Old Friend

Hello everyone I know it has been awhile since I last posted a blog. I guess you could say I am a bit scared right now to jump with both feet in. This has do you with my kung fu and my life. I know right now I need to make a change in my diet, training, and my overall approach to my life. I fear and worry of losing time on other things I like to do, but accomplish nothing, but makes me feel relaxed. I get home form work and sit and rest until the next day all the while I eat unhealthy.
   I know how and what I need to do to lose the weight, but this time feels different. I had an iron will and determination that would not faultier in the goal of losing weight and becoming healthier. This time I waiver and doubt that I will go through with the changes permanently. I feel like I will try for a week then give up like I have done so many times in the past. Except for the one time when I did not.
  I am not sure where or how I got the iron will before; all I know is that it developed when I found out I was 310 lbs. When I first found out that info I was shocked that I had become over 300 lbs. I could not accept this, so I changed my life around lost my weight and re-joined kung fu again and got my black belt. Now I look and the scale and I do not like what I see, but my iron will is not reborn.
 
  I guess now that I re read this blog I get the sense of engagement of my life has changed drastically. When I lost my weight I was very engaged and the tools of kung fu and I Ho Chuan helped me stay engaged. Then when I stopped using the tools provided for me I became less engaged in my own life. Now that I have not been doing so many of the requirements it all makes sense to me now why I have started on this path, I have unfortunately started.
  Every requirement that the I Ho Chuan ask of all of us is not impossible. Every requirement on there accomplish something different, but they also all accomplish one goal as well. That is becoming more aware and engaged in your surroundings and your own well being. I have been struggling and wondering how I was gonna change my life back to where I was more engaged for the longest time and I just realized now that it has been in front of my face this whole entire time. I Ho Chuan requirements if I do them I will see results I will like, if I don't do them I will be in the current state I am currently in. I plan to try harder in the rest of my I ho chuan year, and the next one after that as well.
  You know there is a reason why I chose the title old friend. Blogging has sometime helped me think clearer or find an answer I have been struggling for the longest time. Then I write a blog, and the blog listens, I work through what is going in my head and the blog listens, I re-read my blog and the blog gives helpful advice. Now to me that sounds like a good friend to have, and when you neglect a good friend like that, things tend not to go as well. So I will end this for now and say thank you old friend.



Sifu R. Langner