Hard work

 I have really been embracing the ideal and action of what  hard work is. Hard work is normally repetitive, monotonous, boring thing to do. Hard work can be fun too sometimes, depending on the situation. Hard work for the most part usually leads to some great accomplishments. 

Hard work for me has become more relevant to me. I want to be fluent in Japanese, then I need to put the time and the effort to achieve that goal. I want to get physically fit, then I need to start going to the gym and practicing my forms. I want to have a positive outlook on life, then I need to practice that positivity. All of these goals involve hard work. 

I do find the answer 'Hard Work' to a lot of my problems vexing, because I am now more aware that there is no trick. There are tools to help all of these goals, but no magic wand to be found. I have mix feeling right now, a bit frustrating, and super motivated. I get to put the 10'000 hours to become the best version of me. After putting in the hard work then I would think now I can rest, but nope I cannot. I will have to remain vigilant to keep putting another 10'000 hour. It may sound tiring, but with proper planning and thought it is doable. 

Hard work is remaining consistent with the action to take to achieve that goal, and approaching the task mindfully. 

Sifu Langner

Sleep

 My sleep has been very erratic since my grandpa's passing. I go to bed around 10 or 9:30 every night, but I am not tired always. I sometimes stay up till 2 or 3 in the morning; not by choice.  I will be in bed getting tired as I read. Then I say alright time to sleep, then immediately feel wide awake again. I always wake up no matter the amount of sleep I got around 7:30 or 8. Usually my normal sleep routine would be I go to bed read then sleep. Now I am up and down then up again. At home I find myself falling asleep in the afternoon now. Not always, but sometimes I get so sleepy and I can't stay up to try and fix my schedule. 

I have not tried anything yet to try and help my sleep yet. I feel as though I am not staying up, or having these erratic sleep behaviors because of the loss of my grandpa. I do feel at peace with how he went. A long happy life in the comfort of his bed. Since that day my sleep has been erratic though. I am hoping I get my sleep under control before I possibly get the go ahead to return to work. 

During the day I feel as if I am on a constant time of drowsiness; even when I am in kung fu or at the gym. I swear I am ok now about the passing. It is sad, but I took a lot of great life lessons from it. I have never been so connected with my family. I am currently having a hard time trying to make sense of this blog. This time I am getting a wave of super sleepy, but I know as soon as I get comfy I will wake up again. 

I do believe I will get a hold of this sleep soon enough. Just one day at a time.

Sifu Langner 

Grandpa

 This is a blog I don't want to do, but also the only thing  that is on my mind. My grandpa passed away last week. It is not like we were not expecting it to happen, but still jarring anyways. He went in his sleep with no pain. He was 92. I just got home and jumped onto my blog. We already had his funeral. 

My grandpa was a man who lived a very full life. He had a big family and always stayed connected with everyone. He was a man who everybody came to when they needed a solution to a problem. He never completed school, but everyone who knew him swore he was a genius. He never waited for anyone to fix his problems, he always attempted it himself. Even if it did not work he would find another solution. There was never in his vocabulary I cant do it. It was always lets try this. He enjoyed a life of the simple things. He had a farm in his backyard and always played cards with friends and family, and lots of fishing.

My grandpa is a man who always charged forwards, always learning and becoming better. He was a super competitive card player. He would for almost any card game we played would be able to tell you what is in your hand after playing just 1 or 2 cards like cribbage.

When I was a kid I remember he was always busy doing something. He was usually in his little farm field taking care of the vegetables, or whittling some wood. He used to take me out driving around the farm lands looking in ditches to collect empty beer bottles. I spent many days with him just driving  around calling "bottle" to go pick it up. After he collected enough he took us out to a restaurant. His biggest haul was 75 dollars. That was normally my summer vacations and I loved them.

I was blessed by my accident. Normally my parents every year always went to go visit my grandparents, but I never went, because I would be very busy with work. Now because of the accident I went with my parents this summer. I was able to have the opportunity to spent time with him one finale time. Not knowing it to be my last time, but grateful for it.

I really do miss him a lot. I guess just like my grandpa I now will try and honor him by charging forwards And to always learn and become better, and  enjoy my family more. 

Sifu Langner 

Just Do It

 I have always found sometimes the easiest yet hardest thing to do is to "just do it". I have learned that sometimes in life I would wait for some miracle to help me achieve my goals. I keep hoping that something will accomplish my goals for me, but it never does. If wanting to do something was so simple of a fix, or wanting to change my mentality just by simply doing it; then why have I not achieved enlightenment. The answer is simple because I have not put in the hard work needed to accomplish such a goal. To achieve anything it all starts with beginning of the journey and to continuously pursue that goal. 

 The reason I believe to "just do it" is so hard to achieve is because of fear of failure, or thinking there is not enough time, or my time has past, or the big one "I'll start tomorrow". Waiting for the perfect moment will never happen. 

  Now to approach this way of thinking, must still be approached with a lot of effort. I must plan appropriately to achieve my goal. If I pursue my goal thoughtlessly it could do me more harm than good. I want to lose weight. I could start my goal by just simply starving myself. It will accomplish the goal, but in the long run will harm me. I am recording my food intake and adjusting a diet that will encourage weight loss, but not starving. I am also going to the gym and invested in a trainer to help me with proper technique so I don't hurt myself and can maintain progress. 

  I have gone through many years in the past of waiting for the miracle to happen, and of course it never did. I have lost weight two other times, so this will be my third time. Both previous times I was successful and I will be successful a third time.

To have the mentality to "just do it" requires a lot of hard work and discipline. Which is why I am so glad that there is a place that teaches such values.... Kung Fu. I am by no means the best at the "just do it" attitude, but it is a way I have been trying to bring into my life.  

I will share this video with you all and I hope it fires you up like it does me.  This video was done with a lot of funny movement, but the message it tells is still very powerful. Even if you have seen this video before I think it deserves a re-watch. 

Shia LaBeouf "Just Do It" Motivational Speech (Original Video by LaBeouf, Rönkkö & Turner) - YouTube

Sifu Langner

Intent and Action

 Intent and action are two completely different concepts, but if they work together you accomplish extraordinary outcomes. Having intent to accomplish a goal, but without action the goal will not be reached. Doing action without intent will make the goal not serve you. Both intent and action used together will make the goal reached and the goal serve you.

