Dizzy and Stuff

So I realize that this concussion is a bit more serious then I thought. I was hoping to be back working after 3 months, but that might not happen. It could be 6 or more months. I get dizzy after walking and going up and down stairs, and elevators; not every time. I hopefully will get to start doing some rehab in January or February. I sometimes will just be walking then I have to stop or I will fall over because I will fall over if I don't stop. This dizziness has given a more realization of what I am about to go through, but I know I am good to go :)

  I had also just finish a meeting today with a doctor, and I apparently have a indent in the back of my head now. They said they could fix it with surgery, but they also said that it helps me in no way health wise, nor is it more vulnerable. So I said no to the fix. The indent is hidden in my hair anyways so we are all good. He told me it will be just time for healing my dizziness.

 With all this crazy stuff happening in our world and with me, I don't think I have ever been closer with my whole family. Not just my parents, but my uncles, aunts, cousins, and grandparents. Not in person of course, except, my parents. I have just been talking with them more than I ever have after this accident.

  I won't lie I am a little worried if I can get my job back; even if I take 7 months or more off, but oddly enough I don't feel stressed about it. I know who I am and what Kung fu and the I Ho Chaun  has helped me accomplish. It helped me develop into a person who will strive for being the best current me, learn from every one and myself, learning it's okay to have hardship, because it what has made me grow and become a better person. It has also taught me I am never truly alone. I am surround by the best people ever. I do have all of you to thank for that. 

I have to end here getting a headache and dizzy, not just because its long. Have a Wonderful time every one.

Sifu Langner

Gratitude

 Hello it has been awhile, but gladly not my last. I went through a fairly serious accident last month. I learned that I had a fairly big hole in the top of my head, a concussion, and multiple fractures on my right side of my face. I last remember driving to work then waking up in the hospital. I was told I was unconscious for 3 days. 

  I have only recently learned as well from the police that I have somehow had a really good accident. They did not say those words, but I gathered that info from the info they said to me. Most of the passenger side had the most damage, the car crumpled properly to reduce the impact, and my seat belt and air bags did there jobs, and no fire. I hit a full tanker truck so good no fire. They made it sound like to me this accident could have been so much worse, but it was not. I of course still suffer injury's, but they are not the worst type. 

 I got to truly learn how grateful I am that I am here today, and the people I am surrounded with. I got lots of support from lot of friends and family, and I now believe to be so lucky with the fact I got amazing people that support me. I have found a new found appreciation for my parents and my friends. It kinda feels weird, but I feel super happy right now. I am still in pain, but I am looking very hopeful for my future. 

I am truly grateful for my time in kung fu. I was lucky enough to learn how to spot the extraordinary, and how to adapt and overcome, and especially never giving up. I look forward to what new things for me to learn in kung fu, but for now I will take step one: heal. This is the start of something really exciting for me. I know I will get better, and I will eventually adapt to my new reality. I know I will never be the same, but that is the fun of it. This is how I learn.

 I really want to thank all of you for your support, and I truly am very happy when I see or hear you all. This blog took me a long time to write, I have been trying to write this since 11:00 am, I had to take a lot of breaks in writing this. Even this give me a headache, but easily make me truly appreciate how great blogging is and I can't wait to do more.

 

Sifu Langner   

Shoulders

So I have been struggling with my shoulder for what seems like forever. But I have also learned do much more about myself and my body's movement. and how important proper posture is. I have learned with proper care I can get better and become more of a master of my body.

 Normally in forms I like to really put in power and snap into each move, all the while trying yo keep the flow and 6 harmonies aligned. With these shoulders of mine I can nor longer finish each move with as much energy as I would like. I now have to focus even more on my intent and control over my movement, because if it gets away from me I will feel it. Even picking up one of those black broad swords makes me feel pain. A light broad sword does not hurt though. I would say I still have amazing flexibility in my shoulders i just don't use it, because it would hurt after.

