Comfort Zone

     This is a place where it is easy to set and live in. It is a place where I feel the safest and most secure. I do believe having a nice comfort zone can have its benefits sometimes, but right now is holding me back. I am at the stage where I talk about my faults of re connecting with society, and then continue to stay in my comfort zone. A place of mediocrity and content. It is a place for me where I stifle my own growth. 

 I want change then I do nothing. I want to interact more with the outside and then do nothing. It is like I believe that if I hope and pray for things to happen it will. I will stay in my comfort zone and things will get better. This is a lie I subconsciously tell myself that things will happen. 

  I need to do the actions if I want to see the change. I need to go out of my comfort zone if I want to see the change. I can cheer and ra ra till I’m blue in the face, but if I keep choosing to stay in my comfort zone, I will always fail. 

 I always find pointing out my issues for why I fail or not achieve something easy, but then do not correct my course of action to become successful. I could say I did not succeed in hammering in that nail, because I did not use a hammer, I used a water bottle. It did not work so I know to use the hammer to achieve my goal. Then for my next swing I pick up the water bottle and try again. I knowingly and willing chose to fail. 

 It is like I have purposely trapped myself in my own insanity. I play to many mind games in my head and when I get opportunities to be more social I stay in my comfort zone. Nothing says I have to be super talkative, but it would be a step in the right direction. 

 Being a hermit is an easy life. It is a life filled with being alone with my own thoughts and not a single care for the world. Nothing really changes, there are no challenges, no struggle, no growth. Me not taking the opportunity to fail and grow from new experiences. I do believe failing in life is a good thing, because I get to learn a lot from it and grow, but choosing to fail  is not growth. 

  It truly is easier to say I will change and start being more sociable, but they are empty words. I could write and say all the write things, but all of it may as well be a blank page if I do nothing. 

  I have to take the jump. It is a jump I do not want to do, but needed anyways. I am destined for solitude and dying alone from the world if I continue the path I’m on. I have had some family members and my parents friends who lived this type of life. I always said to myself I don’t want that type of life. Here I find myself walking the same path. Maybe they were happy and content living that way, but I know I am not.

Well I can’t think of a good way to wrap this blog up. I’m just ranting at this point. My numbers were not great this week, but I think they changed slightly. So thank you for reading all of this and here are some numbers.

Acts of kindness: 340

Km: 235

Sit ups: 3950

Push ups: 3950

Da mu hsing: 71

Drum stick form: 86

Spar: 108