 If I want to see a change in myself I need to have intent and action. My intent is to see that change, but it will not happen if I do not take action. If I do actions without intent then achieving my goal will likely fail. Having intent will find value in my actions. 

 Actions and intent can be applied on the grander scale of big life goals, or as small as a single punch. If I apply both intent and action to both it will serve me greatly.

 I have been really finding the great things about how powerful intent and action work together. I find that I have experience all three ways before and have seen the results. I used to put in only action as a younger guy in kung fu. I would show up then leave. That was my action with kung fu, because I had no real intent kung fu served no purpose for me at the time; so I quit. I had intent to go back to kung fu, but never took action. I found my intent, and initiated my action to go back, and then kung fu served me greatly; which helped me achieve extraordinary goals.  

Sifu Langner

 

Murphy's Law

So last week we finally finished some home improvement. My uncle really helped us a lot in finishing our new floors. We really appreciate all the hard work he did for us. We now have laminate flooring and tile bathroom. It was a project my parents wanted done for a very long time. Reason I bring up the construction, because I was helping my uncle throughout the whole process. We were finishing up the bathroom and he was reattaching the water line to the toilet. I was putting some caulking on some base boards. He asked my aunt to pass him an adjustable wrench; it was a fairly big wrench. Well in the passing of the wrench over my head the pass did not make it and dropped on the back of my head. In the very spot that whenever I applied any sort of pressure it would send me into a dizzy spell. 

   This area on the back of my head was more sensitive before and someone just poking the back of my head would make me dizzy. I have come a long way to now it did not effect me at all anymore. Initially after getting hit I was a little worried, but nothing happened right away. Until the adrenalin wore off; I became dizzy and it lasted for two days. Not continuous dizziness, but off and on. 

  I am feeling better now. The tiny event that happened to me seem to not faze me, like other times I have become dizzy. Before I would be really frustrated, or upset at the lack of control I have over my body, and mind. This time I was more mentally ready. It sucks that this random bad thing happened to me, but it is okay. I got to really connect with my aunt and uncle, and that is what stuck in my mind; besides the wrench that hit it. 

Sifu Langner

Nervous

So I am closing in on my re-evaluation from the brain doctor. It will be in January, still 2 months at least. I am not nervous to see if I will be going back to work or not. I am nervous if I do get the green light to go back to work. I wonder if I will find a job, or even still be a somewhat competent electrician. I am still a fairly new journeyman and I worry that even if I find a job I will possibly lose it do to not performing well enough. 

  Coming November 16 will be my anniversary of my accident. That means I have not worked for over a year by the time I get a job again. I have been learning a lot about myself in this year, both mentally and physically. I may be moving towards a better future for myself, but nervousness still wreaks havoc for me when it comes to work. Even before the accident I would always worry that my work could be not good enough, or I am not getting the job done fast enough. I am a man who thinks that I am never doing good enough at my job so I work harder. Even if I am told they are really happy with my work I don't let up, because compliancy produces poor work, or causes harm. I have seen once a worker feels as though they do not have to earn their job, are normally the first ones to go.

  I am developing a new strategy for my way of thinking when going back to work. I need to get the thought process of work hard and not settle for mediocracy, and also show gratitude when I am told I am doing well. I need to maintain my high standards, while not beating myself up. I am just wasting time and energy when I do this. I need to be aware of the negative events that could happen, but not dwell on them. Focus on the possibility of my future and how I will accomplish it. 

  I think this accident has helped me prepare for the return to work, but this time better mentally. Oh boy this is going to be a lot of hard work here, but I am ready for it.

(Side note: Honestly I was feeling a lot more nervous until I wrote this blog and made this plan. The power of The Blog.)

Sifu Langner

Workouts

I have been fairly sore these past few weeks. I have been consistently going to the gym 3 times a week. I had talked with a personal trainer at the beginning and established the amount of times I would be going to the gym. Ideally the number of times per week should be 4 to 5, but I knew that was an unrealistic goal for myself. If I did 5 times a week I would burn out half way through on the 2nd week. Also I was not physically able to achieve that anyways, but even if I could I knew my limitations. 

  Currently I am enjoying just trying to build a solid foundation by learning from a master. I am developing a progression that I can maintain and that is not to extreme; a nice gentle turn of the wheel.  I do have a goal someday to increase the amount of times of going to the gym. I am starting this gym event within my new found limits, but I am slowly testing beyond the limits I have set for myself. Lots of frustrations and wanting to quit, or not wanting to show up to the next work out day. I am still trying to develop a better attitude about going, but it is getting better. Have not miss a workout day yet.

  Right now I need to build my strong foundation to build my future.  I have limits, but they do not hold me back. I push beyond my limits, but not so far to create more. To little of a push accomplishes nothing new, push to much and backwards I will fall. This journey of rebuilding my strength and balance back has been a huge up hill battle. I can't say that all this has been fun, but I can say I am thankful for it.

Sifu Langner

Bad Things Happen

 Bad things happen and how we handle them builds our future. There is always a glimmer of hope even in the most horrible events; sometimes just a sliver, but sometimes that is all we need. 

My life has been turned upside down since my car accident. I lost my balance, my mobility, my job. I could barely walk out of my house before I needed help to get back, because I would have dizzy spells. I won't lie I did go down the more travelled road of the negative way of thinking. I was slowing giving up on myself. Then I heard the sliver of hope "gratitude". I started to realize the great people I have in my life that I can count on. I got to re-invigorate my love for understanding how my body works again. I started to see more opportunity's in life again. There is always opportunity's in life to become a better you and I am seeing them again. 

 I had found hope for me. I could let this car accident make my life worse mentally and physically, but I did not let it. I decide how good my future will be. I feel very confident in my next meeting with the brain doctor that I will be allowed to go back to work full time. Even if he does not clear me that is okay, because I have decided that I will continue to reach for the stars in my future. I know I will reach them someday, because I know I will never give up. 

More bad days are to come, but I am ready. I will look for the sliver of hope, and if I cannot find it then I reach out to someone to help me find it. 

Sifu Langner

Mind Muscle

 I have been working a lot of developing my mind muscle. I have been working out my mind to solve problems and thinking more positively. Now I am not talking about math problems, but everyday issues to big event issues. 