 I have  had to develop patience with this healing process. Slowly but surly I will get better but, I am also starting to try and live with the possibility that I will never be fully healed. I will forever have these bad shoulders and will have to get around it. If that is my future I won't let that dictate my love of kung fu, because I know that I will find another way to train and adapt to my future. That is always the least I can always do adapt, overcome, then thrive

Sifu Langner

Recommit to Mastery

 I had an eye opening experience tonight in class. I have been losing touch with myself and those around me. I have been using all these work hours I have been working before, and have not been doing any kung fu. Mediocrities have crept into my life and I let it happen. I have advanced in my career greatly, becoming a person that my work can rely upon and improved my overall competency at electrical, but life and kung fu has taken a step back.

   I have been unbalanced as of late. Work, work, work. I have to come up with a better way to keep myself engaged when times of work come, because it will happen again, but I can prevent the outcome this time. 

I know the year is almost over, but I have not given up. I here by recommit myself to Mastery of within reason. I will bring balance back into my life with a more sustainable plan. 

Sifu Langner

                                                Mastery by Stewart Emery

 Mastery in our career and consciousness simply requires that we constantly produce results beyond the ordinary. Mastery is the result of consistently going beyond our limits. For most people, it starts with technical excellence in a chosen field and a commitment to that excellence. If you are willing to make a commitment to excellence and surround yourself with things that represent excellence and pursue events and experiences that become miracles, your life will change. ( When we speak of miracles, we speak of events and experiences in the real world that are beyond the ordinary).

It is remarkable how much mediocrity we live with, surrounding ourselves with daily reminders that the average is acceptable. Our world suffers from terminal mediocrity. Take a moment to assess all the things around you that encourage you to remain average. These things keep you powerless, unable to go beyond the limits that you have arbitrarily set for yourself. Take you first steps towards mastery by removing everything in your environment the represents mediocrity, removing your arbitrary limits. Try surrounding yourself with friends that expect more of you than you do. Didn't some of your best teachers, your coaches, your parents expect more of you?

On the path to mastery, erase any resentment towards masters. Develop compassion for yourself so that you can be in the presence of masters and grow from the experience .Rather than comparing yourself and resenting people who are masters, remain open and receptive; a let the experience be like planting a seed within you - with nourishment, it will grow into your own individual mastery.

Correction is essential in power and mastery. You see, we are all ordinary. But a master, rather in condemning himself for his ordinariness, he embraces his ordinariness and uses it as a foundation to build the extraordinary. Instead of giving up, like ordinary people do, a master uses his ordinariness to correct his errors, which is essential in the process towards attaining mastery. You must be able to correct yourself without condemning or invalidating yourself, accept the results and improve upon them.

Correct, don't protect. 

 

Animal sitter

I don't know when but I guess I am a pet sitter now. I have taking care of Dan and Mels dog, then my Parents dog, now I am taking care of my aunt's pet. All 16 of them and they all get homemade food. 8 dogs, 7 cats, and 1 lizard. Also I will be taking care of my old land lords dog next, after this. 

 I just cant seem to say no. I say yes, because I know they don't have to many options, and it's the right thing to do. Also I usually never have any plans anyways, so I am usually free.  Now I am not advertising here haha. I am just realizing that majority of the time when someone ask me for help I will do it. So long as I have not already made a promise to someone else. 

 I realize being an animal owner people normally can't go for trip, because who will watch the pets? It has to be someone you can trust and know they will take care of your baby, or babies. I will say taking care of this many animals is a bit strenuous at times, but that just mainly the cooking. 

Right now I am staying on an acre of land so plenty of room to do kung fu when the dogs and cats are on their bathroom break.

  I really feel grateful that my friends and family trust me this much with their animals. My aunts animals are the small kind. So sometimes I will have like 4 dogs on me and 2 next to me and 1 or 2 cats on me as well. Quite the load, but pretty cool to.

 

Sifu Langner

Work and Questions

I have been working like crazy lately. All in the name of finishing on time. I feel really lucky in my career right now. I have a job, and I have been trusted with more and more responsibility. I am always nervous when I have to work on something new,  but I ask questions to things I don't know and figure things out on my own that I can. 

