Work

 I am happy I am finally working again. It may be for a month or two, or maybe even a transfer. Me not working does not do the best for me mentally and physically. I may not mind for a bit if I have EI, but when it runs out I just get to see all the money I have been trying to save just simply disappear. If long enough time went by I could have been starting over again with saving money, but I had maybe a year of funds before it went to zero.

 I do count my lucky stars that I was at least in a position where I could survive a year with no income, but it still plays with me mentally. 

  Now that I have work again I have to be active in preventing as for “me going to work” as an excuse to pull away from kung fu. I am very good and finding good legit reasons to not to kung fu, but sometimes in excess. It’s like I actively look for a good excuse that no one can argue, rather than looking for an excuse to practice kung fu. 

  I should be looking for more legit good excuses of why I can practice kung fu. I always bring the mentality of kung fu to work, because I strive for being the best at work, and try and make complete strangers like me. So they might want to keep me or even transfer me to another job. 

 I should keep that mentality for kung fu. The only difference is that I know I’m in a place where people already care about me and are positive to my journey. 

  There are infinite amount of excuses for not excelling in life, but there is just as many for excelling in life. I just have to be more proactive about looking for the more positive ones and keep them in my mind for when I will always visit the dark road.

  I know I will have a down time again and even now I am on the up rise for better mentally, but I will be back. I just have to prepare so I can leave the dark path quicker. It would be most ideal if I never went to the dark path ever again, but that’s not realistic for me. 90% of my life I have thought very negatively. I have gone down the spiral of never ending despair. It sucks.

 I can get out though. I have learned and grown. I can only learn from my past and prepare for the future and try living in the present. I am still pretty anti social right now, but I am hoping to change that. I am hoping that I build the courage to be in the public eye. I Have to take the opportunities to be social and make opportunities to be social.

  I have done a little kung fu this week. So numbers are small improvement, but it’s not zero, but I can do better.

Acts of kindness: 1710

Km: 1500

Sit ups: 7330

Push ups: 7330

Da mu hsing: 151

Drum stick form: 251

Spar: 108