I remember as a apprentice electrician I was working with my journeyman and I was noticing a lot of problems we were facing. I brought up all these problems to him and he told me something that stuck. "It is not a bad skill to have to find the problems, but you are only focusing on the issues and not giving me any solutions" I found multiple problems and solved none. I was just pointing out problems instead of trying to shoot out ideas to fix the problems. I have been looking at everything in a new light. I have been more actively solving issues in my life.

 I want to lose weight: join a gym(which I did) really control what I put in my body. I want to be cleared to go back to work by my brain doctor: do physio exercise and take any working opportunity at home, push myself methodically. Thinking this way is a muscle that needs constant work and can be easily forgotten.

I have been practicing positive thinking as well. It is a muscle that is very weak right now. I have really pumped up my negative thinking. I could bench press 500lbs with the negative mind muscle. I have been recently put in a situation where I have had to really put in the mental effort to find the great thing that are happening for the sake of my father. Right now I need to be the beacon of hope in these dark times for him. It has really open my eyes in how easy it is to think negatively. Me and my father can spot negative things 100 kms away from us, but miss the happy miracles happening right in front of us. 

I have been practicing that change will happen bad or good. I have been learning even in the dark times there is always light. Without the bad things in life I would not know what was good. Yin Yang is my absolute favorite symbol, because it always reminds me of the existing of good and evil; one cannot exist without the other.  

Sifu Langner

Quantity and Quality

 Going to the gym has made me re-learn the values of quantity and quality. The fundamental balance you need to have between the two. 

If you do 100 push ups every day, but you barely bend your elbows at all, then you did 0 push ups. If you do proper form and technique for 5 push ups for the day; you have only done 5 push ups. Both forms lack moving forward and future growth. Neither become better at doing 100 proper push ups in a day. This way of practice is a very unbalance form of quantity and quality. 

We always tend to obsess over quantity or quality. The thought process of quantity is  I need to meet my numbers for today so I will sacrifice quality because it makes it easier to get the numbers. The other side quality we focus so much for high quality push up we are unable to achieve our numbers, but at least they were good push ups. 

Quantity and quality hold the same equal importance for me. You need quantity to build the muscle that was not there and you need the quality to make the form most efficient. If your doing push ups and your thighs are the ones in pain after push ups, then either there is a separate issue ,or weaken muscles never worked before, or really bad form.  

I learned that I was doing bad form in my exercise lifting weight. I was trying to go over what I could handle in bad form. I had to reduce the weight I was using, and focused on learning to achieve quality with quantity. I needed to do 15  repetitions rather then 5 repetitions. I used the 15 to develop the quality. I paid attention the higher amounts of doing the exercise to see the flaws and improve. 

So if one day I want to achieve doing 100 push ups in a day that are high quality, then I will need to put in the quantity and remain mindful while building my quality. Currently on the ground I can do 3 push ups. On the wall I can do 30 push ups. I have to maintain the best quality for when doing wall or floor. So I can build up the muscles. I do the walls for quantity and floor for quality. They both serve a great purpose for me and I hope to continue making progress while trying to maintain the balance.  It is not easy it is hard, but worth every sweat and tear. 

Sifu Langner

Gratitude 2

 In these current times a lot of negative events are going on, global, provincial, city, and my home. All of these negative events can easily put me in a very dark path mentally. I have been working hard on my mental state to try and resist the route of unhappiness. It is not the best yet, but I am growing positively.

I have been trying more often then not, to practice gratitude. Whenever I am in a very negative head space I start listing things that I am grateful for. I start with the obvious ones, then I move to the really small things I know I never really appreciate them; like being able to see. I never ever think about it, because I have never lost it. I do not want to wait to appreciate the things I have easily for me now. Why wait until something bad happens to be grateful for it. 

 Going over these small things started to bloom into going over small accomplishments. Like being able to say I have done 355 push ups now. My wrist still hurts a lot, but before I could not even walk 20 m out of my house without my dad helping me back to get back home. I am improving small amounts, but still forwards.

 I cannot control the inevitable bad events to come, but I can control how it effects me mentally. Thinking about all of these small gratitude's has really made me feel happy more often. 

Sifu Langner

Step 2 Recovery

 I have recently started to go to a gym. I am now in the process of slowly regaining the strength I have lost. I am not a big gym goer, if anything I am normally super bored in them. I have always been told that if you go enough times consistently for a long period of time I will start feeling a sense of loss on the days I don't go to the gym. A sense of euphoria will start to be felt every time I would go. That's the goal I am aiming for. 

My physio actually told me I am approaching this all wrong. If I approach it with the attitude it is going to be boring then it will be. Then a light bulb went off in my head before he finished what he was about to tell me. Going to the gym and repeating the same moves over and over again. Making sure I am using proper technique. Hard work and discipline, the very meaning of kung fu. I have to transport the teaching form kung fu to the gym. Everything I do at the gym is an opportunity to better myself.  Focus on what the muscle is doing instead of focusing on wanting to leave; change my intent.

This going to the gym for me will be a bigger challenge to me in more ways than one; mentally and physically. The biggest hurdle for me will be the attitude. I have drastically changed my attitude before, and it was for kung fu. I saw nothing but hoops to jump through at kung fu. Then 3 years later I saw them as a doorway to greatly improve myself mentally and physically. Now I must use that attitude from kung fu and install it to my gym workouts.

It will not be easy, but nothing worth having ever is.

Sifu Langner

Dew Drop

A wet dew drop on a leaf 

Slide down the leaf and into a fall

Hit the ground, but do not break

Melt down into the ground

Feel the dry soil become wet from the touch

We are one

Feel the warmth from above

Lighter I become

Pulled from the ground into the air 

The warmth permeates through my whole

I am now light and bold

Higher and higher I rise until I meet some fluffy friends of mine

Become filled with serenity and peace

Dive back down to earth 

The wind flow passed me as I fall

Greeting me back home

Landing on a leaf

Renewed and ready to begin it all  

Sifu Langner

Phenomenal Day

 The Bootcamp was a great success. I was able to have so many great experiences. I got to do so many of my passions that day. I got to attend a bootcamp, I got to hold a seminar on drumming, and I got to see two of my great friends give a fantastic leadership seminar. The best part about the day was getting to see new students see the miracle that day was. I love bootcamp day so much, everyone is a new and exciting experience. This year was the absolute best for sure.