I would say I have kung fu to thank on how I approach and learn my trade. I am willing to learn and not afraid to ask questions if needed, but it's not just random questions. They are quality questions that helped me better understand what I was doing. 

I do run into some people who will be condescending to me because of my question, but then they said sorry when they heard the whole context. I am showed to that listening to someones question is just as important as asking. Asking the right question could help me figure it out without them ever saying a thing, or saying the question in the right way to convey what I am trying to figure out and learn. Interestingly enough sometimes I still get to learn something new even knowing they did not answer my question yet. So of course I ask it again with better wording, but I still got valuable information; that I did not even know that I wanted.

Sifu Langner

 

Rain

Whenever it rains for me in the beginning I get to have fun and think of where those rain droplets go. I envision them starting high in the sky then falling down as fast as you can. Then hits the side of a building and explores all the unique curves and edges; Cleaning in its path to ground.  Eventually leading to the ground and being soak up buy nearby plants.  Cleaning and providing life all in a fall. 

 Those are my stop to appreciate moments. 

Sifu Langner

Diet

 Diets are a interesting thing. They can be helpful or harmful, if used improperly.  There is diets that I personally would consider a more dangerous way of trying to become healthier and safer ways as well. For me diets were always about losing weight. 

The first time I did it I would not say I learned a lot other than portion control. The second time I lost the weight and it stayed off, but I learned a lot more ways to approach food. First time I was just doing what had to be done and nothing more. it worked, but it did not stick. I gained 40 lbs back. On the second time I learned hope to cope with eating some bad foods, and eating healthier, and working on my will power to not want to eat bad food. The Second time around I learned to make the diet apart of my life. I was not eating so little that I would be always hungry, but I eat with knowing what I am putting in me and fully in control of what I eat. I also developed eating plans to eat food I knew was not good for me. I made the second diet no long a diet but a way of living.

This is where I see what kung fu is and this is what I was thinking about when we were talking about making kung fu apart of your life, and not just a small mission to complete some goals then move on.  The most successful diets I have ever seen were the ones where people assimilated the diet into there lives. It changed the way they lived and I changed too. People who make that diet no longer a diet and a way of a new and healthier lifestyle majority of the time never gained the weight back and continued thriving. I believe Kung fu is the same thing some of the best martial artist I have seen have made kung fu apart of there lives. not just the physical aspects of it, but a lot of the mental and philosophical ways of kung fu as well.

 I have gained some weight, but I was unprepared for the mental strain I was going through, if anything eating was becoming my distraction from what was happening to me. I plan to get both my weight and kung fu back on track. I never thought life could suck so much, but I thank all of you that I talked with. I truly don't know what would have happened if I never did. Thank you

Sifu Langner

Time

Time is a tricky thing. Its one of the constants in life. Time will always move on, and change is always guaranteed; whether we want it or not. Time gets out of hand, there is not enough time, time is moving to slowly, time went by in a blink on an eye, I have all the time in the world, where did the time go? Time can heal all wounds.
      I have been learning to heal right now I have new physical injury in my right arm, and a mental one I am getting over. I Still require more time to heal both, but I am no longer in extreme mental pain.
    I wish right now that time could fly by to the point where I was no longer in mental or physical pain, but then I would miss out on the lesson that this pain has provided me. These are unfortunate lessons for me to learn, but very important lessons for me to learn and will help me shape me into something better and stronger.
  It does not feel like that now, but I know the path I need to take and right now it's time. Time is my enemy and my friend. Only thing that time cant stop me from doing is what I choose to do in my time.
   I choose that things will get better so long as there is effort made. I have that choice.

