Training (Just Do It)

I have been struggling with my training for awhile now. A lot of the times it has been worked related. I feel as though I am stuck in a loop. Not training, admit not training, start training again, then work pumps up the overtime, throws me for a  off of consistent training, then I don’t train again, then start the cycle again.

Where I fail: 

-  I get lots of work then start thinking not enough time and I am tired.

-  I get easily de motivated and depressed. It is a cycle of failure 

-  I make to many excuses. Even if some or a lot are valid it is no excuse for doing nothing. In my situation.

-  My lack of conviction and consistency.

Where I succeed:

- I can see the problem and am fully aware of it and I know how to fix my problem.

How to fix my issues:

- easy answer Just do it.

- actual answer start making king fu apart of my life again. 

- the power of recording my progress is very powerful.

- I know when during the days I usually can get some practice in. During my work. 

- I need to train to what I am physically fit for right now and not go to crazy and hurt myself.

- I need to keep the power of gratitude on my mind daily and appreciate the people that are around me that care about me.

I could put a schedule of when I can probably get some training in, but I know that for me that is a system doomed for failure as soon as I start missing my schedule. I know it will start to break apart and then I fall back into my loop. I need to keep in the for front of my mind when to take the opportunity’s to train when it presents itself and record. Instead of getting home from work exhausted and rest. Get home exhausted and get ready for some training. I know I don’t have to go super hard but I know it starts with me.

Sihing Langner

Mother’s Day

Working in Hinton has not been so bad. I have definitely worked worse places. I have been trying to make time to really enjoy the nature when I can. 

I know we just had Mother’s Day yesterday, but I realize as I get older how much more I appreciate my parents and I usually try to do something for them on that day. I know I made life hard for my Mom when growing up. I used to be a very angry kid. I know for sure that my mom will go to hell and back for me. I show my appreciation to her by getting her favourite things. Salted Carmel chocolate and a bouquet of flowers. 

For the Mothers out there happy Mother’s Day 

Sihing Langner

Tired

 This is my first time doing 14 on and and 7 days off. They are each 10 hour shift some times 12 hour. I just finished day 6 of 14. I have been trying to keep track of my sleep schedule, because I do not want to be in a major car accident again.

   I am pretty sure I fell asleep while driving when I got into my last accident. So I would say my kung fu has been pushed back of the train, but I would say this time I have not cut out my training completely like I usually do. I have pulled back how often I practice my forms. 

Ever since my accident I do worry if I get the proper amount of sleep. I just really do not want to go through that struggle again. I will always be thankful for everything that I got to learn and grow because of the accident. I think I am good to wait a very long time till the next great lesson.

I heard this great quote “if there is no sunshine where you are then make some of your own”

Sihing Langner

Slow and Steady

So doing my forms still aggravates my right shoulder, but I am able to use more of my shoulder. I am able to do 2 or 3 forms completely before I feel my right shoulder becomes sore. Once that happens I move onto repeating moves in the form that I am trying to work on. Normally the ones that are not heavily right shoulder based. I work on making my body flow and feel completely connected. 

When I start to work on just the moves of my form is when I focus on my hips the most. My hips give me power and flow when it is aligned properly. It is an easy place to cheat to get to the next move. 

I may not being doing a lot of kung fu, but I have been more consistent about it. Work is certainly getting in the way, but it is not blocking it.

Sihing Langner

I Did Some Kung Fu

 Normally, every week I look at the blank white screen with nothing in my mind to write. Mainly because I have not been doing kung fu. Work has been keeping me busy from going to any classes, but I still could’ve practised at home; I didn’t. I got home my right shoulder was sore so I did some Physio and called it a day. 

My negative way of thinking, and self deprecating made me want to do avoid my kung fu. Kung fu started to bring me, fear and anxiety; pushing me further away from wanting to do kung fu.

Yesterday I finally did some kung fu. I worked on my drum stick farm, and Lau Gar form. It was nerve-wracking to start, but they did it. I was out of breath and sore, but it helped. I just need to remain consistent and practice when I don’t want to at all. All I can say for right now is thank you.

Sihing Langner

Acceptance

 I feel as though I am desperately searching for acceptance. Mainly my acceptance of me. I reject who I am and not be grateful for who I am. I reject my reality and try and live in a existence that does not work. 