I will treasure this memory forever. Thank you all for wanting to be apart of this experience. Thank you Sifu Brinker for giving me and all that participated this golden opportunity.

Sifu Langner     

Respect

I have always heard that respect is earned and not given. I always thought that had some value and truth to those words, but I have been seeing in our current world it has become demanded and entitled to be respected. If I don't agree with their thought process I become less than filth. If I don't respect people the way they want me to portray respect, then I have a screw loose. Having my own thoughts and feeling are no longer allowed. I must bend to everything around me and it is my fault if things go wrong.

  I have become more aware in these past few years in how I give respect. I always start the stranger with 100% respect and their words and actions from there on will decide if I respect them more or less. So I give respect immediately and they earn to keep it. I try to conduct myself in the same manner and I strive to maintain the privilege of respect earned from others. 

 I try to make the best choices I can to not strive for respect from people that hurt my life and those around me. I start with seeing the best and wanting to immolate the people I truly respect and admire. 

  People now a days will degrade others if you don't agree with them. Rather than having a productive conversation about opposing ideas then respecting their point of view. Even as I finish that last sentence I thought our current world would say "but how can I respect their point if it is in my opinion hurtful" This is where I see people start to put them down; it accomplishes nothing, other then boosting ones ego. 

  Some people no longer respect others decisions. When in our society did it become our personal problem to make sure everyone does exactly what you think is right no questions ask? If there is any then degrade them. No one can control what other people do. What I can do is control how I respect people and those around me. If someone in my life becomes hurtful in my opinion, then I will talk with them and see if we can come to an agreement to what I believe to be an issue. If we cannot come to an agreement then I respect their decision because it is theirs. I might not see them anymore, but I hope their life ends up amazing. 

  I believe as well people have been losing respect for themselves. I know I have a hard time with having any shred of respect for myself, but I have been working on it for most of my life. I have been told I should disown myself for simply having a slightly better life than others, for looking a certain way. I am not allowed to be happy because I have a loving family and amazing friends. I need to struggle and feel like I am worthless. 

 I would say the one place where I see and have learned the best way to respect was at kung fu. I was treated as a human who had potential and was not forced to think in any particular way. I was giving the respect to make that choice to be better and learn from my mistakes. Opportunity to learn how to be a respectable person and how to give others respect. I Learned ways to help respect myself and I learned to show gratitude for earning respect. 

  

Sifu Langner 

Going Back To School Project

 Last week was a great experience. I have done the going back to school project at the kwoon a fair amount of  times. For the most part I have a lot of fun every time, but this time was different for me. I decided to try and take on a leadership role for the project. I took it as an opportunity to strengthen the bond with my I Ho Chaun team and meet new people from other classes as well. Also I used this opportunity as a test to see how well I could last doing a job again. I managed to get to 5 to 6 hours and when I got home I was super tired and fell asleep for 1 to 2 hours. The last day was the hardest for me because the great physio opportunity had to end. Also that day was very difficult physically and mentally. Since I push myself to the absolute limits to make it to the fabled potato bake. When I got home I immediately fell asleep. 

 The amount leadership I saw at the project was absolutely amazing. The best part about the leadership was there was so many that took the role of leader. This project was not just a success because of one person who lead; it was a team effort of leaders. The mere thought of that many amazing people being there that week to achieve our goal just blows my mind away. I want to thank all of you that stepped up and made all of this possible . I especially want to thank Malinda Ferris who made my part of the job seem like a breeze. Thank you all for giving me an experience that was beyond the extraordinary.

Sifu Langner

I Am Grateful

I am grateful for my health.

I am grateful for both my legs and arms and hands still work.

I am grateful that my mind still works.

I am grateful that I can see beautiful days.

I am grateful that I can hear happiness.

I am grateful for my parents loving me everyday no matter what I do. 

I am grateful for my friends in life who are there for me when it is rough.

I am grateful for my Kung fu for how it has changed me forever towards the extraordinary.

I am grateful for my fellow team mates in the I Ho Chaun who show me unconditional support.

I am grateful that I am always making progress in every part of my being.

I am grateful that I get to be alive with you all.

Sifu Langner

Staying Consistent

I need to write my blog tonight. The huge importance of how important it is for me to stay consistent. I had a very long day toady. I spent a huge amount of time moving a lot of materials to another house then I spent my time for the rest of my day with my uncle. He came unexpectedly and we had a lot of fun, but the unexpected is something that will happen again. 

I feel truly tired and in times like these I would normally say I will just write tomorrow. I already know that is a lie. It is the start for me of skipping this week then maybe the next week and so on. Mediocrity can easily creep in. To be mediocre requires no effort, to be extraordinary requires hard work and discipline. 

Sifu Langner

Big Steps Vs. Small Steps

Achieving goals. I have been diving deep into what is truly amazing in my life. I have been seeing more clearly the huge impact of taking huge steps to small steps to achieving my goals.  They both have value, but one is sustainable while the other is not. Big steps are most of the time super charged chaotic possibilities, and small steps are methodical slow and understanding to great discoveries.

Big steps have there value in making drastic changes in your life that could have a positive outcome. Sometimes in life you might need a swift kick in the butt to strive for your goals. A huge step might get you started in the right direction, but how long can you run at full speed in a marathon? There is high risk that you could easily fall off track with one little bump in the road, or something could give out, body, mind, and even loved ones around you. Blinded to the extent of losing progress in other areas in life to achieve the one goal. I have experienced and seen the big steps, and every time they start out with great intention, but at the end the same lesson is learned no matter the outcome good or bad It is not maintainable. Even if the goal has been achieved the goal disappears from our lives as fast as we achieved it. 

Small steps are what builds the foundation to sustainable success. It is a way of achieving your goals without disrupting your currently life, but only adding to it. Small steps is takes gratitude in every little thing accomplished and still makes time for other opportunity's in life. You learn more about the goal and the bigger reason for trying to achieve  your goal. It is a simple slow jog that is set by you and easier to maintain and make it to the end of the marathon and continue this progression into your own life forever. Small steps are great because eventually you will succeed, and now everything in life turns into great success. Small steps teaches gratitude for all the small progress that you have made. 