Sifu Langner 

Covid

I would say my minds a jumble right now. I am having a hard time putting thoughts into words and what to write. I know the cause of this though. It is my lack of engagement in blogging and kung fu. How do I become more engaged? It is not a question I don't know the answer to, but the follow through and consistent action I lack. i have been giving a lot of opportunities to act and better myself in my kung fu, but have not utilized to the best of my ability.
 I keep thinking this will all end soon enough and things will be back to normal, but it never will be and I am accepting of that now.
  Some people will now live with a new fear they were not aware of until covid came. I would say I am not afraid of it, but still understand it is not what it could do to me, but what it could do the people I care about the most. To me this concept has always been true. I may be more aware of it now, but does  not change the fact that disease and viruses still exist. Me possibly infecting the people i most care about has always been in my life, just now it is more feared.
  I should feel okay saying my opinion on this, but I don't. I am unsure on whether or not people will think I'm ignorant or right. I don't judge other for when they tell me they are full lockdown and not going to risk no matter what, or the other side where the still act like nothing has changed and they live there lives as usual. I am not talking about the extremes either, because I don't support the extreme measures some people might take. From buying 25 packages of toilet paper to coughing in your hands then just touching everything in the store.
 I have changed in my personal hygiene and trying to respect everyone's wishes of 6 feet.
  You know I was told how careless of me when I went to Jasper with my girlfriend and 6 kids. I took them out to see mountains then we drove home. I enjoyed this trip and so did the kids, because most of them never seen a mountain in person before. I ask how is this careless? I was around literally no one. But it is okay to go to walmart where you easily run into way more people than I encountered on my trip. So at the time the wide open spaces were irresponsible, but a walmart where you don't know if everyone is taking the clean your hands after you sneeze or cough seriously is responsible? I know people still need food and essentials to survive, but how was being easily 30km from anyone else considered irresponsible?
I am not looking for answers, because I know my stance, and I don't look to change anyone elses. This whole covid thing has been everyone own personal responsibility to act accordingly. Now what that may Intel might differ to one another, but the most important thing it what you did to react, for your loved ones, what you thought was best.
 On our trip we brought hand sanitizer, and gloves for me when I needed to fill up on gas. From what I have been reading about covid it seems like to stop from contracting it is to practice regular cleaning.
   I have read a lot about the covid and read a lot of stories. To me this seems more deadly, because it is being documented more and everyone right now could tell you how many have died and survived and are infected right now.
 For me I am still doing my part to respect everyone elses way of reacting to covid, but there is very little respect for what I am doing. It is not like I am going out and coughing on other, and trying to spread germs. I am simply adjusting to this new world where others are filled with fear. I am not filled with fear, but with what our alberta chief medical officer has said and the WHO organization. They say pretty much practice basic sanitary practices stay home whenever you can, and social distancing. I know I don't really do the last two all that much, but I practice the first one that will help prevent it. I try to do the 6 feet at grocery store, as best I can, not always possible.
  I was lucky that I was able to keep going to work, so staying home was not an option. I am not sure how this blog will do. I am sorry if this has upset anyone. Not my intent or goal. The only people I see are my girlfriend, my roommates, and my parents in person. Everyone that is in contact with me, we have already discussed the risks and what we do differently. I have some other friends as well I have not seen for awhile either because of there wish to not visit during theses times. I respect that. I am personally glad that they are re opening and maybe there could be a second wave, and maybe there could be a meteor to hit us tomorrow. I won't play the what may or may not happen game, because I could play that game with everything and apply the same rules. I could die driving to work tomorrow and kill a family and it was my fault because I was tired. It could happen, I can't predicted the future so I won't let that possible scenario tell me not to go to work and just go and hope for the best and do everything in my power to make sure that does not happen. I will control what I can do in my environment so that it does not infringe on other, but serves me and my loved ones.
   
