Hello I just want to say thank you to all who gave me encouragement and nice comments to read. I really appreciate them and took a lot of what was said to heart. I had a really good talk recently and seen that I need to take care of myself and try and find ways to boost my self confidence. Also I got to stop looking for distractions in my life and start looking for things I want to be doing in my life. Now I will try to explain that better, but I could not think of a better way to say it.
I go to kung fu, I read Manga and light novels, I play video games, I play Dungeon and Dragons, Hanging out with friends. I put all these things into the category of distracting myself from my life; so I don't have to think about it. When I am alone I think of my life and become more depressed and become more depressed( I know I typed it in twice ) I have to start thinking when I am by myself what great things have I experienced today and what new wonders await for me tomorrow.
Everything I put in the distraction list I have to change my way of thinking of those things, because I do enjoy all those things I do, but after those things I do are done I normally return to my deep dark self hating dungeon. I want to turn my distractions into a fun part of my day, then when I am done doing them I continue to pursue the grander things in my life. I need to find a way to be happy with myself when I am alone.
I remember when I was younger and had no concept of self yet; I just lived. What I mean by that is when I was younger I enjoyed every new thing in life that came at me. I did not care what I looked liked to the world. I did not care whether I had a girlfriend or not; I just wanted to enjoy being me. Now that I'm older I think about all of those things all the time when I am by myself. I think about how I'm overweight, I think I am ugly, I think I am just a big whiney baby who has a great life, but does not appreciate it, I fear of being alone forever. I don't want to be in my 40's or 50's by the time I meet my first real girlfriend. I currently have a low experience rate at dating. Heck I still get flustered at holding a womans hand ( someone I might be interested in only though) Which to me seems like something that I should of gone through in jr high or high school, but that did not happen for me.
I did not have a very social life growing up. I only started to develop any sort of social life when I came back to kung fu.
Anyways I know I have a lot to work on for my self mentally and physically. I started this blog thinking I was gonna write so many positive things then it kinda went the other way, but I was just trying to say I know I have to change my way of thinking and start enjoying my life more, because they are so many grand people in my life and I don't want to be known as that depressed guy. I might already by now be known for that, but I really don't want that. I will change and I want to like myself.
Don't know how to end it so just gonna say see you in the next blog.
Sifu R . Langner
Sunday, 12 November 2017
Monday, 30 October 2017
Blue Moon
Hello everyone it has been far to long since my last blog. I will say that I have had a rough year mentally and physically. I struggle to make the good decisions in my life, and care none for the consequence those decisions hold. That was my main train of thought. I won't say I am 100% better, but I am trying to make the better decisions in my life. I do suffer from a huge lack of self worth, and self esteem. I have a hard time believing anything good can happen to me and when it does I still am in disbelief, because I have been proven many time that my hope for more for myself was just a lie. Usually it is also temporary, so I don't get to excited and just let the moment of happiness pass by because it is easier to not be hurt when the happiness disappears. I have started to make emotion a choice to have. I can still get sad or happy naturally, but I tend to suppress it, because it has not always yielded good things for me. I wish I could say I feel happy and positive right now about trying to change for the better, but I don't. I just feel like I am trying to please the side of me that wants to be better, but at the same time not caring or wanting to. If I had a choice right now I would want to stop trying in everything, no more work, no more social life, no more of my life. It just seems all useless to me. BUT that is unreasonable choice that is selfish and will affect others and people I care for, so that is not a choice, neither a option ever on the table. I guess you could say I wished I never existed.
Now I have re-read this a few times and see how bad these last few lines might have sounded, but just in case none of this was saying anything towards the side of suicide. It has never crossed my mind to do such a thing; just to make things clear.
I do feel like giving up sometime, but in the sense that I would just fade away into the wind like dust sort of thing. I never feel good about releasing these kind of blogs, because I don't know if people will take what I say the wrong way, or I might just be a big whinny baby. Well this is not a great blog to be coming back on, but I guess it is a start.
Sifu R. Langner
Now I have re-read this a few times and see how bad these last few lines might have sounded, but just in case none of this was saying anything towards the side of suicide. It has never crossed my mind to do such a thing; just to make things clear.
I do feel like giving up sometime, but in the sense that I would just fade away into the wind like dust sort of thing. I never feel good about releasing these kind of blogs, because I don't know if people will take what I say the wrong way, or I might just be a big whinny baby. Well this is not a great blog to be coming back on, but I guess it is a start.
Sifu R. Langner
Monday, 4 September 2017
Sick
Hey everyone I guess you could say I started a new job. I now work at the stantec tower. It seems so far pretty interesting, but I think I either worried myself to get sick, or got sick naturally. Either way I feel pretty bad. Working there I do feel intimated, because I don't know how to do some of the task they are asking of me and I worry of losing my job. I feel I could lose this opportunity at any second, because I learn things differently from everyone. I need to see how it is done first then I can get better at it then maybe improve upon it. When they talk to me about how to get the job done I draw a blank, because I cannot imagine what they are trying to tell me. I am the only one who does not understand on what or how we will accomplish the goal. I get flustered, because I feel useless and feel like they see that too. Then I hear some of these apprentices have been doing the trade since they were like 16, while I just started 2 years ago. I know I still have a lot to learn and in time I hope to be able to be just as knowledgeable.