For me Big steps get me started and thinking in the right direction, but the small steps is what lets me accomplish my goals and see the bigger picture. 

Big step: I want to have my balance and strength again. So I should work out all the time and practice as much as you can and push myself to the extremes. It is unacceptable if I don't at least do ten push ups a day. 

Small steps: I will not work out all the time because I am not there yet. I will become dizzy if I push myself to much. I will do certain amounts a day and take gratitude in small achievement to regaining my strength and balance. Today I do one full push on the ground and tomorrow I will do another and then another. Until I can do two on the ground without issue and I will be proud of those two that day. I will some day reach one hundred in time.

Sifu Langner

Open Training Day

 I really enjoyed open training yesterday. It is a day full of wonder and ah; 2 hours of extraordinary possibilities. It is a day were it feels like to me that there is no limits. Open training day has been one of the many things I took for granted. I would say some times I will just go to the next one, but any event could make it disappear. 

  Whenever I go I always have a great time. Whether it is helping others, having profound discussions, or simply working on myself. I realized why I enjoy the open training so much. It is my dedicated time to pursue the extraordinary within myself. My other classes are meant to learn and grow and Saturday is my time to bloom, and my time to fail. It is my moment I am trying to achieve possible mastery and one day I would like this saying to ring true. "A master has failed more times than a beginner has tried" Just a small dash of hard work and consistent action. 

Open training lets me see the great things other have done and accomplished, or even trying something new for the first time. I get to be re-invigorated by seeing other learn and grow in their own journey towards mastery and humbled by those who have worked hard in our martial arts. I always feel amazing after the 2 hours is done. 

 I swear just by re reading my blog it seem as if I seen magic and dragons on that day and I believe I have. 

Sifu Langner   

  

How I Write Blogs

I do not normally know what I am about to blog. Most of the time I am just winging it. I start sometimes with a title, or just start typing and a title develops. I start writing random thoughts and ideas I have, and most of the time it flourish's into something pretty neat. It feels like I have to do a warm up before I really start typing. 

  I would start typing my day, or past current events related to me, or conversations I have had in the past. This is what I do if I have nothing on my mind at the moment. It helps me realize that yes I do have something and then my blog takes off. 

  Once I have established what I am writing about I will constantly edit and re-edit myself as I type. For grammar purposes, but also it helps me to find how to make sure what I am getting across sounds logical vs. "I like tree and I think there pretty cool"  I realize with this sentence for the most part does convey I really like trees, but I try to make it flow better or not repeat myself.  "I like tree's they're pretty cool" or "I think tree's are awesome" I would not say that there is a wrong one of the three, but one does sound better and more effective for me. I know I have left in many less then desirable sentences, but I am always learning how to convey my message out better. Better wording or sentence structure.

  Re-reading all the time also helps me to find if I have included thoughts and ideas that might not fit the theme of the blog. So I delete them and use them again for when I am doing that theme. Example: I like trees and a severed head of a sea slug can grow a whole new body" Now maybe these two things might be relate to the blog, but if the theme was lets get to know Randy then I would delete the slug part. This way I can stay on topic that pertains to my blog.

     I know I like to always play devils advocate. Which is not a bad thing to do, but I find writing a blog that way to be a whole lot more difficult. I try and stay to the point the best I can, but sometimes I still think that I have to show the other side. I would say always showing the other side put less emphasis on the point I could be driving home.  I would say in this very part of the blog I want to put " but looking at both sides can make great blogs too". I did put it in then, I deleted it, then I put it back in as the example. :) Because I Know both statement ring true, but my emphasis is on not looking at both side all the time to make the point. By showing both sides in these different ideas conflicting each other for me loses the importance of what the first part of the sentence was trying to get across. 

These are just some of the things I  go through when making blogs. They can either be simple or complicated. I know most likely even in this blog I have a lot of errors or things I missed when I edit, but that is why I always try to improve. Blogs just has to start somewhere and the easiest way to accomplish that is to just start typing and see what can evolve from it. 

Sifu Langner

 

4 Months

 So I thought I would give an  update on my well being, and situation. I met with my brain doctor last week and I was unsure what I was hoping for, but also ignoring the most likely outcome of our meeting. I have made really great progress form where I started, but I know I am still recovering. 

I still have balance issues, but that has done a lot better now. I used to need a walker to walk 15 m, now I do 50 mins on the elliptical. I still  have a lot of issues with doing forms and stances and even standing in one spot sometimes. My body now naturally sways like if buoy in the ocean. It has gotten better as well It used to be a sway like in a storm, now I am more like a windy day. 

Whenever I over exert myself physically I become dizzy and it becomes a lot harder to speak. I stutter and cannot remember the simplest words like 'car'; only when I become dizzy though so that is good.  I would say whenever I get into that state I start an internal fight with myself. I tell myself you can say those words without stuttering and you do know the next word. I might be to hard on myself for when I start feeling dizzy. I refuse the idea that I am in this current situation, but I am.

My meeting went good for the most part, but then do to the complications I am still experiencing I got another 4 months off of work. I don't know how to feel about it. Happy that I get more time to get back to functional, or sad and angry for having to do another 4 months. I know I have to take care of my health first, but mentally it takes a toll. These 4 months are gonna take me back to the anniversary the day I got into an accident. It will be 1 year since I last worked.

The mental side of things I would consider myself a late bloomer in the sense of starting my own life. I moved out of my parents home in my late 20's. I finally found a career I really enjoyed. I finally became an journeyman electrician, then I got into an accident. It feels as if I have had to rewind some of my life's progress. I will always fully appreciate everything my parents have done for me, and that they helped me greatly. If anything it made me love them more.

 I know I am getting better, because I am able to do kung fu again. I don't hate the fact I have been in the accident. I have learned a lot of valuable lessons and I am grateful for them and more to come.  I am not super happy about it either, but I have still been coming to terms with the process of everything. Maybe when I get dizzy it s okay that it makes me stutter. I know those moments of dizziness are also slowly disappearing. Past week I have not had any dizzy spells and I was more active. The physio is working.  I will never be where I used to be, but I will be better.