Sifu Langner
 

Foggy Will

Hello it's been awhile since I have blogged. I also realized that I missed to write it yesterday; when I said I would. I am sorry for that. I have had great life accomplishments in my life as of this month. I have become officially a journeyman electrician and also have been getting closer to my girlfriend.
   I find myself right now with a foggy mind. A state of limbo. I find myself a bit lost with my kung fu this year. I really wanted a great year this year and it all came to a screeching halt when some random person wanted to fight me. I was making an attempt to not let my bad shoulders control me again, not let my attitude degrade again. I wanted to change.
  I believe this time I am better than last time and that I have been able to keep my very negative attitude down.
  I know for a fact I will still have an amazing year because I have to believe that I can achieve this. It really helps that my relationship is going good and that, my job is going very good, and I am not in a deep depression.
  I have always had an easy time believing in others and wanting them to succeed, but believing in myself was probably the hardest thing I have ever tried to achieve. It is easy to say I will try, because now I have gave myself a possible future excuse to fail. It is harder to say I will do, because now I have made a promise and breaking that promise carries a heavy weight; depending how much you value your word.
  I for one value my word quite highly and feel really bad when I don't come through with it. I have learned it is always easy to say I will or I can, but there must absolutely be a follow through with action. Not only do I have to believe in what I say, but follow through with what I say.
   It can get dangerous if I start saying I will do, but not following through, because now I won't be valuing my word and disregarding my life, and the feelings of others. I know I have faltered om my word sometimes, but I don't want that to be me I want to be the person who can say I will do and follow through. I will become that person. I will have a great kung fu year.

Sifu Langner      

Struggle vs. Attitude

Hello I have been struggling a lot lately ever since I lost the ability to do push ups and sit ups. ON top of these things I have a soar throat that makes it hurt to talk and breath. I feel as though I was on a high of being able to do push ups and sit ups again, and participating in kung fu again, yet most of it all got taken away in a blink of an eye(physically). Mentally kung fu has never left my side.
   It's certainly frustrating I have been through this song and dance before and it is no less frustrating now then when I first went through something like this. The only big difference this time is I know what to do and what to expect. I have a plan and I am executing it. I have been giving the go ahead to do these push ups called shoulder tap. It's where I go into a push up position and use one hand to touch one shoulder then switch. I can currently do 10 right now. I will be doing proper push ups again someday, just need to be smart about how I treat my shoulders and do my physio exercises to the best of my ability.
  It kinda feel like right now I ran a 100 km marathon to better shoulders and health, and as I was about to finish that run I was told there will be another 100 kms added here so deal with it. I know life will happen again it is just I was hoping to feel good physically longer then a short burst. But I could wish all I want it won't change the state I am in now. What I can do and I am doing is changing my attitude of how to deal with this situation. Writing and talking about what I am doing and what I am going to do and achieve helps me a lot in the keeping optimistic apartment.
  I will get through this again and this time enjoy the journey to get there. My life is going through major changes right now. I have my very first girlfriend and she makes me so happy, and starting next week I will become a journeyman electrician. I have a lot more responsibilities in life now and I am nervous, but at the same time enjoying the experience.


Sifu Langner 

Curve Ball

So this year I had planned to do better in my push ups and sit ups, and of course I get thrown a curve ball. I got into a fight defending myself against a person who made a poor decision. They decided that it was worth risking jail time for something so insignificant. I won't go into the details, but we grappled twice and he Sucker punch me twice.
 The after math of that fight is I got a bunch of scratches on my face and a sore shoulder. I can't really do push ups anymore, because it puts to much strain on my shoulder and it hurts a lot. Then I started to develop a sore neck. Then at work I did something to aggravate the sore neck to the point of me waking up the next day and I could barely move. So now I can't do sit ups or leg lifts, because it hurts my neck to much.
  So it all seems like it is going down hill from an early start into the new year. Already are my plans have been ruined. So as a wise person said it's about how you react to the Situation and how I am going to bounce back. I am not going to let this de-rail me. I have set my course and achieve my goal of doing better in my push ups and sit ups. I will still participate this Saturday in the 1000 lear year push ups and sit ups. I will have to do it differently, but it's better then choosing to do none. I don't know if my body the way it is now can handle doing a thousand of something, but I will do what I am cable of. 
  I won't be ashamed that if I can't do 1000, but I will give it my all until my body say done. It would be irresponsible of me if I did not listen to what my body is telling me right now. There is a difference between pushing yourself beyond your limits to achieve the extraordinary, and recklessly doing more damage to yourself to the point of irreversible damage. So I will come up with something to do a 1000 of  this saturday and achieve my goals. 



