I was barely functional enough to get down to the floor, but once I got there I was on my side. I was going in and out of almost black out. I don’t know how long I was there on the floor, but I had no idea what happened to me.
Eventually I was finally not crashing out or anything and I could move again. To be fair I was not trying to move while I was on the ground, but eventually I was able to get up and like nothing happened.
I did go to bed right after and fell asleep. Since then I have been better and feeling better as well. It was just weird experience I have never had before.
My week had the best of intentions of more kung fu, but intentions only get me so far. Action is what I need and to do. I’m currently in my cheer leading phase. I wish, I want, I hope, but I don’t do. I could say all the right things until I’m blue in the face; means nothing if I don’t do.
I am my own worse enemy, sometime life takes my decisions out of my hands, but for most of it I block myself from making progress. Nothing is holding me back except me. I don’t write here right now that I will practice more, because I have broken that promise to many times. So now if I say it, it means nothing.
All I know is I need to start making better choices in my life. Thats all there is to it. No perfect moment, or right time, just me mentally and physically taking ownership and pride in who I want to be. I exist to breathe right now and that’s it. I have fun with my family once or twice a week then I stall.
Just do it.
I have no numbers again. I am happy you are still reading my blogs that I write. I say I appreciate it and I really mean it. Every time I have said thank you on here I have always truly meant it. So thank you for reading
So many people are, at some point, where you are now. The difference is that you see it, you don't deny it and you own it. That alone makes you such a great black belt and such a strong team member. Keep going Sihing Langner, you're doing better than you give yourself credit for.
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