Sifu Langner

5 Animals

I have a theory about the five animals and what they mean to me. I have thought a lot about how animals connect to our kung fu and the reasoning behind it. Simple answer is because  they move through instinct and we try to emulate those animals.  

Crane= balance, Snake=flow, Leopard= speed, Tiger= power Dragon=chi/mastery. 

  This is the very simple answer. They are far more complex than this and that is what is very interesting to me. For me they are also connected to 5 elements as well, air, water, fire, earth, and spirit. 

 All of the animals also emulate each other as well to a certain extent, but I am just going to try and focus on the main points that stick out for me on all the animals even knowing there is more.

Crane

Cranes are known for what we try to emulate balance and I associate air with them. Cranes have a medium body, long neck and long legs. They're many animals that have great balance ,so why cranes? Could be as simple as someone just simply pick them, because it was the first time they started to look at animals for inspirations. I like to think that not only is their balance is to be admired, but when they open their wings and begin to fly it reminds me of taking a deep breath in and proceeding forward with great balance. Hence why I believe air to be with the crane. In windy days you need great balance especially if you walk over a thin beam and remember to breath so you don't panic. Cranes can achieve this with ease even on a windy day. I believe the crane also promotes breathing. Always remember to breath and you will be as calm as a sorrowing crane. With breath and balance we can achieve a clear mind.

Snake

Snakes are known for there stealthy approach for hunting, but we use it for flow instead. It is how they're able to achieve that stealth that shows flow. The fluidity of how a snake moves allows it to strike from different angles, and as it traps it's prey the snake figures out the preys rhythm and uses it against them. I associate water for snakes. Water moves and flows through multiple terrains and watching water articulate it's way can be very peaceful with it's rhythmic ways. Every muscle and bone methodically move to achieve it's goal. Natural flow.  With the combine control and movement of our body's we can achieve harmony within ourselves.

Leopard

Leopard known for the incredible speed and agility they can output. Leopard's calculated quick strikes to catch their prey. The embodiment of speed and motion. Not only does it move fast, but thinks just as quick. I associate fire for leopard. Fire can burn with a high heat in an instant when started, but after that the fire eventually dies down, but if an ember get out and lands in kindling a slow dying fire can charge ahead once again with unimaginable speed and chaos. To have control over our speed and agility can provide a quick thinking during critical times and to finish off the opponent swiftly. If our speed is left unchecked chaos is sure to follow. As a fire and leopard start with quick thinking and control they can accomplish great feats. We can achieve control over our speed and motion.   

Tiger

Tiger is highly notable for their immense strength and taking conflict head on. Tiger's strike with much ferocity and powerful strikes. Tigers strike most from where they are strongest, because they are also methodical thinkers. I associate tiger with earth. Earth is grounded and when brought together mighty sturdy mountains form. Trying to push a mountain in near impossible. Tigers have full control over their strength and use it to their advantage. Tiger's align their skeleton and muscle to achieve a unstoppable strike, using the ground to their advantage. We can achieve powerful strikes through proper alignment in our skeleton and form that emanate from the earth and using our strength to the best of our ability's. 

 

Dragon

 I know of the komodo dragon, and the dragon fly, but for me that is not the dragon that fits the 5. So why make an a creature that does not exist apart of the animals we practice? Dragon for me is the most personable one. Dragon is an abstract concept, but in lore they are mainly depicted as great beings that are far beyond our reach and filled with immense magical power, and a soaring intellect and wisdom. Seems unattainable, so why choose such unrealistic standards? I say why not? Do I think I will ever achieve this? I think maybe. It is a state of mind of thinking once we have achieved a understanding of the other 4 animals. Once that is done all that is left is understanding your chi within yourself and around you. I don't believe I have mastered any of the animals but the dragon helps me see how they all work together and how my own chi works within the animals. Chi can help all aspects of the animals. I feel as I may only know 1% of my capabilities and understanding and that excites me to know there is so much more for me to explore and understand. So for me it makes all the sense in the world to put the Dragon as the 5th. To achieve great things in life sometimes you got to aim high. I associate spirit as the 5th element. spirit is everywhere and everything, and you. Spirit helps you find who you are and drive your intent into chi then into strength. Dragon is having a  great understanding of yourself and how to implement yourself. Achieving dragon is mastery over all 4 animals and internal and external energy's and of ones self. Dragon is the extraordinary we all pursue in are daily lives. To me this sounds like one heck of an amazing journey waiting for me to have, and I am looking forward to it.

There is more to explore with all 5 animals, but i am pretty sure a would need a novel. So that are some of my ideas on how the five animals work in kung fu.

For those that made it to the last line I thank you for taking the time to read it all, or skimming, or this is the first time you're actually reading this big blog(ha ha).

Sifu Langner

   

Sad Day

I always knew it was going to happen, but I was still sadden about it. My two best friend's moved to British Columbia. I met up with them June 13, and I would not say we even had a farewell party. We spent maybe 3 hours together, had pizza; then I had to go because they had a meeting they needed to get to. It hit me harder than I thought it was going to. I have not seen my friends since I got into my car accident. We talked a few times on the phone.

   

  I met both of them in Kung Fu and our relationship really deepened when we went on a trip to Greensboro Alabama. They both helped become more social, and really look into what I really value in a friendship. Kindness, loyalty, fun, accepting ,and the biggest hearts I have ever seen. They were the first friends I had who had the same passion for Kung Fu as I have. They were the first friends that were closer to my age. I was the best man at their wedding. They let me live with them when I needed a cheaper place to live. We are motorcycle buddies. They helped me when I was in the lowest of lows.

 I would say I was very sad knowing I won't see them for a very long time. Until I take a vacation to visit them someday. I am truly happy for them as well. They are both living out their dreams and making it become a reality through hard work and determination, and a little luck. 

I always joked with them that they have the super power of showing how small the world really is. It seemed to almost a regular occurrence for them. 

  

 I really will miss you both Dan and Mel. You guys truly made my life a happy one. I look forward to seeing you again. Knowing their super powers it could be sooner then I think. Be happy Be safe. I truly will miss them. Its hard to write this blog, but this blog is what I needed.