I need to adapt to what troubles me and use those troubles as my new foundation to build me up mentally and physically.That new foundation becomes my new opportunity’s to improve me and those around me. I know I hesitate to take this step, because I know it will be very hard for me. Although not doing either brings more hardships as well. 

 Because this is difficult for me means I absolutely need to do it. It will push me out of a negative and semi-comfy zone. 

Sihing Langner

I Need Blogging

I honestly don’t feel like blogging tonight. Which also tells me I absolutely need to blog. I don’t want to start missing blogs, because I know once I start missing my post date I will inevitably be missing more; to the point of just not doing them. 

  Blogging is currently my life line of trying to stay on track with my life. Me not wanting to blog also tells me I need to become more engaged in what I am doing in my life. Until I become more engaged in my life, my blogs will remain shallow.

  I remember when I first joined I Ho Chuan. I saw blogging to be a very difficult tool for me to use. It was new and foreign to me, but all I know is that when I was consistently blogging things eventually got better for me. Blogging helped me figure my issues out and helped me re learn to become engaged. Life was always hardest for me when I was not blogging. I never thought I would be a person who is very pro blogging. 

   Blogging has changed my life forever for the better. As much value I put into blogging I know it is just a step in the right direction; I need to do more physical steps.

Sihing Langner

Shoulders

   I have had bum shoulders before. I used to be called a T rex when doing my forms, because well I looked like one. I could not extend my arms to far without suffering repercussions. Then one day I got into a car accident and finally started to take care of my bum shoulders; with physiotherapy. 

   Now I have a single bum shoulder this time. The two differences for me this time is the first time I waited so long to get better and my flow was slightly off kilter, because both shoulder did the same thing; not move. This time I have seeked out physiotherapy sooner, but my flow when doing forms is immensely thrown off.

  I have to be careful of not using my right shoulder carelessly and hold back which in return subconsciously make me do the wrong move or hold back as well with the good shoulder. I will pull a punch with the good shoulder when it could throw properly.

  The injury in my right shoulder is actually not a major injury at all. I was making fast healing progress in the beginning of this injury, but now it seems to have plateaued. I am sort of getting better. There is no major pain but I feel a lot of soreness. It could just be the healing process. 

  All I can do is keep up with my Physio. I know it will be better someday. This time it hopefully just takes a few more months or less. Rather than me taking years like last time, but to be fair the first time I just thought I had no time and I can just deal with it. So making better decisions already.

Sihing Langner

Home

 I need to change my current environment. I live with my parents right now. I did live on my own before, but I had to move back in with my parents. I got into a major car accident a few years ago. I had to go under one year of physical therapy and I had very little income. I would be in financial despair if my parents did not let me move back. They also really helped me during those hard times. They also helped me save up some money to start looking into my first home.

I love and really appreciate what my parents did for me, but living here is in my comfort and mediocrity box. It has a little bit to do with them and all to do with me. I found my mental and physical state became better after I left my home the first time. I know there is nothing to prevent me to achieve better things for me now, they are just convenient excuses. 

It feels like I have a heavy weight of bad habits and laziness that feel like they get encouragement and reinforcement when I live at home. I love them and they love me. So not to much to be upset about. I do have full confidence once I move out into  the struggles of real life with bills and debt; seems to be something I am chasing for. Not just those things, but more importantly for me independence.

The responsibility of taking care of everything about myself drove me. Motivated me to become better. So I am currently looking at houses. I am just waiting for some info from my employer to see what kinda mortgage I can get.

For me living at with my parents is to easy. I thank my parents for giving me the opportunity to have a comfortable life. I yearn for a bit of complications. Hopefully not to big of complications, but life will give and take and hopefully I get to see another great journey ahead.

Sihing Langner

Physical Awareness

I think I need to be more aware of myself. I always find small new cuts or bruises on myself. Then I never know where the damage came from. Makes me feel as though even at work I am still trying to put my best foot forward and do a good job, but my self care for myself takes a bit of a back seat. I do wear proper protective gear. I take the precautions needed when working near or on live electric panels. I just find at the end of most days I have a small injury on my body I have never seen before. 