I know I should just focus on putting one foot forward at a time and continue to keep trying to do my best, but I don't feel my best is good enough for them.
Sifu R. Langner
I know I should just focus on putting one foot forward at a time and continue to keep trying to do my best, but I don't feel my best is good enough for them.
Sifu R. Langner
Monday, 14 August 2017
Happy Wedding Day
Hello everyone it was quite a day yesterday. Just wanna say again congratulation Mel and Dan for an amazing wedding and a memory for life. I like to say I had a lot of fun at their wedding. I got to meet some new people and got to dress up bit; it was a truly exquisite day. The lion dance was spectacular. I saw a few people become fans of the lion dance that day. I don't actually want to talk about anything else really in this blog. I just want to live in the moment of that day for now. I remember my old self who would be scared and hiding in the basement or corner somewhere. I would be just waiting to go home, but me back then was also alone. Now I get to go to these events and share it with friends and family. I see now why people do like to do these things, because it is fun. Now I am in no hurry to start going to random place by myself, but I look forward to the next time I get to have fun with strangers and people I care about.
Remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary actions.
Sifu R. Langner
Remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary actions.
Sifu R. Langner
Sunday, 6 August 2017
Step 3
Hey so this week was just ok. I did less of what my goals I wanted to accomplish, but I also could not do to working a ton of overtime. I basically got up to go to work then came home and went to bed to sleep and be ready for the next day.
So what I learned was that I have to adapt my schedule and move it around. For me it has to be a living organism that can change and grow with me. Also I have to be less hard on myself when I can't complete a goal when it was out of my hands. I have to remember that life happens sometimes and I have to learn to adapt to it. I still made some bad decisions about ignoring some goals of mine. That is something I am still trying to fix. I either pick the bad down the hill decision vs the up hill decision.
One offers no resistance and an easy way out, but in the end I have brought myself down. While the other offers great resistance and a hard road ahead, but after reaching the end there is riches to be had mentally and physically. I just keep choosing the downhill path.
That's all I have this time so remember everyone stay extraordinary.
Sifu R. Langner
So what I learned was that I have to adapt my schedule and move it around. For me it has to be a living organism that can change and grow with me. Also I have to be less hard on myself when I can't complete a goal when it was out of my hands. I have to remember that life happens sometimes and I have to learn to adapt to it. I still made some bad decisions about ignoring some goals of mine. That is something I am still trying to fix. I either pick the bad down the hill decision vs the up hill decision.
One offers no resistance and an easy way out, but in the end I have brought myself down. While the other offers great resistance and a hard road ahead, but after reaching the end there is riches to be had mentally and physically. I just keep choosing the downhill path.
That's all I have this time so remember everyone stay extraordinary.
Sifu R. Langner
Sunday, 30 July 2017
Step 2
So this week went a little better but not perfect. I had some help to accomplish more this week. I got to go to kung fu and it all started from a little help from a simple text and everyone's support. What I have learned is that now that I have a plan and a way to enact the plan; it is time for some follow through, action, execution. No plan will succeed if you don't start trying to do something.
I am still trying and struggling a bit, but it does not seem as hard before. It is still going to be a long journey for me to try become more active and more motivated in my life, but I guess in life your journey is always growing and evolving.
Also I just finished a school learning test that is done by a psychologist. So I learned that 100 means your average, but kinda smart, and 120 means your a genius. So my scores were for math 108 and 113 so pretty good there. I had one kinda low score at 84 for pronouncing fake words. Apparently there is a system to say words correctly even if it is made up. What surprised me the most was the essay I wrote in 10 minutes(essay was about kung fu); the score I got for that was 148. Shocked the heck out of me, but what the psychologist found out is that I have a low level of ADHD. I have been diagnose this before, but last time they diagnose me they said I had full blown ADHD. Which I did not believe and proved them wrong. Apparently though even low levels of ADHD can have a huge impact on my life. Like for example if I am really interested in something and motivated to accomplish it I will do so very easily, but if I show no motivation or even not a lot of interest like my own well being I will struggle with trying to focus on it and be easily distracted and become unmotivated. Also found out that is effects my short term memory. So basically I found out why it is so easy for me sometimes to make the bad decision verses the right decision.
I am not gonna blame everything that has happen to me on this low level of ADHD, but it does help knowing why I make some of the choices I have made in life.
Anyways I will see you all next time so remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary actions.
Sifu R. Langner
I am still trying and struggling a bit, but it does not seem as hard before. It is still going to be a long journey for me to try become more active and more motivated in my life, but I guess in life your journey is always growing and evolving.
Also I just finished a school learning test that is done by a psychologist. So I learned that 100 means your average, but kinda smart, and 120 means your a genius. So my scores were for math 108 and 113 so pretty good there. I had one kinda low score at 84 for pronouncing fake words. Apparently there is a system to say words correctly even if it is made up. What surprised me the most was the essay I wrote in 10 minutes(essay was about kung fu); the score I got for that was 148. Shocked the heck out of me, but what the psychologist found out is that I have a low level of ADHD. I have been diagnose this before, but last time they diagnose me they said I had full blown ADHD. Which I did not believe and proved them wrong. Apparently though even low levels of ADHD can have a huge impact on my life. Like for example if I am really interested in something and motivated to accomplish it I will do so very easily, but if I show no motivation or even not a lot of interest like my own well being I will struggle with trying to focus on it and be easily distracted and become unmotivated. Also found out that is effects my short term memory. So basically I found out why it is so easy for me sometimes to make the bad decision verses the right decision.