Sifu Langner

Kung Fu

 What is Kung Fu to me? Kung Fu to me is an event that changed my life. I was an angry kid growing up. I had been doing Kung Fu ever since I was in 3rd or 4th grade. I was bullied and resented everything in my path. I looked at the world as "what is the next hoop must I jump through". I was the embodiment of mediocracy. I did not try in my Kung Fu classes. I saw every new change as another weight to bring me down. I did not like Kung Fu. I did not quit (yet), because I did not want to hurt their feelings, or at the time is what I thought. So I continued to go to Kung Fu, but I was never emotionally or mentally there.

   Eventually I did quit. It was inevitable. At the time I was happy, no more responsibilities, no more hoops. In my mind I believed Kung Fu never did anything for me anyways. How wrong I was. I unknowingly had created a hole in my life; I was gone for 3 years. I slowly started to realize that everything that Kung Fu has done for me, and that I was implementing the lessons in to my life unknowingly. I used many skills from Kung Fu in school to help get my anger under control. I realized Kung Fu greatly benefitted me. I was not fully convinced yet, but my mom changed that for me.

  My mother was also in Kung Fu and every year I saw her go for her black belt and fail. It just reinforced my false ideas about Kung Fu, but on her 3rd try she finally got it. Her hard work and discipline finally paid off. I was blown away, my false ideas crumbled. I was inspired to join back in Kung Fu. I now saw everything that was given to me as a challenge as an opportunity to grow as a martial artist and a human. I developed a new approach. Every challenge was a tool to help me physically and mentally. I started to take full advantage of the no longer hoops, but opportunity's. 

 Kung Fu eventually helped me with my social phobia. Kung Fu helped me see all events as an opportunity to become better. Kung Fu helped me find the best friends I have ever had. Kung Fu has given me support like no other. Kung Fu gave me happiness. Kung Fu for me is my miracle that changed my life forever.

Sifu Langner

Tasty Food

I have been having some tasty food lately. One is a cauliflower "steak" and the other broccoli tots.

 You take a whole cauliflower  and make some long cuts, about 3/4 cuts. Put it on a lightly buttered pan, and add salt, pepper, ground coriander, Paprika, and garlic. Add a sprinkle of olive oil 2 tsp. Cook in oven at 425 f for 30 mins or until tender(poke with fork). Tastes like French fries to me.

For the broccoli (340g) Blanche for 2 mins, the chop it into small pieces. A food processor works better, but I don't have one so I chopped chopped. Add 1/4 cup green onion, 2 garlic cloves chopped. 2/3 cups of preferred cheese( i used parmesan) 1 egg, 2/3 bread crumbs( I did not do this step, but it sounds like it would work). salt and pepper. Optional add a hot sauce you like, I did and enjoyed it 2 teaspoons. mix it well then put in fridge for 15 to 20 min. Because I had no bread crumb the making into tots did not really work out for me, so I made it cover the whole pan, like a sheet. Cook in oven at 400 f for 18 mins, or until golden brown. I broiled a little bit at the end to give it a bit more crispiness. 

 I personally made a much larger portion, but it turned out pretty tasty.  

I do feel bad for just talking about food in my blog, because currently I don't have to much of my personal kung fu to talk about right now, and my recover has not changed all to much. I just know I am making progress. I still get a lot of dizziness spells, after physio, but they are hitting less hard every time. So I am happy about that. I have a bit of a mantra right now. 

One step at a time. So long as I am willing to take that one step I will become successful. No matter how big or small that step may be, it is always better to take that one step then none at all.

Sunday Blog 

Tuesday black belt class 7:30 pm

Thursday I ho chuan class 7:30 pm

Sifu Langner

Progress

I have been making really good progress with my physio. I was able to do heel raises with little issue. Before when I started physio I lost my balance a lot and had a hard time doing them; I shook a lot. Now I can do 10 with relatively little to no issues. I have learned better where my limits are. Every time I go beyond my limits I get a dizzy feeling and have to rest for the rest of the day. The room is not spinning, but I lose balance and, my memory gets foggy during these moments.

 I used to do to much physio, but now I have them spaced out better through out the day. I do notice I get the dizzy feeling after a thought provoking conversation, where I do a lot of the talking. I am still learning me again, but I feel I am doing better for sure now. I know slow and steady is the way to do it. I will become a better me. No matter what I go through I know I will become a better me. It is inevitable, because I will always strive for the best me I can be.

Sunday Blogs

Sunday Blogs

Tuesday Black belt class 7:30

Thursday I ho Chaun 7:30

Sifu Langner

Involuntary Swaying

Hello so I have been still having some issues with memory, and dizziness. I Actually thought March 3, but It is March 17. I keep thinking I just did my blog, but now realizing I have not. I have some memory games that they gave me. They are all apps on the phone. I will say I know I am still making improvements. My memory is getting better just slowly.

    I still get a very unbalance feeling after doing my physio exercises. Also I can do 30 mins of an elliptical machine, but if I do 31 mins I get unbalanced feeling again. It is so weird to experience all over again how to keep my balance. When I had my balance I would take it for granted that I had practice for so long to achieve it that I forgot just how much mechanics go into balancing. I have to try and find my center then fight against my own brain that throws me off. It feels like I am trying to balance on a ship sometimes. My body will naturally sway when I stand on two feet and close my eyes. Nothing crazy, but it is involuntary swaying hahaha. (I just thought it was funny and wanted you all to know I laughed at that sentence). Both of my ankles still feel pain when doing the balance exercises. More in the left than the right. 

  I would say a lot of things went bad for me, but right now I feel as though a lot of things have been going really good for me.

SUNDAY BLOG

TUESDAY 7;30 BLACK BELT CLASS

THURSDAY 7:30 I HO CHAUN

Sifu Langner

Ups and Downs then Up again

Hello. Finally going through some proper physio it's started to take it's toll. After some sessions I feel very unbalanced, and sore. Which is a common outcome. I feel like I worked out really hard at the gym, but all I did was some stretches and butt lifts, and my legs are killing me.

 I do worry a lot. I mainly worry about whether I can go back to work, or if work will even higher me back and accommodate me. I am in a weird position right now. They have no obligation to take me back, other then the fact that the foreman said he would. He said that to me when I was in the hospital still, but now that I am thinking more clearly. I am officially not an employee; so they have every right to not hire me back. My only hope to go back is that he keeps his word. Then the other thing I worry is can I physically and mentally do it. I feel after a physio that if I have this much trouble in 40 mins how would I last in 8 hours.