Sifu Langner 
  

So Tired

I have just started this new job in Drayton valley. This job is definitely gonna test my mental and physical state when it comes to my kung fu. I am the worst morning person ever. I really struggle to wake up even if I get enough sleep. I actually do really well with night shift. The only problem is with night is I no longer have a life.
  So the thing is I have to drive 1 hour and 15 mins to there everyday, and of course the same back. I know its not the longest anyone has had to travel to a job, but it is for me. Every morning once I gain any consciousness I feel so heavy and tired; moving at all is a chore. I wish I could just start drinking coffee, but I don't like the taste. I set two alarms for myself, because I am very good at turning off one of them in my sleep.
  Once I get to work it takes me at least an hour to finally get into the swing of things. The big test for me is going to have enough mental and physical fortitude to keep my promises with my numbers, and going to classes.
   I have no intention to miss. I just know myself well enough that I will be really exhausted after work. Its not that my job is insanely hard. I do work hard and enjoy it thoroughly. It's just the mix of knowing I wont get enough sleep  for the day, and the long drive, and still keeping up what I want to accomplish. This for me will be a challenge, but I am determined to keep up with my numbers, and to keep up with my kung fu. I WILL ACCOMPLISH THIS GOAL.


Sifu Langner 

Leap Year 1000

I am actually enjoying for the first time since I joined I Ho Chuan recording my number. It's not like I have not recorded them before, but I always found it to be quite laborious. I would put one more tick down and see just another tick. I would reach 5,000 or 10,000 and I would not care.
  This year seems different I look forward to adding whatever tick I can get and I really enjoy seeing the numbers go up. The different thing I doing this year is a different attitude and a different approach. I am approaching this year as I have a set schedule of accomplishing my push ups and sit ups, but not beating myself up whenever I miss a day. I just know I will keep going and not give up. Its super important to when I miss a day is that I get right back to my schedule push ups and sit ups right away. The world has not stopped because I missed a day, nor have I fallen behind. Everyday will not always be perfect for Getting my numbers in, but I don't stop just because I might not be on schedule anymore. I will keep going.
   Some days I might not get in all the numbers I wanted, but I fit what I can. If shoulders start to hurt, I do tricep push ups, or wall push ups. If my tail bone hurts, or I develop a rug burn on my back, I do leg lifts. There is always a way to accomplish my goals.
  I have certainly chained my altitude, from a chore to a useful tool to keep me motivated. I have had days where doing 10 push ups was my limit due to my shoulders, and that's okay because I am not giving up.
 Also for the title now I thought it would be cool if we could all do 1000 push ups and sit ups on the leap year this year. Even if all you can do is 10 it will be great if we all can participate in this. I Would love to know who wants to join me that day??? it falls on a Saturday :)

Sifu Langner

One Step

I am going to approach this year of I Ho Chuan one step at a time. I have been re-evaluating my life lately. I realized I have been trying to accomplish the end goal so fast I have been messing up on the journey to my goal. How I get to my goal is the most important step into achieving anything in life.
   Somewhere in my life I forgot this. I need to apply this way of thinking even into my daily way of living.
With work, relationships, personal growth, and of course kung fu.
 Step one Learn and absorb everything I can, listen and communicate, don't ignore how I feel, record everything and practice