I am not gonna blame everything that has happen to me on this low level of ADHD, but it does help knowing why I make some of the choices I have made in life.
Anyways I will see you all next time so remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary actions.
Sifu R. Langner
Sunday, 23 July 2017
The Comfy Space
I am really struggling right now. I don't know how else to put it other that I am really struggling. I live in my world where I want change, but I do nothing. My LifeRPG was really good, but I was not I failed completing some task I set for myself, but I did complete some. I studied some Japanese and did some running for 2 days, did my push ups and sit ups for 2 days, but failed to go to kung fu. I tried to set my goals and task to not be to harsh to handle, but I fall back into default mode. I have 30 mins of running Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I study Japanese for 30 mins on the same days and I was doing 50 counter push ups and 150 sit ups.
I live my life in a space that is comfy, but has no potential for change or growth. If anything right now I barely felt like writing this blog, but I am writing this blog right now because I feel like this is my last saving hope. It is my doorway to being apart of some change I could become. I feel as though I am giving up on my own life. I don't care what happens to me, I feel as though I am slowly fading away. I try to bring myself out of this state, but it is so tempting to me to stay in that life, because it requires minimal effort to live.
I really do contemplate the value of my life all the time and how poorly I treat myself and why do I keep trying when I keep giving up. It's so frustrating. I want to be apart of change, I want to become change, I want to start change, but no will to do it. I stick to my little comfy space and I end up accomplishing a whole lot of nothing. The hole I dig myself keeps getting deeper and deeper, and it is getting harder and harder to climb back out. I am sorry, I seem to do a lot of complaining on here.
Well I guess that is all I will write for now, I guess I am gonna try again this week, but I don't know if I can do it.Hopefully the next one I write is better.
Sifu R. Langner
I live my life in a space that is comfy, but has no potential for change or growth. If anything right now I barely felt like writing this blog, but I am writing this blog right now because I feel like this is my last saving hope. It is my doorway to being apart of some change I could become. I feel as though I am giving up on my own life. I don't care what happens to me, I feel as though I am slowly fading away. I try to bring myself out of this state, but it is so tempting to me to stay in that life, because it requires minimal effort to live.
I really do contemplate the value of my life all the time and how poorly I treat myself and why do I keep trying when I keep giving up. It's so frustrating. I want to be apart of change, I want to become change, I want to start change, but no will to do it. I stick to my little comfy space and I end up accomplishing a whole lot of nothing. The hole I dig myself keeps getting deeper and deeper, and it is getting harder and harder to climb back out. I am sorry, I seem to do a lot of complaining on here.
Well I guess that is all I will write for now, I guess I am gonna try again this week, but I don't know if I can do it.Hopefully the next one I write is better.
Sifu R. Langner
Sunday, 16 July 2017
Step 1
Hello everyone I hope you are having a good time right now. I have been working a lot of ot lately. It is all voluntary ot, but I am doing this to show my worth to the company and in hopes of them not wanting to lay me off. I show my worth through not only staying for ot if needed, but I have been working hard to do good work and learn as much as I can. They are not currently struggling to give me work, but I am just trying to solidify a good foundation. Currently right now I do feel pretty good about my job and how safe it is, but I know it can change in an instant. I am trying to focus on the positives.
Anyways to the real reason why I am writing this blog. I have downloaded an app that is a planner, but it is called LifeRPG. It pretty much makes your normal planner things like appointments, or goals, or events into missions. If you complete the missions you get experience and jewels. For me this app looks interesting because I am a huge gamer and this turns my life kinda into a game.
Now it is only and fancy planner, but with a twist, but I though I would give it a try, because I can set up goals to achieve, and missions to do that will notify me when I have yet to complete them. The app also track how much time I have in my day to complete all my missions.So I am really looking forward to seeing how this will work for me. I think I will be able to do it. I am honestly excited about playing a game called my life.
This app LifeRPG is my step one at getting out of a rut. It helps me put a face to my goals and what time I actually have to complete them. I have been wanting to accomplish so much and wanting to do so much, but I never got organized, or ever took that first step. I have been making plans to get a schedule for myself for the longest time yet never doing it and now I am taking my first step towards the extraordinary. Also one of the first mission I completed was write a blog yeah lvl 2 here I come.
Remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary actions.
Sifu R. Langner
Anyways to the real reason why I am writing this blog. I have downloaded an app that is a planner, but it is called LifeRPG. It pretty much makes your normal planner things like appointments, or goals, or events into missions. If you complete the missions you get experience and jewels. For me this app looks interesting because I am a huge gamer and this turns my life kinda into a game.
Now it is only and fancy planner, but with a twist, but I though I would give it a try, because I can set up goals to achieve, and missions to do that will notify me when I have yet to complete them. The app also track how much time I have in my day to complete all my missions.So I am really looking forward to seeing how this will work for me. I think I will be able to do it. I am honestly excited about playing a game called my life.
This app LifeRPG is my step one at getting out of a rut. It helps me put a face to my goals and what time I actually have to complete them. I have been wanting to accomplish so much and wanting to do so much, but I never got organized, or ever took that first step. I have been making plans to get a schedule for myself for the longest time yet never doing it and now I am taking my first step towards the extraordinary. Also one of the first mission I completed was write a blog yeah lvl 2 here I come.
Remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary actions.
Sifu R. Langner
Sunday, 11 June 2017
Smile
Before I start I just want to say how much fun I had at the Onaway parade. It was fun like always and we got to win 1st place back to back. Which is pretty cool.
Now in my life I have have become accustom to not smiling a lot. Now I know what you might think, but Randy I have seen you smile a lot before. Well yes and no. When I am with friends it is easy to smile, when I am with family it is easy to smile, but when I am by myself I don't smile at all. I spend a lot of time by myself. I could watch something hilarious, but won't find the need to laugh or smile. I have had friends in my past and all the way to the present, but I did not hang out with them all the time maybe once or twice a week, and on good months multiple times in a week. Growing up my parent worked a lot to help give me the future I have now and I am grateful for that, but I was alone for a good portion of my life. I do not blame my parents for any of my alone time, but I did nothing to stop it either.
What I have difficultly in doing is smiling when it is called for. For example being friendly to someone, or someone smiles at you and normally you smile back. What happens for me is I either don't smile at all so I kinda look like a jerk, or I think I am smiling, but in reality I am barely smirking. I used to not smile a lot as a kid either, but I have definitely improved since then.
When I have successfully smiled at others when appropriate I found the action difficult and embarrassing. My cheeks always feel so heavy whenever I try to smile. Then one day I was told it is like any other muscle you have, if you never practice you never get any better at it and won't build muscle. So I guess you could say I kinda practice smiling now; not always in public, but mostly at home. It still feels weird to do, but I guess it is better then walking with a depressed or doom and gloom look on my face all day. Also I am not trying to fake it, I just want to be more approachable, if someone were to need help or if they wanted to become friends. It is kinda difficult to explain my goal, because I do have realistic expectation from what I am just having a hard time explaining it.
I would definitely say most of my smiling happens at kung fu. It is the one place where I am the happiest. Mainly because of the people in Kung fu that make me happy. This might be one of my more weirder blogs I have written, but I guess this helps me writing all this down for me to see.
I will end it here so remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary actions.
Sifu. R. Langner
Now in my life I have have become accustom to not smiling a lot. Now I know what you might think, but Randy I have seen you smile a lot before. Well yes and no. When I am with friends it is easy to smile, when I am with family it is easy to smile, but when I am by myself I don't smile at all. I spend a lot of time by myself. I could watch something hilarious, but won't find the need to laugh or smile. I have had friends in my past and all the way to the present, but I did not hang out with them all the time maybe once or twice a week, and on good months multiple times in a week. Growing up my parent worked a lot to help give me the future I have now and I am grateful for that, but I was alone for a good portion of my life. I do not blame my parents for any of my alone time, but I did nothing to stop it either.
What I have difficultly in doing is smiling when it is called for. For example being friendly to someone, or someone smiles at you and normally you smile back. What happens for me is I either don't smile at all so I kinda look like a jerk, or I think I am smiling, but in reality I am barely smirking. I used to not smile a lot as a kid either, but I have definitely improved since then.
When I have successfully smiled at others when appropriate I found the action difficult and embarrassing. My cheeks always feel so heavy whenever I try to smile. Then one day I was told it is like any other muscle you have, if you never practice you never get any better at it and won't build muscle. So I guess you could say I kinda practice smiling now; not always in public, but mostly at home. It still feels weird to do, but I guess it is better then walking with a depressed or doom and gloom look on my face all day. Also I am not trying to fake it, I just want to be more approachable, if someone were to need help or if they wanted to become friends. It is kinda difficult to explain my goal, because I do have realistic expectation from what I am just having a hard time explaining it.
I would definitely say most of my smiling happens at kung fu. It is the one place where I am the happiest. Mainly because of the people in Kung fu that make me happy. This might be one of my more weirder blogs I have written, but I guess this helps me writing all this down for me to see.
I will end it here so remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary actions.
Sifu. R. Langner
Sunday, 4 June 2017
Pandamodium 24 Hours of Greatness
Firsts things first I am sorry for not blogging regularly. Also I am sorry I could not make some classes and parades. I am sure you all had a blast. I have just being going to appointments for my mental health and I did not inform you all. So once again I am sorry for not being as vocal as to why I have been missing some events. But I am glad I did not have to miss one event, and that was panadmodium.
Every year it comes new and cherished memory's are made for everyone. Awareness it raised and new and old friendships are made or strengthen. I decided this year to do the all 24 hours challenge again; it's my third time. Which by the way I got to enjoy with my good buddy Dan. All 24 hours is a task that ask a lot from you, but you never regret it by the time your done the day. You get to see people you never meet at kung fu normally, and you get to practice a whole lot of kung fu, and see people you have not seen for a long time. You also get to experience new and wonderful moment in that time your there.
Probably the most favorite thing I did at the Pandamodium was getting to practice drumming. I have always wanted to learn more on drumming and that is exactly what I got. If I had to relive a moment in my life I would choose the time I was drumming that day. It filled me with such joy.
I would say every hour of the Panadamodium has it's unique experience and not everybody get to enjoy it do to some circumstances. I will say this year was a little more quieter then others, but the energy and people that attended made it feel like a success. I believe there is always room for doing better, but when action still take place in my books something has been achieved and now we look towards the future to make things greater.