So when I work I am engaged, now I need to become engaged in myself and take care of it. 

Sihing Langner

A Wolfs story

 An old man told his grandson, 

“My son, there is a battle between two wolves inside us all”

“ One is evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies, and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humidity, kindness, empathy, and truth.”

The boy thought about it.

and asked,

“ Grandfather, which wolf wins?”

The old man quietly replied,

                            “ The one you feed”

This is just a small story I found I feel as though this rings fairly true right now for me. I need to feed the wolf I want to be in my life.

Sihing Langner

Tomorrow

 I have another night shift week. So this time I remembered to blog sooner rather then just during my break. 

I find it interesting the concept of tomorrow. It is a promise day that never comes.By saying, I will accomplish something tomorrow A sense of relief can come. A falsified idea that I tell myself “ see I said I was going to do it so now I have to just wait till tomorrow. The same day my magic powers come in”. 

Tomorrow is the very foundation for mediocrity when trying to complete objectives. Why can’t I spend time today towards my  goals. Well let me just pick from my list of excuses. I’m sure one will suffice. A huge part of tomorrow is priorities. To achieve something extraordinary the objective has to be moved up higher on the priority list and become today and every day. I think I’m gonna try some positive reinforcement for myself I will say “ I will eat healthier today, I will practice kung fu today, I will exercise today, I will study my Japanese today”. 

Finally to get rid of tomorrow the follow-through. If I want to lose tomorrow, I start today.

Sihing Langner

Blog no matter what

 So I don’t have a whole lot of time to write my blog this time. I for some reason thought I would just do my blog after work since I had a Sunday shift today, but I forgot it was a night shift I would not of been able to get my blog up until Monday morning. I am currently writing my blog during my break. I don’t know if I’ll be getting another one tonight, so I am seizing my opportunity.

I am trying to get this blogged posted tonight because it means a lot to me to maintain my schedule of Sunday night blog night. I could just wait until I get home a do it Monday, but that would be mediocrity creeping in. My break is almost over so this is my blog for remember to plan better for next time I might work night shift. Also my promise to keep myself consistent in uploading my blogs. 

Sihing Langner

Willpower

 Willpower is like any other muscle. If you do not work it out it will not get any stronger. It is a muscle that can be easily undervalued. To start exercising willpower try the art of simply resisting an impulse of small magnitude. Working on the choice that will re-enforce healthier habits. A simple example would be I will drink more water instead of other liquid substitutes. It seems small at first, but if achieved the willpower of saying no to the other foreign liquids and an embracing of the water, a muscle has been formed. It can be a small step to achieving other goals in life as well. Also if that newly developed muscle is not kept working it will fall again. Consistent action to training willpower is not temporary, it is a forever life goal. It is a road full of ups and downs. 

 Willpower just has to start somewhere, where it starts it up to us. When we are ready for the journey great experiences will await us. Just do not wait to long.

Sihing Langner  

Engagement

The power of engagement can turn your life around for the better. Simply starting to acknowledge small things in life can have a grandiose effect. Consistently Engaging creates tidal waves of change. A small practice can be as simply focus for a minute; I am breathing in I am breathing out. Very small steps. Start to go bigger and bigger where many small engagements turn into great engagement. Recording these engagements help you learn and become even more engaged. The path to engagement is driven by you and those around you. If you do not choose to engage then it will clearly have no value, but once embraced get ready for a wild ride into this thing called life.

Sihing Langner

Quotes i would like to live by

 "A master has failed more times then you have tried."

"Tomorrow is a mystery, yesterday is history , but today is a GIFT that is why it is called the present."

"Just do it"

These two quotes are in my head a lot lately. I figured I would share some whit you all since these are the quotes I remember the most.

If you guys have any I would be curious to see them.

Sifu Langner

Shaky

 I want to just start out with congrats to everyone and the banquet. To those who got promoted and to those that help put together and run the banquet.

Now for the blog. My mind is a bit of a jumble right now and I am having a hard time picking what I want to share right now. It is not that I don't know what to write right now; it is more related to I am still thinking how to say it. I feel as though I am wary of wanting to share. I will have to end it here for now. This is at least a start.

Sihing Langner