  I would say I am still in the head space of I will not give up and I will eventually be working again. I know that the only thing I can control is me. I know I developed the bad habit of worrying about the what ifs? but I know they lead most of the time to no where. Thinking about the possibilities is not a bad skill to have, but sometimes why worry about how will I solve all of the worlds problems when I just need to focus on how am I gonna walk today. I need to live in the now and what is available and the actions I do now will help me for the future and maybe even those around me.

Blog on Sunday

Black belt class on Tuesday 7:30

I Ho Chuan on Thursday 7:30

Sifu Langner

Memory

 Hello I have been having some short term memory issues. I thought nothing of it, because I forget stuff all the time. I just went through a whole problem solving and memory testing. I did really good at the problem solving, but worse at some other things. One of them was I did not to good on the memory test. They read me a short story or 2 and i had a hard time remembering it. I could be in a conversation where we could be talking about tanks; then 2 seconds later completely not know what we were even talking about. 

 It is not something that happens all the time, but I thought forgetting things sometime was just a normal everyday occurrence. After the test apparently I should not be forgetting as much as I am. I feel I am in a state sometimes where I am fully in control and remember everything that is important to me. Then I end up forgetting important things I want to do, or events I am suppose to attend. 

  It also seems to me sometimes time skips for me. Here I think it is feb 3 when it was actually feb 20. I feel frustration that sometimes I can't remember recent events. I remember that the banquet went really good and congratulations to everyone for doing an amazing job.    

I don't know if this will help, but I am going to write in my blog the things I want to and need to do for kung fu. Maybe if I write it down whenever I want to try and remember things this will help. I already write stuff now, but I forget that I wrote them.

  Kung fu at 7:30 black belt class tuesday 

( I have my Mothers Birthday/Anniversary Feb 23 7:00)

I Ho Chaun at 7:30 Thursday

Blog on Sunday 9:00 Pm

There is few other things I want to add here for kung fu, but I can't remember right now. I just have a strong feeling. Hopefully I will write it in my next blog.

Sifu Langner

Question Power

 Hello so I have had a fairly good day today. I had being talking with a lot of people via phone. I am currently feeling really happy, and nervous right now. I have a big assessment happening tomorrow and I think this will a determining factor of whether I can go back to work or not. I am unsure of what will be happening. Also I am only guessing what this day might be. Since I have not been informed to well about what this day is about, but I am hopeful.

  I had a really good conversation with my good friend Dan. We talked about a lot of stuff, but what was really interesting, was my full realization about questions. We both work in a trade and were taught that some of the best journeyman always asked a lot of questions. Quality and some that may seem dumb, but better to ask then to assume. I always knew asking questions was a good way to help me learn and prevent possible mistakes, or even help others realize there was more to a situation. I know people who have become very good in there field of work, but they never claimed to know everything. 

 Then I thought about it. Asking question helped me figure out some tougher problems in my life, and in work. Sometimes I was able to answer my own problem just because I ask the question to my self and it help me compartmentalize the problem. I thought whenever I see people do not ask questions it gives me the impression; they either have a good handle on what they are doing or they are slowly trying to figure something out on there own, or worst case they don't care, or unaware a question needs to be asked. I have been all of these. 

  Then it really hit me, this is why Sifu Brinker is always asking us if we have any questions about the class. It is a great indicator of how engaged you can be, and also a great indicator of where our minds are at. Dan and me started thinking that good apprentice are the ones that ask lots of questions, rather than an apprentice that never asks none. We have both come across where the one that was not ever asking questions made more mistakes. Now in both scenarios I have ran into where they don't ask, but are great apprentice, or they do ask but they got worse.

  When I am truly engaged into something like my work I always have question, but I realize I have not been the same for kung fu. I realized I had become less engaged with my own kung fu. I have learned a lot about kung fu, but I just have the tip of the ice berg of what what else Kung fu can offer me. So I am going to start thinking more question that cloud help me and maybe even other in Kung fu.    

Why do we throw punches in Kung fu?

  I have heard a few times about why, but once i start thinking about it It makes me try and find the reason for the exists of this punch. I think of the  physical mechanics that make the punch work, then I think of the mental mechanics for it to work. Then I realize the mental and physical mechanics have purpose to show how flow, and power  and intent become one entity. everything that the punches can teach us I believe to be very valuable. 

Simple, good, extreme question majority of the improve someone. That is to me super powerful thing that all have and can do whenever we want. For the most part. 

Sifu Langner

   

No Sleep January

 Hello I am sorry for not posting for awhile or attending meetings, or class. I should of at least sent a message. I was having a really rough January. In the sense of I had no clue of what time of day, or what day I was even on. I was getting very little sleep. The most sleep I got was 4 hours. For me I don't even remember to much happening in January. I was experiencing bad headaches, neck pain, and facial pain. The face one was because whenever I yawn it hurts a lot. So with me being tired it happened a lot. Oddly enough during those times when I tried to sleep, I was not tired at all.

  I have improved, and I no longer have sleep issues, and my neck and face is a bit sore, but I don't yawn as much anymore. That month for me was actually harder for me then when I spent time in the hospital. 

  Good news though I have been working on my balance I have 2 exercises. One is heel to toe, and I have to hold it for 30 secs. The other one is I have to hold one foot up for 30 secs. I have not accomplished these yet, but My best is 18 sec for first one and 13 for the second. My body just loses balance and it feels like I cant stop it, but that is why I practice. I know my balance in getting better, because I don't need a cane anymore when I walk. I never really needed it badly, but when I used to get headaches and dizzy, and would need something to lean on so I did not fall.

 I used to hold the cane most of the time floating. I would swing it where the cane would be if I needed it. I remember in the beginning that I could not walk even half way across the lagoon, without then needing my dad to help me back home. Now I am up to 4 full laps. Ironically enough more times I ever walked around that lagoon even when I was not injure.

 I may have hiccups in my never ending journey, but one thing for sure is that I refuse to give up. I know I will have more lows in my future and I cannot stop it, but I do know is that I can always learn and grow. 

One thing I have learned about life is that there is always opportunitys made available to me. I just need to create, accept, or look for them.

 Sifu Langner