I would highly recommend more people trying to attend the full 24 hours of the pandamodium. Even if it is only once. We all have a whole year to plan for the next one and I hope to see ton's of people try all 24 hours. Like I said it does take a toll on the body, but I can assure anyone, you might get addicted to it and try a few more times. Doing all 24 hours requires some planning and discipline. In the end you will get something out of it and you will remember it for a very long time.
Well I have blogged enough for now so remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary action.
Sifu R. Langner
Every year it comes new and cherished memory's are made for everyone. Awareness it raised and new and old friendships are made or strengthen. I decided this year to do the all 24 hours challenge again; it's my third time. Which by the way I got to enjoy with my good buddy Dan. All 24 hours is a task that ask a lot from you, but you never regret it by the time your done the day. You get to see people you never meet at kung fu normally, and you get to practice a whole lot of kung fu, and see people you have not seen for a long time. You also get to experience new and wonderful moment in that time your there.
Probably the most favorite thing I did at the Pandamodium was getting to practice drumming. I have always wanted to learn more on drumming and that is exactly what I got. If I had to relive a moment in my life I would choose the time I was drumming that day. It filled me with such joy.
I would say every hour of the Panadamodium has it's unique experience and not everybody get to enjoy it do to some circumstances. I will say this year was a little more quieter then others, but the energy and people that attended made it feel like a success. I believe there is always room for doing better, but when action still take place in my books something has been achieved and now we look towards the future to make things greater.
I would highly recommend more people trying to attend the full 24 hours of the pandamodium. Even if it is only once. We all have a whole year to plan for the next one and I hope to see ton's of people try all 24 hours. Like I said it does take a toll on the body, but I can assure anyone, you might get addicted to it and try a few more times. Doing all 24 hours requires some planning and discipline. In the end you will get something out of it and you will remember it for a very long time.
Well I have blogged enough for now so remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary action.
Sifu R. Langner
Monday, 22 May 2017
Kung Fu
Hello everyone It has been awhile and I am sorry for that. I have been thinking a lot about what is my next step in life right now is gonna be. I worried and crammed to finish school, then I had no job, and at was job hunting for a week, then I get a job with really strange shifts. I am told they will become normal soon enough, but just need to adjust for 2 weeks. I think myself incredibly lucky yo have not only found a job, but found a job in what I want to do in life as a career; an electrician.
Then I start to think what am I gonna do in my kung fu life. I would have to say this year in I ho chaun has been a hard one for me to stay engaged with my kung fu. I still love it and know the wonderful opportunity's kung fu provides me, yet I do not take them. I have gain quite a bit if weight since my school days. Which has made doing the kung fu I love harder for me.
I guess you could say I have lost motivation to continue to strive for better things for myself in kung fu. I won't quit though because I already made that mistake once. I like to think that I have it under control in what I want to do in life and kung fu, but what I lack is action. I wake up tired and unmotivated to want to do anything, but in the back of my mind I know I should do something. Then what ends up winning is the side that did not want to do anything, because I am to tired.
Kung fu has taught me so many valuable lessons, that I just can't give up on something that has truly changed my life for the better. I have great friends I hang out with, and have amazing family of other martial artists that want to achieve the extraordinary. My life goal is to achieve the extraordinary and in order to so I went back to basics and thought what does kung fu mean, it means HARD WORK. It is just two words hard work, but the power behind these words could change your life. Most people are just not naturally good at something. Most of the time they became really good or accomplished something all through the power of working hard. Almost everything we have today in our society was built around hard work of people, who were willing to do the hard work to accomplish the extraordinary.
I vow to start working hard in my life and my kung fu and start using the tools around to become the best martial artist I can become. That is it for now so remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary action.
Sifu R. Langner
Then I start to think what am I gonna do in my kung fu life. I would have to say this year in I ho chaun has been a hard one for me to stay engaged with my kung fu. I still love it and know the wonderful opportunity's kung fu provides me, yet I do not take them. I have gain quite a bit if weight since my school days. Which has made doing the kung fu I love harder for me.
I guess you could say I have lost motivation to continue to strive for better things for myself in kung fu. I won't quit though because I already made that mistake once. I like to think that I have it under control in what I want to do in life and kung fu, but what I lack is action. I wake up tired and unmotivated to want to do anything, but in the back of my mind I know I should do something. Then what ends up winning is the side that did not want to do anything, because I am to tired.
Kung fu has taught me so many valuable lessons, that I just can't give up on something that has truly changed my life for the better. I have great friends I hang out with, and have amazing family of other martial artists that want to achieve the extraordinary. My life goal is to achieve the extraordinary and in order to so I went back to basics and thought what does kung fu mean, it means HARD WORK. It is just two words hard work, but the power behind these words could change your life. Most people are just not naturally good at something. Most of the time they became really good or accomplished something all through the power of working hard. Almost everything we have today in our society was built around hard work of people, who were willing to do the hard work to accomplish the extraordinary.
I vow to start working hard in my life and my kung fu and start using the tools around to become the best martial artist I can become. That is it for now so remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary action.