Sifu Langner

Best Day Ever

I just want to start with congratulations to Sifu Sollinger and Sifu ward. I felt truly blessed yesterday, because not only did I get to see my best friend get his black belt, but I was Dan and Mels 5 technique partner for there banquet debut. These are my two closes friends and I have the honor to call them both my best friends. I also really enjoyed being apart of the drumming. I truly love drumming. I laughed a lot at this years lion dance it was just so well done.
  This banquet was bitter sweet, because I was super happy for Dan, but I also knew he was leaving the I Ho Chuan for the first time since he joined this year. He is leaving for a noble reason. I know Dan will still be at kung fu all the time, it's just gonna be different this year, because Dan for me embodied what the I Ho Chaun program can do for someone, and what it looks like when someone gives their all to completing everything in the I Ho Chuan program. Dan truly does not have the spirit of "I will try" he has the "I will do and this is how, and now I will follow through"
  With Dan gone from the I Ho Chaun team for me it leaves a big hole, but that's what so great about I Ho Chaun. New people will rise up to the challenge and become the new Dan. Dan inspired many and I know he will continue to do so.
  Side note: I got to spend all day today with my girlfriend Cora Lea. With her 2 lovely kids Mia and Destiny. Today was a great day.


Sifu Langner

Living and Learning

It seems weird to me right now. I am 30 soon to become 31 and I feel like I am starting my life right now. I been happy in life before, but I don't think I have ever been this happy. I feel overjoyed, excited, ecstatic, and can't wait for the next day. I went on quite the roller coaster of emotions last week. I lost a very important cousin, I got laid off, but I don't feel in despair.
  I knew my cousin was the type of guy who lived life to the best of his capabilities and always tried his hardest to provide for his family. He was extraordinary person trying to live a normal life. I am certainly still sad about his passing, but he gave me a new way to look at life. Life can end at any moment and you may not know the reason why. So I must live to the fullest, and honor the memory's of people who were not afraid to live their life, but were cut short.  I have always been scared to live mine. I want to continue to live my life to become a person of change and extraordinary experiences.
   I believe so far in my life everything happens for a reason.When I had anger issues in school I Kung fu found me and unknowingly to me at the time, helped me control my anger. When I did not know what I wanted to do for a career I met Dan who inspired me to become an electrician. When I wanted to move out and lose weight again and learn Japanese, I found a landlord ( through the help of my friends) who helps people with weight loss and teaches Japanese. When I finally gave up on ever having hope of finding someone that would show genuine romantic interested in me I find her at work. She actually gave me great advice which lead me to asking her out. "A close mouth never gets fed". A passing cousin who I took for granted and thought would always be there. He showed me how important it is to really appreciate the time I have and those I share it with.
  I will truly miss him. Thank you I will never forget you. I wish we had more time. I promise to live my life to the fullest I can.


Sifu Langner

Small Acts

Small acts can have an immense impact on someone life; positive or negative. I have tried to live my life to be more wary of these small acts that I do; In hopes of making them be a positive one. I have few small gestures that effect me for the rest of my life.
   One was when I was in high school I bumped into this girl and she fell. I was about to help her up until she looked up at me and uttered the word "eww" to me. I did not help her and continued on my way. That one small act had stayed with me since. I do have self image problems, I believe myself to be rather unsightly. All because of a small irresponsible gesture. I know that kids can be cruel, and that it is something that should not even be a worry in my life. I am not as effected by the comment as much as I used to be, but it is a deep wound that is still healing. It does certainly help that I have found someone who cares for me greatly.
  The second one is more random chance. I had the choice of being in taekwondo or kung fu. Both me and my mom did not know which one my friend went to. (it was neither of them, he was completely somewhere else) I told my Mom let go to the left one. Honestly at the time it was white or black uniform to choose from. I based my decision that I like the black one better and I joined kung fu that day. Low and behold Kung fu has changed my life in such an amazing way. It helped me become social, it helped me build my self confidence, it helped me make friends, it helped me to go outside of my comfort zone. If not for kung fu I'm sure I would not be where I am today.
  These small acts in my life have changed me for the better and worse. So now I am always on the lookout for the next small act to change my life. The only difference is now I am trying to be the change I want to see. I hope some day I will be responsible for the small act that helped them along the way. The coolest part is that the person themselves may never know, nor would I. That is just how powerful a small act can be achieved.


Sifu Langner