Big and Small

Hey so I was thinking about how to change in my life and kung fu. Normally I want to accomplish grand goals but sometimes I forget what need to be done to achieve these grand goals in life. Those are the little everyday goals; that can end up one day accomplishing something amazing.
  Like for example losing weight. When I was 310 lbs I wanted to lose a bunch a weight and become healthier.  I ended up losing over 130 lbs within in 6 months and at one time weighed180 lbs. I achieved a grand goal, but did not recognize all the small little accomplishments I was making along the way . I did not recognize the little bit of weight I lost daily, the healthier eating I was doing, nor the more active person I became. I just knew I lost a bunch of weight and that was that.
   I no longer weigh that obviously, but I have been making a steady climb back to 310 lbs. I am sad to say I am closer to being 310 lbs then to the 180 I once achieved. I know in my mind what need to be done but always lack the follow through. I now appreciate those little achievements I was able to pull off back then, because it meant I was sticking to something to become a healthier human being.
  I know my last blog talked about being more positive with my word, but I still fear jumping into it we both feet, because I know what I am like. I can write down here.
     " I am going to start eating healthier by going to the grocery store and buying my own food, and I won't eat what my parents cook for me anymore. I will eat more greens and fruits, and less meat, and carbs. I will be more active by going to kung fu Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday. I will start working out more, by going to the gym and developing a routine of sorts that is maintainable for me. I will watch less t.v.  I will like myself."
   For me I can say these things, but by tomorrow I will not try any of it, nor will I feel good about making that decision. If I tell family and friends some will ask me so how is it coming along, or a general question about how I am doing with what I am trying to accomplish. I will say I have not started it yet, or I will start eventually. Then everyone forgets that I even said I would try this. Then I will write another blog about how I will need to change my lifestyle, and become more healthier. Rinse Repeat.
   I am in  a vicious cycle of getting nothing done. I really do want to say I will and I can, but it is hard for me to do so when your only accountability is myself and myself does not care. I think until I can get myself to care I am stuck in a cycle.
  Well this blog got out of hand. I just wanted to talk about appreciating all the small goals that you make when trying to achieve a big goal. Anyways I am a work in progress and I truly hope to make more improvements in my life.

Sifu R. Langner
 

What's Next?

Hello everyone I was thinking to myself what I need to do to change my attitude towards kung fu and my life. I figure I should start with the words I say. I would say even this week I ended up saying negative stuff about myself in life and my kung fu. I seem to not accept anything good about myself, and when practicing to become better I tell myself how horrible I am, and I will never get better no matter how long, or hard I try.
   I need to try and catch myself when I do this and start to re-phrase what I say. For example I said "apparently my drumming is really bad and not up to snuff." Now no one told me this, but this is what I had thought. What I should of said is "I feel like I still have a lot to learn and can't wait to learn more." Just by changing the way I said "I still need a lot of practice" brought into the equation two completely trains of thought. I changed it from not feeling of any improvement has been made and I will never make it; to a student who realizing they learned a lot and is looking forward to what they can accomplish if they keep going.
The Power of words have a power of putting you in the improper mind set of a challenge all because the speaker chose some bad words to say over a more optimistic way of looking at things.
What this new ,I guess sorta game, I do is whenever things are going bad for me or others around me. I start telling a story on how well can I turn what is going on to them seem better. Basically  create the silver lining; then focus on that.
   Words are not just words . They can become your worst nightmare or be your best friend.I am current trying to become more involved in my life, by listen to the negative words I say to myself and try to rephrase what I say to become more positive look on my out life and kung fu. 

Well I would like to start leaving my little quote's on here again so I'm gonna.
we are all ordinary people, but we all have the possibly of doing extraordinary action.





Sifu R. Langner

Old Friend

Hello everyone I know it has been awhile since I last posted a blog. I guess you could say I am a bit scared right now to jump with both feet in. This has do you with my kung fu and my life. I know right now I need to make a change in my diet, training, and my overall approach to my life. I fear and worry of losing time on other things I like to do, but accomplish nothing, but makes me feel relaxed. I get home form work and sit and rest until the next day all the while I eat unhealthy.
   I know how and what I need to do to lose the weight, but this time feels different. I had an iron will and determination that would not faultier in the goal of losing weight and becoming healthier. This time I waiver and doubt that I will go through with the changes permanently. I feel like I will try for a week then give up like I have done so many times in the past. Except for the one time when I did not.
  I am not sure where or how I got the iron will before; all I know is that it developed when I found out I was 310 lbs. When I first found out that info I was shocked that I had become over 300 lbs. I could not accept this, so I changed my life around lost my weight and re-joined kung fu again and got my black belt. Now I look and the scale and I do not like what I see, but my iron will is not reborn.
 
  I guess now that I re read this blog I get the sense of engagement of my life has changed drastically. When I lost my weight I was very engaged and the tools of kung fu and I Ho Chuan helped me stay engaged. Then when I stopped using the tools provided for me I became less engaged in my own life. Now that I have not been doing so many of the requirements it all makes sense to me now why I have started on this path, I have unfortunately started.
  Every requirement that the I Ho Chuan ask of all of us is not impossible. Every requirement on there accomplish something different, but they also all accomplish one goal as well. That is becoming more aware and engaged in your surroundings and your own well being. I have been struggling and wondering how I was gonna change my life back to where I was more engaged for the longest time and I just realized now that it has been in front of my face this whole entire time. I Ho Chuan requirements if I do them I will see results I will like, if I don't do them I will be in the current state I am currently in. I plan to try harder in the rest of my I ho chuan year, and the next one after that as well.
  You know there is a reason why I chose the title old friend. Blogging has sometime helped me think clearer or find an answer I have been struggling for the longest time. Then I write a blog, and the blog listens, I work through what is going in my head and the blog listens, I re-read my blog and the blog gives helpful advice. Now to me that sounds like a good friend to have, and when you neglect a good friend like that, things tend not to go as well. So I will end this for now and say thank you old friend.



Sifu R. Langner