Sifu R. Langner
Monday, 17 April 2017
Progressing Wisely
Hello everyone I am almost done my schooling. Last week, then back to normal life. There have been some things I have learned about myself. I learned that when I want to get something done I put everything I have into the goal, and forget everything else. It is not a bad trait, but at the same time for me it could be dangerous. I make my life an unsustainable turn and when I finish there is sometimes repercussions for the way of life I was living. It is a way of life I am used to that is not necessarily bad , but not really a good either. I have yet to learn the art of gradually doing something that is sustainable for me. A way of progressing wisely. Every time I think I have figured it out I am actually only half way there, or not at all. I know the concept, I have some ideas, on how to do it, but then I always stay in my comfort zone, and end up paying the price later.
You know it is times like these that I feel so blessed to be apart of kung fu and all the opportunity is has afforded me. I appreciate everything that kung fu has helped me accomplish and everything it helped me in life. I am here today blogging right now and feeling happy. All because of one small moment in my life that changed my life forever. Maybe I will write about that in my next blog, but for now I think this is not bad, so remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary action.
Sifu R. Langner
You know it is times like these that I feel so blessed to be apart of kung fu and all the opportunity is has afforded me. I appreciate everything that kung fu has helped me accomplish and everything it helped me in life. I am here today blogging right now and feeling happy. All because of one small moment in my life that changed my life forever. Maybe I will write about that in my next blog, but for now I think this is not bad, so remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary action.
Sifu R. Langner
Sunday, 9 April 2017
2 more weeks
Hey everyone I just have to say sorry for my absents last Thursday. I had no reason to not show other then I ended up putting some school work as priority. I am truly sorry for not making good on my word.
Anyways I am almost done my school work. I have been working hard and doing everything in my power to to good on my exams. I feel like I am gonna pass this course. Once I am done I plan on finishing my Japanese lessons and attending more kung fu.
Lately I have been recording my numbers again, since our last meeting. I have been sort of not recording them for a very long time. It was not because I did not see the value or not know why we recorded our number. I just forgot what it felt like to record your numbers. That feeling of marking down what you have accomplished in just a few minutes. Then the continued progression of filling out the rest of the page; eventually filling one page and feeling the proud sensation of yeah I did that, I accomplishes this, these are my numbers, time to conquer this next empty page. I have not filled out a page yet, but I know what is coming up. My mood has also improved since I have been recording my numbers again. It feels good to be recording again. Also I just do 20 counter push ups a day, because it is all my shoulders can handle at the moment.
There is a huge difference in knowing the value and what you can get out of something, then actually doing the action that gets you the values you know that you can benefit from. I plan on taking more action in my life to accomplish the goals I would like to achieve.
This saying I leave here is not just for your benefit, but for mine also. Remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary action.
Sifu R. Langner
Anyways I am almost done my school work. I have been working hard and doing everything in my power to to good on my exams. I feel like I am gonna pass this course. Once I am done I plan on finishing my Japanese lessons and attending more kung fu.
Lately I have been recording my numbers again, since our last meeting. I have been sort of not recording them for a very long time. It was not because I did not see the value or not know why we recorded our number. I just forgot what it felt like to record your numbers. That feeling of marking down what you have accomplished in just a few minutes. Then the continued progression of filling out the rest of the page; eventually filling one page and feeling the proud sensation of yeah I did that, I accomplishes this, these are my numbers, time to conquer this next empty page. I have not filled out a page yet, but I know what is coming up. My mood has also improved since I have been recording my numbers again. It feels good to be recording again. Also I just do 20 counter push ups a day, because it is all my shoulders can handle at the moment.
There is a huge difference in knowing the value and what you can get out of something, then actually doing the action that gets you the values you know that you can benefit from. I plan on taking more action in my life to accomplish the goals I would like to achieve.
This saying I leave here is not just for your benefit, but for mine also. Remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary action.
Sifu R. Langner
Sunday, 2 April 2017
EPIC TITLE OF ALL THE TITLES
Hello everyone I am learning that I am actually not bad at planning my life. I am just lazy sometimes; with a hint of procrastination. I am always planning on how I am going to get my work done at school, and re planning when things come up. So I guess you can say I have been practicing on my skills to time manage in one area. Then it dawned on me why don't I put those same planning skills into my real life, like kung fu and spending time with friends all the while still maintaining good grades in school.
This would be my first real week at doing this, but I think it is more than doable. Also I have been putting off my number recording for far to long. Whenever I did record my numbers my way of life went up, because I became more engaged with life and more organized. I am also gonna start bringing a book to whenever I go to class with my numbers in them. So feel free to ask me to see my book.
Now I am also trying to make sure I approach this in a smart way and start developing something I can maintain, and not just die out. A nice soft gentle right turn instead of a harsh right turn. Oh yeah the title i made was just for fun; I could of picked a name for this blog, but I wanted an epic title. :)
Well that it for now so remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary action.
Sifu R. Langner
This would be my first real week at doing this, but I think it is more than doable. Also I have been putting off my number recording for far to long. Whenever I did record my numbers my way of life went up, because I became more engaged with life and more organized. I am also gonna start bringing a book to whenever I go to class with my numbers in them. So feel free to ask me to see my book.
Now I am also trying to make sure I approach this in a smart way and start developing something I can maintain, and not just die out. A nice soft gentle right turn instead of a harsh right turn. Oh yeah the title i made was just for fun; I could of picked a name for this blog, but I wanted an epic title. :)
Well that it for now so remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary action.
