tell you your off balanced or you figure it out for yourself and then you adjust. this recent meeting has really got me thinking, i've heard these things before, but i never really applied it to myself and what i was doing in life.
    well if you read this far in my blog thanks for reading and remember stay extraordinary.



Sifu R Langner

Feeling New

hello everyone things still seem to be on the up and up for me. University is going well for me and im really enjoying my classes. I'm learning new things all the time its so cool. The girlfriend situation for me still going nowhere tho *sigh* but I'm not giving up. Every girl seems to be unavailable or not interested. Being a new black belt and all it feel like i've entered a new world  for me everything new and exciting. I'm seeing things in a new light i may know the technique or form, but now i look at them like its the first time im really looking at them. I know how it works and whats it for, but now im truly seeing and appreciating what each technique can teach you and what each form can help you work on. it like why have i not sen this before but either way its so cool seeing kung fu this way again, but at a different level. anyways i guess not much to say today other than remember stay extraordinary.


Sifu R Langner

Feeling good about this year

hello everyone i have been happy everyday since the banquet. My world has officially been turned upside down. also after the banquet on the next day. i felt m elbows and shoulders hurt so much., but i guess i was suppressing the pain until after the day, because my arm hurt bad, but they are better now, just some rest and there as good as new-ish. i am really excited about this yeqr because my mom has joined the I ho chuan team this year, and looking foward to seeing what my mom will accomplish this year.
     you know i am a new black belt, and i thought i would be feeling weird ( i can't really explain by what i mean by weird sorry. i tried and it confused me)but in reality i am now becoming excited and looking forward to what other might accomplish and other goings for there black belt. i want to see them succeed and possibly have a hand in it. the best way i can explain it is i feel happy that i am a black belt, but now i really want to make other people feel the way i do and help in any way possible. any ways i feel really good about this year and may as well continue my favorite tradition in my blogs remember stay extraordinary.


Sifu R Langner ( i smiled just now writing sifu in front of my name)  :) 

getting closer

hello everyone so the day is getting closer. the day we all show how far we have come and how much we have grown, and of course the black belt candidates. There are quite a few things i have learned when preparing for and actually doing the demo. For me it is the waiting and approaching day that is the worst, because normally i am always becoming my worst enemy. I always think i can't do this, i won't be good enough, i am going to let them down.  but that is how i used to think, now of course i am still worried, but now i think i can do this, i can get through this, we are doing this as a team, we are all trying are hardest to make sure that we have an awesome demo. there is no secret that i have found to help me get over my fear, it is just merely stepping out of my comfort zone, with lots of support and a little of my own strength. Performing in front of people is scary, but it is one of the only times you can show off to others what you have become. I'm worried, but i will never back down because i know if i ever do i will fall backwards. lucky for me though i have so many people to push me back forwards. when i think of this it makes me just so happy. we are surrounded by extraordinary people and always given the greatest of opportunity's. I am so glad that i get to share this experience with all of you and remember everyone always stay who you all are(extraordinary).


231 lbs


Sihing Langner

moment of happiness

hello everyone right now i feel really happy. I am do not full understand why but i do. I am going to university, going to lots of kung fu, and doing lots of training, trying to collect donations for my mustard seed charity. All this and i just feel happy. I must say i really am enjoying everything right now. I am always surrounded by such positive people and everyone is always having a such good time. For some strange reason i am happy but it feels foreign, like is this allowed for me? is this okay? to tell you the truth i don't know why this happiness i am feeling right now feels good, but at the same time guilty. I don't know why i would second guest being happy right now. but i guess i will enjoy it right now for the most of it, and hope i can continue the great feeling. Anyways i know what i write sometime makes no sense whatsoever, but maybe through writing this i can maybe figure it out. well remember to stay extraordinary.


230lbs


Sihing Langner

sick, vent, calm, happy

hello everyone i am having a feeling right now that i haven't felt since my first year in I Ho Chuan. I feel sick, i am not actually sick, but in my own mind i become my own worse enemy. with the banquet coming up my social phobia is kicking into overdrive. I know i can't succumb back to who i used to be. i did not like who that person was, that person was always scared and super shy. i am no longer like that. i know i still have some way to go, but i can't be like that anymore. it's not me anymore. i now actively try and create conversations, i now try to be more open, and now i try to actually make myself a better person. and i have all of you to thank for that you all inspired me to try and make myself a better person, you have all have made me so happy, without I Ho Chuan or kung fu, i would be no where right now. Also i would like to say one of my personal requirements i have for myself next year. i say this one before this year end because i owe all my courage to you guy, and i thought just in case some might not be returning i thought i say it now. i have always been to shy and too hesitant to ever actually ask out a girl and henceforth i have never had a girlfriend. but this year my personal requirement, my personal goal is to get myself my first girlfriend. I always feel a lot more calmer after i write a blog, reveling my stress to the world. remember everyone stay extraordinary.  



229lbs



Sihing Langner