Sifu R. Langner
Sunday, 26 March 2017
Time Management
So I have not been able to use as much time as I would like in my kung fu, but that is my own fault. I do this a lot when I really want to do really good in something; I lose all sense of balance of time. I become so engrossed in what I am trying to do that I exclude all other things in my life. I get the mind set that I can only accomplish my goal if I fully 100% commit myself to that goal and and not deviate form that. Now I am not saying this 100% commitment of mine is all bad, but it can consume me a bit. Which in return excludes all other events in my life.
Time management is still something I need to work on. I know what times I have plenty of time for other things like kung fu. I worry if I don't keep studying or working ahead I will fall behind and fail. If I want to learn more and do more, then I need to learn how to manage my time better; so I don't leave out the important things in my life.
I will say right now I am currently not behind in my study's, but I feel a lot of pressure to do good and pass. This is my future and I really don't want to fail. So I am trying to give it my all, but I am going to make time for myself. Like my kung fu.
Remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary action.
Sifu R. Langner
Time management is still something I need to work on. I know what times I have plenty of time for other things like kung fu. I worry if I don't keep studying or working ahead I will fall behind and fail. If I want to learn more and do more, then I need to learn how to manage my time better; so I don't leave out the important things in my life.
I will say right now I am currently not behind in my study's, but I feel a lot of pressure to do good and pass. This is my future and I really don't want to fail. So I am trying to give it my all, but I am going to make time for myself. Like my kung fu.
Remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary action.
Sifu R. Langner
Monday, 20 March 2017
The Path to My Future
What's up everyone sorry for being a little late on my blog. I was wrapped up in my homework. My mind has been pretty fried lately; just so much stuff to do. I realized something today I really like teaching others; especially if I know a lot about it. I like when people come to me and ask for help and then I can actually help them.
Maybe most people feel the same way, but being able to see other people feel joy and appreciation for the help makes me feel very good. This by the way is my interpretation of what I see no one has told me; I just get a feeling. I have always felt like this in anything I was able to show or help someone. What ever job I had the best part for me was teaching someone new how to do their job, and trying my best to help them succeed.
I always get a feeling of accomplishment when I do this. This is also probably the reason why I want to learn so many new things. To improve on my power to help others if they want it. It is a win win for me because I get to learn and improve myself, and I might get to help someone else someday who also might want to learn something I have learned.
I am starting to realize just how cool are world is and that the possibility's are endless. All I have to do is put my mind to it commit my time, and effort, and willingness to accomplishes new things in my life. I want to become an ordinary person who does extraordinary action.
Sifu R. Langner
Maybe most people feel the same way, but being able to see other people feel joy and appreciation for the help makes me feel very good. This by the way is my interpretation of what I see no one has told me; I just get a feeling. I have always felt like this in anything I was able to show or help someone. What ever job I had the best part for me was teaching someone new how to do their job, and trying my best to help them succeed.
I always get a feeling of accomplishment when I do this. This is also probably the reason why I want to learn so many new things. To improve on my power to help others if they want it. It is a win win for me because I get to learn and improve myself, and I might get to help someone else someday who also might want to learn something I have learned.
I am starting to realize just how cool are world is and that the possibility's are endless. All I have to do is put my mind to it commit my time, and effort, and willingness to accomplishes new things in my life. I want to become an ordinary person who does extraordinary action.
Sifu R. Langner
Sunday, 12 March 2017
Wanting and going to do
Hello everyone I guess my life now is pretty much school work and kung fu, but I would have to say it is really exciting too. Right now I am studying a career I want to do, and doing the thing I love most(kung fu). I would say things are going well now. I have a new outlook on my life now; that I did not have before.
I really want to learn new things and skills to become a an interesting person. I want to finish my lessons on learning to speak Japanese, and I want to learn how to play the piano, I want to become the very best in my field of work. I want to lose weight again. I want to get into running again. I don't want to feel depressed any more.
I know I can't do all of these at the same time, because I still live a life and probably can only accomplish one at a time. Mainly because my priority will always be family, life, and kung fu. First I will finish school the I will have time to finish learning Japanese. I want to learn so many things, but it feels like I just don't have enough time to do it.
I am going to be 30 in 2 years, and for me I realized I have for most of my life chose to spend time at my home doing nothing and never going anywhere. Also I isolated myself from others and spent majority of my time in front of a tv. I would have to say the majority of my life has been in front of the tv.
This is my comfort zone, and whenever I am asked go out of it I used to always no, but now I hope people will ask me and help me from staying in the unproductive lazy, procrastinating zone. I want to make more new friends, and see have more new experiences. I want to feel alive again, because before my trip to Japan I was terrified in going. I wanted to go but I feel like I would just mess it up somehow or that I did not deserve to go, but now I wanna do more. (within financial reason) I really do feel like I have to many missed opportunity in life I never took, because I was not ready to leave my comfort zone.
Anyways this just me saying if anybody out there is doing something I would love to come along, if it is ok with you. If I were to join anyone I we would go into grater detail of course off what availability I have. Also no heart feeling if you don't want me to come, or no one responds to me that is fine you have your lives too please live them to your fullest.
I just want more out of life then just tv and games. I also read a lot , but I kinda want to keep doing that one.
Anyways remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary actions.
Sifu R. Langner
I really want to learn new things and skills to become a an interesting person. I want to finish my lessons on learning to speak Japanese, and I want to learn how to play the piano, I want to become the very best in my field of work. I want to lose weight again. I want to get into running again. I don't want to feel depressed any more.
I know I can't do all of these at the same time, because I still live a life and probably can only accomplish one at a time. Mainly because my priority will always be family, life, and kung fu. First I will finish school the I will have time to finish learning Japanese. I want to learn so many things, but it feels like I just don't have enough time to do it.
I am going to be 30 in 2 years, and for me I realized I have for most of my life chose to spend time at my home doing nothing and never going anywhere. Also I isolated myself from others and spent majority of my time in front of a tv. I would have to say the majority of my life has been in front of the tv.
This is my comfort zone, and whenever I am asked go out of it I used to always no, but now I hope people will ask me and help me from staying in the unproductive lazy, procrastinating zone. I want to make more new friends, and see have more new experiences. I want to feel alive again, because before my trip to Japan I was terrified in going. I wanted to go but I feel like I would just mess it up somehow or that I did not deserve to go, but now I wanna do more. (within financial reason) I really do feel like I have to many missed opportunity in life I never took, because I was not ready to leave my comfort zone.
Anyways this just me saying if anybody out there is doing something I would love to come along, if it is ok with you. If I were to join anyone I we would go into grater detail of course off what availability I have. Also no heart feeling if you don't want me to come, or no one responds to me that is fine you have your lives too please live them to your fullest.
I just want more out of life then just tv and games. I also read a lot , but I kinda want to keep doing that one.
Anyways remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary actions.
Sifu R. Langner
Sunday, 5 March 2017
Back to Reality
Hello so I am finally back home and I will be going to school tomorrow for my 2nd year of electrician. I am still in aw of what I have experienced in Japan. Like when ever I entered any restaurant or shop I was greeted by everyone working there. They would all stop to greet me then all would tell me thank you for coming and hope to see you again. They would do this for every customer. I was impressed. Also you know how at our kwoon we all try to chip in and take care of it and the grounds around the kwoon. Well that is basically all of Japan. I saw so many times people cleaning the streets in front of there homes and take care of all the potted plants that most places had.
Also I can say without a doubt that all the homestays I got to stay in were the best part of my whole trip. Meeting families who have no idea who I am yet they welcomed me into there families so easily. I am truly grateful for their hospitality.
I also had an encounter where I needed help buying some allergy pills and could not read all the different medication. Then a random woman who could not speak a lot of English asked if I needed help.(she did not work thers e by the way) I said yes and ask her in Japanese about allergy meds; just the word allergy. We then began some charades and eventually she understood what I wanted and helped me find the right one for me. Also she also told me how many pills I was to take a day since I could not read the instructions.
Japan for me has redefined the random acts of kindness. In that I want to do more in my kind acts I do daily, but not simply counting I let someone in traffic(nothing wrong with this by the way), but to do more if the opportunity presents itself.
Well the trip is now behind me now, now I only have the feeling and the memories of this amazing trip. I have got to have my beloved black belt class and I Ho Chaun class. I had two amazing classes of kung fu. Now to keep moving forward and keep making more memories to last the rest of my life.
Remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary actions.
Sifu R. Langner
Also I can say without a doubt that all the homestays I got to stay in were the best part of my whole trip. Meeting families who have no idea who I am yet they welcomed me into there families so easily. I am truly grateful for their hospitality.
I also had an encounter where I needed help buying some allergy pills and could not read all the different medication. Then a random woman who could not speak a lot of English asked if I needed help.(she did not work thers e by the way) I said yes and ask her in Japanese about allergy meds; just the word allergy. We then began some charades and eventually she understood what I wanted and helped me find the right one for me. Also she also told me how many pills I was to take a day since I could not read the instructions.
Japan for me has redefined the random acts of kindness. In that I want to do more in my kind acts I do daily, but not simply counting I let someone in traffic(nothing wrong with this by the way), but to do more if the opportunity presents itself.
Well the trip is now behind me now, now I only have the feeling and the memories of this amazing trip. I have got to have my beloved black belt class and I Ho Chaun class. I had two amazing classes of kung fu. Now to keep moving forward and keep making more memories to last the rest of my life.
Remember everyone ordinary people extraordinary actions.
Sifu R. Langner
Sunday, 26 February 2017
Japan Final
Hello so this has been an amazing experience for me and I am glad I finally have some traveling under my belt. It is a bitter sweet end for me, because it was a blast this whole entire trip and I met some amazing people who I will never forget. At the same time though I am sad that this little adventure of mine will come to an end. I wish I could continue traveling japan, but at the same time I am ready to go home and see my friends and family again. Also I miss my black belt classes and I ho chuan.
I have learned a lot here in japan and I plan to implement what I have learned here back home.
Also I would highly recommend anyone who is traveling to another country to book a homestay. Some of my best time in japan has been at other family's homes.
By the way I am currently in tokyo my last destination. I will be returning Feb 28. So I will see you all soon.
I have learned a lot here in japan and I plan to implement what I have learned here back home.
Also I would highly recommend anyone who is traveling to another country to book a homestay. Some of my best time in japan has been at other family's homes.
By the way I am currently in tokyo my last destination. I will be returning Feb 28. So I will see you all soon.
So remember ordinary people extraordinary actions
Sifu R. Langner
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